• Weekly Rendezvous

    Weekly Rendezvous

    Free Verse
    from 21 reviews.
    General  Poetry

  • Dress Up

    Dress Up

    Fantasy form for Potlatch Poetry
    from 22 reviews.
    General  Poetry

  • The Case of the Pouting Cat

    The Case of the Pouting Cat

    Two incidents for Animal Crackers Club
    from 16 reviews.
    General  Non-Fiction


damommy: When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, 'Strip down, facing me.'

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as he instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out he was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!

I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.

I still don't think I looked that bad.


    DR DIP: hehe too funny

    dip -
    Kerry Robinson: Haha-ha😂🤣🤣
    That?s hilarious, I can?t stop laughing. -
    Katelynn Magee: hahaha. i have to help my mom insert her card all the time this is too funny! -
    damommy: Thanks to you all. I'm so glad you found it as funny as I did. -
    mrsmajor: Ha Ha that's the funniest think I've heard in a while...LOL -
    D.F. Wood: OMG, you had me going. I was wondering "WHAT". You have made my day by bringing me a smile. Thank you. -
    sandramitchell: LOL!! Yvonne you are soooo funny, the twist at the end had me screeching with laughter!! I really believed you for a while there! Lol. -


damommy: If you ever see me running, run like hell, too. I?m far too lazy to be running without a good reason.


damommy: The person who thought it?s a good idea to put the light switch outside of the bathroom clearly didn?t have any siblings.
    Kerry Robinson: That's really funny. lol
    I for some weird reason have one to the bathroom ceiling light in my kitchen. There is another in the bathroom which is for lights above the vanity. It's so strange.

    -


damommy: I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
    sandramitchell: LOL! I have the same problem, Yvonne, it's so frustrating, isn't it? lol!!! -


damommy: Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 1 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife."

    Ms. Snyder: HAHAHAHAHA - I absolutely loved this joke! Cheers -
    Bro0ksi8: That is just tooooooo funny. -


damommy: A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster! The offspring were the laughingstock of the community.

    sandramitchell: LOL!!!! What are you on, Yvonne?? I'd like some of it? LOL! -


damommy: Don?t bother walking a mile in my shoes, that would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head, that?ll freak you right out.
    EveLovell: hahaahah love it, damommy, and as for my brain, ditto, lol -


damommy: Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere that makes your heart race and changes you forever . . . we call these people cops.
    Bro0ksi8: Especially, when you are driving your husbands car and you can't remember where the registration is located. -


damommy: I asked my son if he'd seen my newspaper. He told me that newspapers are old school. He said people use tablets and iPads today, and handed me his iPad. That fly didn't stand a chance.



damommy: Check out scholarship for Pantygynt's poetry class!!! Go to the 'Clubs' tab under 'Social' tab.


damommy: I had a really bad day yesterday.

First, my ex got run over by a bus.

Then, I got fired from my job as a bus driver.
    damommy: Thanks for reading this. I'm glad it gave you a laugh. -


damommy: Last night, I dreamed I was walking on the beach. I guess that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
    alf collier: Oh wow, hope that was sand between your toes!! -


damommy: We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
- Rita Rudner
    jlsavell: So cute, you will love those little critters. I have a few. -


damommy: A bowl of rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.
    Jannypan (Jan) : Well, those 2,000 little sticks need something to hold them together like 2,000 chocolate chip cookies. You know 1 to 1 correlation. -
    JLR: I have resubmitted the free verse with revisions JLR (Jim) -


damommy: I just talked with our good friend Douglas Paul. He's determined to be up and about soon. His attitude is an inspiration! Let's pray that he will.


damommy: They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
    Adri7enne: I would have predeceased you by several years. -


damommy: Why do sea gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels.


damommy: The police came around last night and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even have bikes!


damommy: 10 FUN FACTS

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your
tongue out.
4. You just tried No. 3.
6. When you did No. 3, you realized it's possible, only
you look like a dog.
7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled.
8. You skipped No. 5.
9. You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
10. Share this with your friends to have some fun, too!

