• Pantry Peril

    Pantry Peril

    Animal Crackers Club
    from 14 reviews.
    General  Poetry

  • Harry Hippo

    Harry Hippo

    An Acrostic Decima for Potlatch Poetry
    from 31 reviews.
    Children  Poetry

  • If I . . .

    If I . . .

    A Finoacci Spiral Poem for Potlatch Poetry
    from 21 reviews.
    General  Poetry


damommy:

Exercise for People Over 60

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room a ech side.

With a 5-lb. potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day, you?ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato bags. Then try 50-lb. potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can life a 100-lb. potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I?m at this level).

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.


    June Sargent: You always manage to get a chuckle out of me - you got me at the end! Keep them coming - we need to laugh more these days...


    -
    damommy: I'm so glad you like them. I like posting them. You're right. We need laughs these days more than ever. Thank you. -
    mrsmajor: Yvonne, you got me that time...until the ending...We all need to laugh these days..keep them coming...lol -


damommy:

You know where the general keeps his armies?




Up his sleevies.




    mrsmajor:
    Under the shoulder pads in his jacket.... -


damommy:
I'm officially old. I just spent ten minutes chasing an eye floater with a fly swatter.


    sandramitchell: LOL! Yvonne, you are so funny! It took me a moment to 'get' it, but then I howled with laughter! :)) -
    LIJ Red: My eye doc said "The critters were always there, you just couldn't see 'em for the cataracts." -


damommy:

My cleaning lady just called and told me she will be working from home and will send me instructions on what to do.

    mrsmajor: Well, with those instructions I'd do the job myself and fire her...forever... -
    Jannypan (Jan) : Thanks for the laugh1 She sounds like MollyMade her living and has no more giving. -


damommy:
I see people around my age mountain climbing. I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance!

    mrsmajor: Ha ha, I'm lucky to be able to stand up, and even try!... -
    RJN: at a loss for words....lol -
    Gypsymooncat: I also view that as a major achievement. The undies that is lol! Love your profile thoughts! -
    DR DIP: I like doing the Mr Bean trick lol -


damommy:
To go to the grocery store, they said a mask and gloves were enough. They lied! Everyone else had clothes on!

    Jannypan (Jan) : Quick, grab a roll of paper towels to cover . . . oh well, nice thought . . . -
    juliaSjames: Love your wit! Humour is the best antidote for stress. -
    Jen Vasquez: That was a good one... I imagined the whole thing... I -
    mrsmajor: Thanks, humor certainly has a place in our lives, especially now, that was a good one. -
    damommy: I'm so glad you all enjoyed this. -


damommy:

8:00 p.m. is now the official time to remove your day pajamas and put on your night pajamas.

    Jen Vasquez: Yessss.... You are absolutely right!! Pajamas for the day... A pair for the afternoon/evening and then put on my favorite ones for bed time -


damommy: During this quarantine, my thoughts go out for all those poor married men who've spent months telling the wife, "I'll do that when I have time."

    sandramitchell: LOL!! You should see the list I've given my husband! He has nowhere to hide, lol. -
    DR DIP: dont forget the line by the wives 'not tonight honey I don't have the time or the inclination" could be a lot of trade offs i'd say haha

    My list is over a foolscap long but the surf has been good lately lol -


damommy:

Please forgive me if I don't get any reviewing done for a few days. I injured my left hand yesterday and typing is very difficult using one hand.

    mrsmajor: Take Care, I hope all goes well for you...
    Blessings...Victoria -
    lyenochka: Totally understand, Yvonne! Please take care of your hand! ♥ -
    lyenochka: Totally understand, Yvonne! Please take care of your hand! ♥ -


damommy:

I shot a turkey yesterday. It scared the heck out of the other customers at the meat counter.

    DR DIP: I went fishing and got a lot of bites lol -


damommy:

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. Okay, FINE. It was a pizza. I ate a pizza.



damommy:

When I start to sing, my family goes out and does some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

    mrsmajor: Why do they do that, Yvonne, are you an Opera singer? lol -
    Gypsymooncat: When I start to sing, my partner takes the dog for a walk... -
    Gypsymooncat: When I start to sing, my partner takes the dog for a walk... -
    Gypsymooncat: When I start to sing, my partner takes the dog for a walk... -


damommy:

Q: How do you make antifreeze?

