Profile Thoughts


FanStory wrote to another jim:

Vying in Iambic Tetrameter finished first in the contest "Poetry Contests"

May 12, 2016 at 8:10AM
    janalma: What? When? ???
    May 12, 2016 at 10:13PM
    janalma: Is Jim back, then?
    May 12, 2016 at 10:16PM
    Cumbrianlass: No. This is an old post. It must be a glitch in the system.
    May 12, 2016 at 11:11PM

another jim:

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming...

November 28, 2015 at 1:41PM
    michaelcahill: No nutrition, a waste of time.
    November 28, 2015 at 2:40PM
    mrsmajor: Why waste our time, eating a clock, when one can eat a minute Steak..
    November 28, 2015 at 3:03PM
    Cumbrianlass: Aahhh! A long lost and very welcome voice from the past. I missed you. Please say you're going to be posting again.
    November 29, 2015 at 8:36AM
    evilynne: It could be alarming
    November 29, 2015 at 8:46AM
    another jim: I gotta level with you, fellow punsters: I really, really despise the minute hand on my clock. So what say we just enjoy the time that's hours...

    Hi, Avril, and thanks for the warm welcome!

    So...what have I missed?
    November 29, 2015 at 1:47PM
    rama devi: LOL--Missed your wit around here, Jim. Come back, please! So thrilled to see you visiting us! I like evilynne's expansion--it could be alarming! lol. The time that's hours.
    Chuckling... rd
    March 12, 2016 at 10:24AM

another jim:

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop! What are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick to death of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." With that he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she slams the phone down.

The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

November 22, 2014 at 3:46PM
    michaelcahill: Hahahaha!!!! I read this to my wife too. Hilarious...
    November 22, 2014 at 3:56PM
    adewpearl: Jim, I'm delighted to see you!!
    November 22, 2014 at 5:43PM
    IndianaIrish: AJ!! It's so great to see your here. Is it just a visit or are you here to post your wonderful writing!?! I hope you're back.
    November 22, 2014 at 6:29PM
    nor84: Yes, Jim, are you back? Please say Yes.
    November 23, 2014 at 2:08AM
    Adri7enne: Ah, I enjoyed that so much, Jim. I read it several times to analyse the pace and the timing. You really know how to tell a joke. You must be a great asset to a party. LOL! So, when are you coming back?
    November 23, 2014 at 11:15AM

another jim:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, and a South African walk into a very fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," the maitre d' says, after carefully scrutinizing the group, "you can't come in here without a Thai."

January 7, 2014 at 2:49PM
    Cumbrianlass: And it's lovely to see you back on here, btw.
    January 7, 2014 at 2:54PM
    adewpearl: ROTFLMAO. It is super lovely to see you back!!
    January 7, 2014 at 2:59PM
    IndianaIrish: LMAO!! Boy, this site has missed you so much. Hope you're back.
    January 7, 2014 at 4:31PM
    Joy Graham: LOL!!! Glad to see you back :)
    January 7, 2014 at 4:52PM
    nancyjam: That's funny. You brightened up my day. So glad to see you back. Hope all is well.
    January 7, 2014 at 5:09PM
    flippant: Hahahaha!!!
    January 7, 2014 at 6:33PM
    nor84: Welcome back!
    January 8, 2014 at 11:08AM
    rama devi: PS--Yes welcome back! You were missed
    January 8, 2014 at 11:26AM
    LadyCosgrove: Oh My Goodness! It's good to see that immense humour again. x
    February 19, 2014 at 8:58AM