    phill doran: ho, ho! that is brilliant... (i just watch somebody else do it, exactly as written. pffft, people...) -
    Gloria ....: How did you know?! I did try number 3. LOL -
    damommy: Don't feel bad. I tried it, too. lol -
    Ideasaregems-Dawn: Hahaha. Gotcha. I couldn't try #3--I wouldn't chance it with this cold.(*grin*) -
    sandramitchell: LOL!!! I did everything that it said I would! And so did my husband! That had me howling with laughter! -


damommy: A Police Officer came to my house and asked where I'd been between 5 and 6. He seemed a bit irritated when I answered, "Kindergarten."
    lyenochka: Lol! Thanks for the giggles, Yvonne! -
    Pam (respa): Ha, Ha. This appeals to my sense of humor!!😊 -


damommy: I'm bored. I think I'll go to mall, find a parking spot, and sit in my car with the reverse lights on.
    Gloria ....: Haaaa, that would definitely cause some fun when parking is premium. :) -
    WryWriter: Oh...you do have a cruel streak. LOL! LOL! -


damommy: Just burned 2,000 calories. That?s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap!


    mrsmajor: I'm so glad you woke up in time...I bet You won't do that again....lol -
    WryWriter: I can see this becoming a new weight loss fad. "How to burn 2000 calories without leaving the couch! Send $9.99 to P.O. Box 'Quick Burn', Jiggling Bootie, Ca. 55555" -
    Sarkems: Great. Now I want brownies. -
    damommy: Oh, the power of suggestion. Now, I do, too. hahahaha -


damommy: I hate it when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
    WryWriter: I'd say neither side deserves an advocate. They shouldn't be arguing in public! LOL! -
    DR DIP: Suppose that's the same on here hey. Yvonne
    Sometimes I wish people knew the full story and not just judge someone on heresay and rumour. and know first hand the facts.

    Thanks for posting Yvonne

    xdip -


damommy: I just spoke to Douglas Paul's son. Douglas is back in the hospital. Brett, the son, said there were indications that it go could either way. We'll pray it goes in his favor. Douglas has been a good friend to many on FS.
    sandramitchell: Oh, No, not Douglas as well! I'll keep him in my prayers. What a sad day this has turned out to be. He was a great friend and I've missed him loads. If you hear more, let us know, want you? Thanks for passing this on. Yvonne. xxx -
    davisr (Rhonda): Oh my! My prayers are with both families, and these on the heels of losing Mikey a few months ago. -
    damommy: It's been a bad year for losing friends. Still, Douglas may rally. I wouldn't be surprised if he does. His great attitude has carried him far past what the doctors predicted. If I hear more, I'll certainly share it. -


damommy: Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking its time and getting to know everyone personally.
    Thomas Bowling: Insanity is hereditary.

    You get it from your kids. -

    CD Richards: LOL How true... well, almost. In reality, mom's too busy on her cellphone to notice what they're eating. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Not Saved by the Bell! finished second in the contest "100 Word Story"

    damommy: We should form a club. hahaha -
    Angela Hayes: I was classed as a minor, but because of my job my pocket money was too much...lol -
    mrsmajor: It's much easier being an innocent kid...that's for me...this grown up thing is just too hard... -
    sandramitchell: I don't like ageing, either. too many things start going wrong. At least if you are an old car you can have a good service and be able to carry on zooming around! You can't do that with a zimmer frame! -
    DR DIP: Age is a state of mind Yvonne

    xx -


FanStory wrote to damommy: You Can't Fool Mother Baker finished first in the contest "Every Story Has A Beginning"
    Jannypan (Jan) : CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WELL-DESERVED WIN, YVONNE!
    (three's a crowd, right?) Jan


    -
    damommy: Thank you, Jan and Gareth. I never thought I'd make it to the top. How exciting!

    Love the kittens. -
    Sarkems: Well done. A worthy winner, indeed. -
    damommy: Thank you, Sarkems. I'm sorry, I don't know your name. I appreciate your congratulations.