A: You steal her pajamas.

    Ideasaregems-Dawn: Put her outside without a coat-- in winter-- then douse her with water. :) LOL. -
    DR DIP: Don't put her near a radiator -


damommy:

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed. I never knew they worked.

    DR DIP: hehe you're funny Yvonne
    Suppose I should be careful what I wish for around here. -
    Gypsymooncat: Hahahaha, even though I got along with my ex-mother in law most of the time, sometimes I wished for a working wishing well! This made me laugh out loud! -
    sandramitchell: LOL, Yvonne you curl my up laughing, you are so funny!! LOL xxx -


damommy:

The daffodils have buds and I expect snow any day. It always happens that way, what I call the Daffodil and Snow Tire Festival. lol.

    EveLovell: hahaha ? you are funny. I read this the other day but didn't get it. Today, the penny has dropped, lol. Have a good day, Eve. -


damommy:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.



damommy:

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

    EveLovell: hahahahah ? love it! I love jokes. You have to be careful though, I have been known to get it wrong. I will add one below for you... Eve. -
    EveLovell: Sorry about spelling your name wrong, I thought it would just go below your comment. -


damommy: ?Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.?
? Anonymous.
    DR DIP: "The present is the future of the past"

    dipi lama -


damommy:

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

    Bicpen: ... dont forget one to turn it on ... -


damommy: When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, 'Strip down, facing me.'

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as he instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out he was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!

I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.

I still don't think I looked that bad.


    DR DIP: hehe too funny

    dip -
    Kerry Robinson: Haha-ha😂🤣🤣
    That?s hilarious, I can?t stop laughing. -
    Katelynn Magee: hahaha. i have to help my mom insert her card all the time this is too funny! -
    damommy: Thanks to you all. I'm so glad you found it as funny as I did. -
    mrsmajor: Ha Ha that's the funniest think I've heard in a while...LOL -
    D.F. Wood: OMG, you had me going. I was wondering "WHAT". You have made my day by bringing me a smile. Thank you. -
    sandramitchell: LOL!! Yvonne you are soooo funny, the twist at the end had me screeching with laughter!! I really believed you for a while there! Lol. -


damommy: If you ever see me running, run like hell, too. I?m far too lazy to be running without a good reason.


damommy: The person who thought it?s a good idea to put the light switch outside of the bathroom clearly didn?t have any siblings.
    Kerry Robinson: That's really funny. lol
    I for some weird reason have one to the bathroom ceiling light in my kitchen. There is another in the bathroom which is for lights above the vanity. It's so strange.

    -


damommy: I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
    sandramitchell: LOL! I have the same problem, Yvonne, it's so frustrating, isn't it? lol!!! -


damommy: Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 1 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife."

    Ms. Snyder: HAHAHAHAHA - I absolutely loved this joke! Cheers -
    Bro0ksi8: That is just tooooooo funny. -


damommy: A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster! The offspring were the laughingstock of the community.

    sandramitchell: LOL!!!! What are you on, Yvonne?? I'd like some of it? LOL! -


damommy: Don?t bother walking a mile in my shoes, that would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head, that?ll freak you right out.
    EveLovell: hahaahah love it, damommy, and as for my brain, ditto, lol -


damommy: Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere that makes your heart race and changes you forever . . . we call these people cops.
    Bro0ksi8: Especially, when you are driving your husbands car and you can't remember where the registration is located. -


damommy: I asked my son if he'd seen my newspaper. He told me that newspapers are old school. He said people use tablets and iPads today, and handed me his iPad. That fly didn't stand a chance.



damommy: Check out scholarship for Pantygynt's poetry class!!! Go to the 'Clubs' tab under 'Social' tab.


damommy: I had a really bad day yesterday.

First, my ex got run over by a bus.

Then, I got fired from my job as a bus driver.
    damommy: Thanks for reading this. I'm glad it gave you a laugh. -


damommy: Last night, I dreamed I was walking on the beach. I guess that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
    alf collier: Oh wow, hope that was sand between your toes!! -


damommy: We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
- Rita Rudner
    jlsavell: So cute, you will love those little critters. I have a few. -


damommy: A bowl of rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well, those 2,000 little sticks need something to hold them together like 2,000 chocolate chip cookies. You know 1 to 1 correlation. -
    JLR: I have resubmitted the free verse with revisions JLR (Jim) -


damommy: I just talked with our good friend Douglas Paul. He's determined to be up and about soon. His attitude is an inspiration! Let's pray that he will.


damommy: They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
    Adri7enne: I would have predeceased you by several years. -


damommy: Why do sea gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels.


damommy: The police came around last night and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even have bikes!


damommy: 10 FUN FACTS

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your
tongue out.
4. You just tried No. 3.
6. When you did No. 3, you realized it's possible, only
you look like a dog.
7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled.
8. You skipped No. 5.
9. You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
10. Share this with your friends to have some fun, too!

    phill doran: ho, ho! that is brilliant... (i just watch somebody else do it, exactly as written. pffft, people...) -
    Gloria ....: How did you know?! I did try number 3. LOL -
    damommy: Don't feel bad. I tried it, too. lol -
    Ideasaregems-Dawn: Hahaha. Gotcha. I couldn't try #3--I wouldn't chance it with this cold.(*grin*) -
    sandramitchell: LOL!!! I did everything that it said I would! And so did my husband! That had me howling with laughter! -


damommy: A Police Officer came to my house and asked where I'd been between 5 and 6. He seemed a bit irritated when I answered, "Kindergarten."
    lyenochka: Lol! Thanks for the giggles, Yvonne! -
    Pam (respa): Ha, Ha. This appeals to my sense of humor!!😊 -


damommy: I'm bored. I think I'll go to mall, find a parking spot, and sit in my car with the reverse lights on.
    Gloria ....: Haaaa, that would definitely cause some fun when parking is premium. :) -
    WryWriter: Oh...you do have a cruel streak. LOL! LOL! -


damommy: Just burned 2,000 calories. That?s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap!


    mrsmajor: I'm so glad you woke up in time...I bet You won't do that again....lol -
    WryWriter: I can see this becoming a new weight loss fad. "How to burn 2000 calories without leaving the couch! Send $9.99 to P.O. Box 'Quick Burn', Jiggling Bootie, Ca. 55555" -
    Sarkems: Great. Now I want brownies. -
    damommy: Oh, the power of suggestion. Now, I do, too. hahahaha -


damommy: I hate it when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
    WryWriter: I'd say neither side deserves an advocate. They shouldn't be arguing in public! LOL! -
    DR DIP: Suppose that's the same on here hey. Yvonne
    Sometimes I wish people knew the full story and not just judge someone on heresay and rumour. and know first hand the facts.

    Thanks for posting Yvonne

    xdip -


damommy: I just spoke to Douglas Paul's son. Douglas is back in the hospital. Brett, the son, said there were indications that it go could either way. We'll pray it goes in his favor. Douglas has been a good friend to many on FS.
    sandramitchell: Oh, No, not Douglas as well! I'll keep him in my prayers. What a sad day this has turned out to be. He was a great friend and I've missed him loads. If you hear more, let us know, want you? Thanks for passing this on. Yvonne. xxx -
    davisr (Rhonda): Oh my! My prayers are with both families, and these on the heels of losing Mikey a few months ago. -
    damommy: It's been a bad year for losing friends. Still, Douglas may rally. I wouldn't be surprised if he does. His great attitude has carried him far past what the doctors predicted. If I hear more, I'll certainly share it. -


damommy: Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking its time and getting to know everyone personally.
    Thomas Bowling: Insanity is hereditary.

    You get it from your kids. -

    CD Richards: LOL How true... well, almost. In reality, mom's too busy on her cellphone to notice what they're eating. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Not Saved by the Bell! finished second in the contest "100 Word Story"

    damommy: We should form a club. hahaha -
    Angela Hayes: I was classed as a minor, but because of my job my pocket money was too much...lol -
    mrsmajor: It's much easier being an innocent kid...that's for me...this grown up thing is just too hard... -
    sandramitchell: I don't like ageing, either. too many things start going wrong. At least if you are an old car you can have a good service and be able to carry on zooming around! You can't do that with a zimmer frame! -
    DR DIP: Age is a state of mind Yvonne

    xx -


FanStory wrote to damommy: You Can't Fool Mother Baker finished first in the contest "Every Story Has A Beginning"
    Jannypan (Jan) : CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WELL-DESERVED WIN, YVONNE!
    (three's a crowd, right?) Jan


    -
    damommy: Thank you, Jan and Gareth. I never thought I'd make it to the top. How exciting!