    Yvonne -


FanStory wrote to damommy: The Final Tally finished second in the contest "Sonnet Poetry Contest"
    MissMerri: A heartfelt congratulations to you for this wonderful sonnet taking second place. -
    judiverse: Congratulations on finishing second in the sonnet contest. Great Work! judiverse -
    damommy: I accidentally deleted the messages from Giraffman and Sarkems. I'm so sorry. Sometimes, my fingers get away from me. -


damommy: It seems someone has created a Hotmail account using my name, and are contacting everyone in my contact list. If you get anything from yuzzell@hotmail.com, it is NOT me. I'm so sorry this is happening, and I'm taking whatever steps I can to stop it. Thank you for understanding.
    WryWriter: Keep an eye on your bank account. Sounds fishy to me. -
    nor84: You should probably let Tom know about this, if you haven't done that already. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: I Stand Forgotten finished third in the contest "Rhyme-horse/horses"

    sandramitchell: LOL!! That is so funny, Yvonne, and congratulations!! :)) -
    MissMerri: Hahahaha! Are you sure you didn't have some help? Love this... and your delightful sense of humor! -

    Tootie: Hilarious! Thank you! :) -
    WryWriter: That sign is priceless!!! LOL! -
    robyn corum: THANK YOU SO MUCH! That's the best thing I've seen all day and it made me so happy... deeeeep down HEART happy. And I had to take a pic and pass it on to my mother AND my mother-in-law. I couldn't get to church services this morning and this just helped SO much. Hugs, hugs, hugs!!! -
    sandramitchell: That is sooooo funny! LOL! What a good way to start the day, wetting your plants!! LOL. x -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Life finished first in the contest "FREE VERSE !"
    alf collier: Heaps of congratulations, my friend!! This was a fantastic write!! -
    Irish Rain: Congratulations Miss Yvonne, got my vote! -
    damommy: Thank you, each and every one. -
    l.raven: CONGRATULATIONS my sweet friend...a vote well deserved...love Linda xxoo -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Love This Day! finished second in the contest "Kyrielle poetry"
    BeasPeas: Congratulations on placing in the contest. Marilyn -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Congratulations! Simplicity won the contest "I Can't"
    judiverse: Congratulations on your great contest win. judi -
    Dean Kuch:
    CONGRATULATIONS, Yvonne!
    photo skeleton-animated-gif-8_zpsgszwsxnb1_zpsqts5abyo.gif
    ~Dean -
    Ulla: Yvonne, this is so well deserved. Congratulations!!! -
    damommy: You're all so kind to send me congratulations! I appreciate it so much. Thank you for your support. -
    Mrs. KT: Beautiful, Yvonne...
    Congratulations!

    ~diane -
    krys123: Congratulations, Damommy
    I'm happy for you
    Alx -
    tfawcus: Congratulations! A lovely poem. -
    BeasPeas: Congratulations, Yvonne, on your win. Great job. Marilyn -
    Phyllis Stewart: Congratulations! Superb poem in every way. Definitely deserved the win! :) -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Congratulations! November 2018 Recognized Writer!
    Ulla: Wow, Congratulation!!! If anybody deserves this then it's you. I'm so happy for you, Yvonne. Ulla xxx -
    michaelcahill: Whoo Hooo! Who says nice gals don't finish first? So happy for you. Much deserved. :)) -
    Dean Kuch: Well it's about time if you ask me, Yvonne.
    Congratulations, so well deserved!
    -
    damommy: Are they sure this was meant for me????? I'm stunned. I appreciate all your lovely messages. Thank you for your support ever since I've been on FS. Yvonne -
    judester: Bravo you. Congratulations on your award. Cheers, j -
    IndianaIrish: Congratulations on this outstanding FanStory recognition! -
    Pam (respa): Congratulations on being the Nov. Recognized Writer. Very well deserved. -
    JennaG: This is awesome! Congratulations to you, Yvonne! :) -
    damommy: Everyone has been so gracious. Thank you all for your friendship and support. I love it here! -
    Pam (respa): Congratulations for this special honor. You are very deserving, as you add a lot to FS with
    your creative efforts. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Forgotten finished second in the contest "CHAIN RHYME"
    Ulla: Congratulation!! Well deserved. You know where I was on this. :))) -
    damommy: Awww, y'all are so sweet. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Wally Weasel's Vacation finished second in the contest "Write Your Best Children's Poem"
    michaelcahill: A win to be proud of in one tough field of exceptional writers. Congrats!! :)) -
    damommy: Thank you so much for your congratulations, Jan and Michael. I appreciate it. -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Little Buccaneers finished third in the contest "swap quatrain"