    Love the kittens. -
    Sarkems: Well done. A worthy winner, indeed. -
    damommy: Thank you, Sarkems. I'm sorry, I don't know your name. I appreciate your congratulations.

    Yvonne -


FanStory wrote to damommy: The Final Tally finished second in the contest "Sonnet Poetry Contest"
    MissMerri: A heartfelt congratulations to you for this wonderful sonnet taking second place. -
    judiverse: Congratulations on finishing second in the sonnet contest. Great Work! judiverse -
    damommy: I accidentally deleted the messages from Giraffman and Sarkems. I'm so sorry. Sometimes, my fingers get away from me. -


damommy: It seems someone has created a Hotmail account using my name, and are contacting everyone in my contact list. If you get anything from yuzzell@hotmail.com, it is NOT me. I'm so sorry this is happening, and I'm taking whatever steps I can to stop it. Thank you for understanding.
    WryWriter: Keep an eye on your bank account. Sounds fishy to me. -
    nor84: You should probably let Tom know about this, if you haven't done that already. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: I Stand Forgotten finished third in the contest "Rhyme-horse/horses"

    sandramitchell: LOL!! That is so funny, Yvonne, and congratulations!! :)) -
    MissMerri: Hahahaha! Are you sure you didn't have some help? Love this... and your delightful sense of humor! -

    Tootie: Hilarious! Thank you! :) -
    WryWriter: That sign is priceless!!! LOL! -
    robyn corum: THANK YOU SO MUCH! That's the best thing I've seen all day and it made me so happy... deeeeep down HEART happy. And I had to take a pic and pass it on to my mother AND my mother-in-law. I couldn't get to church services this morning and this just helped SO much. Hugs, hugs, hugs!!! -
    sandramitchell: That is sooooo funny! LOL! What a good way to start the day, wetting your plants!! LOL. x -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Life finished first in the contest "FREE VERSE !"
    alf collier: Heaps of congratulations, my friend!! This was a fantastic write!! -
    Irish Rain: Congratulations Miss Yvonne, got my vote! -
    damommy: Thank you, each and every one. -
    l.raven: CONGRATULATIONS my sweet friend...a vote well deserved...love Linda xxoo -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Love This Day! finished second in the contest "Kyrielle poetry"
    BeasPeas: Congratulations on placing in the contest. Marilyn -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Congratulations! Simplicity won the contest "I Can't"
    judiverse: Congratulations on your great contest win. judi -
    Dean Kuch:
    CONGRATULATIONS, Yvonne!
    photo skeleton-animated-gif-8_zpsgszwsxnb1_zpsqts5abyo.gif
    ~Dean -
    Ulla: Yvonne, this is so well deserved. Congratulations!!! -
    damommy: You're all so kind to send me congratulations! I appreciate it so much. Thank you for your support. -
    Mrs. KT: Beautiful, Yvonne...
    Congratulations!

    ~diane -
    krys123: Congratulations, Damommy
    I'm happy for you
    Alx -
    tfawcus: Congratulations! A lovely poem. -
    BeasPeas: Congratulations, Yvonne, on your win. Great job. Marilyn -
    Phyllis Stewart: Congratulations! Superb poem in every way. Definitely deserved the win! :) -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Congratulations! November 2018 Recognized Writer!
    Ulla: Wow, Congratulation!!! If anybody deserves this then it's you. I'm so happy for you, Yvonne. Ulla xxx -
    michaelcahill: Whoo Hooo! Who says nice gals don't finish first? So happy for you. Much deserved. :)) -
    Dean Kuch: Well it's about time if you ask me, Yvonne.
    Congratulations, so well deserved!
    -
    damommy: Are they sure this was meant for me????? I'm stunned. I appreciate all your lovely messages. Thank you for your support ever since I've been on FS. Yvonne -
    judester: Bravo you. Congratulations on your award. Cheers, j -
    IndianaIrish: Congratulations on this outstanding FanStory recognition! -
    Pam (respa): Congratulations on being the Nov. Recognized Writer. Very well deserved. -
    JennaG: This is awesome! Congratulations to you, Yvonne! :) -
    damommy: Everyone has been so gracious. Thank you all for your friendship and support. I love it here! -
    Pam (respa): Congratulations for this special honor. You are very deserving, as you add a lot to FS with
    your creative efforts. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Forgotten finished second in the contest "CHAIN RHYME"
    Ulla: Congratulation!! Well deserved. You know where I was on this. :))) -
    damommy: Awww, y'all are so sweet. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Wally Weasel's Vacation finished second in the contest "Write Your Best Children's Poem"
    michaelcahill: A win to be proud of in one tough field of exceptional writers. Congrats!! :)) -
    damommy: Thank you so much for your congratulations, Jan and Michael. I appreciate it. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Little Buccaneers finished third in the contest "swap quatrain"