damommy: I want to thank the Committee for choosing my story in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. Also, the lovely people who sent me congratulations. I was never so surprised, and I'm tickled pink! Thank you, everyone.
    Ulla: Congratulations!!! I loved the story. Ulla:))) -
    BeasPeas: Hi Yvonne. Congratulations on your win. Marilyn -
    joycetreasures: Congratulations on your win! DaMommy!!! Great job!! -
    Adri7enne: Congratulations on a well-deserved win. Great little story!
    -
    Pam (respa): Congratulations on your win in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. I liked your story a lot! A good sense of humor. -
    l.raven: Hi Yvonne, CONGRATULATIONS sweet girl on a sooooo deserved win...I am so happy for you...love Linda xxoo -
    Pantygynt: I am s pleased this story won. The concept was just brilliant. Congratulations. -
    JennaG: Congratulations to you! I loved your story! :) -


FanStory wrote to damommy: Congratulations! The Kept Appointment won the contest "Dribble Flash Fiction"
    Irish Rain: YAY!! Congratulations Miss Yvonne!!!! -
    Sugarray77: Way to go!! Great Dribble entry. Congrats!! -
    krys123: Congratulations, Damommy, for your elegant win
    Alx -
    judiverse: Congratulations on your great contest win. I loved your story. judi -
    damommy: I want to thank the Committee for choosing my story in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. Also, the lovely people who sent me congratulations. I was never so surprised, and I'm tickled pink! Thank you, everyone. -
    michaelcahill: I can verify, this is a TRUE story. LOL

    Congrats! So original and funny. :)) -
    rspoet: Congratulations! Always trust a dog more than its owner. Well done. -
    Robbie Yates: Congratulations! Such a great flash fiction piece - well done! -


FanStory wrote to damommy: The Reason's Simple finished second in the contest "Humorous Dialog "
    judiverse: Congratulations on your excellent second place showing in the Humorous Dialog contest. judiverse -

    Ideasaregems-Dawn: This spider looks a lot like a room-mate I once had who went missing... (*evil grin*) What happened to you, Betty Boo-s? (For those who don't know my twisted sense of humor, I'm joking, of course... Or am I? Muwahaha!):)) -
    damommy: I, too, have a odd sense of humor, Dawn. I totally understand. LOL
    -
    BeasPeas: You may not believe this, but I DO think of things like that. I hate killing anything and try to carry it outside is I can. Two exceptions--mosquitoes and ticks. Marilyn -

    giraffmang: Technically this would mean that the singularity had been reached and that God is in fact a giant self-aware Artificial Intelligence... -


FanStory wrote to damommy: The Tiny Leaf finished second in the contest "Rhyming Poem"
    Jannypan (Jan) : CONGRATULATIONS! A WELL-DESERVED WIN!
    -
    Mrs. KT: So beautiful!
    Congratulations! -
    damommy: Thank you! I'm so excited, and surprised. -
    JennaG: Congratulations to you! Your poem is wonderful! :) -
    damommy: Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm so excited to win second place. -


damommy: Pluviophile - a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.
    damommy: Thanks. I couldn't get the picture to load. -
    F. Wehr3: Oooooh man! Now I feel bad I punched someone the other day for calling me this. -
    Irish Rain: I LOVE rain. If it rained every day, I'd be thrilled!!! -
    damommy: Me, too!!!

    Don't you love Wehr3's reply? LOL -
    Irish Rain: Ha ha...well it DOES sound insulting, ha ha!!! -
    Jannypan (Jan) : I love, love, love rainy days. Five days out of 7 would be great with 2 partly cloudy days. -
    Delahay: So, you're saying I should NOT punch anyone who calls me this? -