damommy: I want to thank the Committee for choosing my story in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. Also, the lovely people who sent me congratulations. I was never so surprised, and I'm tickled pink! Thank you, everyone.
    Ulla: Congratulations!!! I loved the story. Ulla:))) -
    BeasPeas: Hi Yvonne. Congratulations on your win. Marilyn -
    joycetreasures: Congratulations on your win! DaMommy!!! Great job!! -
    Adri7enne: Congratulations on a well-deserved win. Great little story!
    -
    Pam (respa): Congratulations on your win in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. I liked your story a lot! A good sense of humor. -
    l.raven: Hi Yvonne, CONGRATULATIONS sweet girl on a sooooo deserved win...I am so happy for you...love Linda xxoo -
    Pantygynt: I am s pleased this story won. The concept was just brilliant. Congratulations. -
    JennaG: Congratulations to you! I loved your story! :) -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Congratulations! The Kept Appointment won the contest "Dribble Flash Fiction"
    Irish Rain: YAY!! Congratulations Miss Yvonne!!!! -
    Sugarray77: Way to go!! Great Dribble entry. Congrats!! -
    krys123: Congratulations, Damommy, for your elegant win
    Alx -
    judiverse: Congratulations on your great contest win. I loved your story. judi -
    damommy: I want to thank the Committee for choosing my story in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. Also, the lovely people who sent me congratulations. I was never so surprised, and I'm tickled pink! Thank you, everyone. -
    michaelcahill: I can verify, this is a TRUE story. LOL

    Congrats! So original and funny. :)) -
    rspoet: Congratulations! Always trust a dog more than its owner. Well done. -
    Robbie Yates: Congratulations! Such a great flash fiction piece - well done! -


FanStory wrote to damommy: The Reason's Simple finished second in the contest "Humorous Dialog "
    judiverse: Congratulations on your excellent second place showing in the Humorous Dialog contest. judiverse -

    Ideasaregems-Dawn: This spider looks a lot like a room-mate I once had who went missing... (*evil grin*) What happened to you, Betty Boo-s? (For those who don't know my twisted sense of humor, I'm joking, of course... Or am I? Muwahaha!):)) -
    damommy: I, too, have a odd sense of humor, Dawn. I totally understand. LOL
    -
    BeasPeas: You may not believe this, but I DO think of things like that. I hate killing anything and try to carry it outside is I can. Two exceptions--mosquitoes and ticks. Marilyn -

    giraffmang: Technically this would mean that the singularity had been reached and that God is in fact a giant self-aware Artificial Intelligence... -


FanStory wrote to damommy: The Tiny Leaf finished second in the contest "Rhyming Poem"
    Jannypan (Jan) : CONGRATULATIONS! A WELL-DESERVED WIN!
    -
    Mrs. KT: So beautiful!
    Congratulations! -
    damommy: Thank you! I'm so excited, and surprised. -
    JennaG: Congratulations to you! Your poem is wonderful! :) -
    damommy: Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm so excited to win second place. -


damommy: Pluviophile - a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.
    damommy: Thanks. I couldn't get the picture to load. -
    F. Wehr3: Oooooh man! Now I feel bad I punched someone the other day for calling me this. -
    Irish Rain: I LOVE rain. If it rained every day, I'd be thrilled!!! -
    damommy: Me, too!!!

    Don't you love Wehr3's reply? LOL -
    Irish Rain: Ha ha...well it DOES sound insulting, ha ha!!! -
    Jannypan (Jan) : I love, love, love rainy days. Five days out of 7 would be great with 2 partly cloudy days. -
    Delahay: So, you're saying I should NOT punch anyone who calls me this? -