Brabazon: After toiling and coiling I have finally been published. The story, which started here at factory is titled, The Third Eye, and is published by the Kalahari Review. Thanks for all the support.


Brabazon: If you cannot travel, read novels set afar. They take you to towns, cities & villages, everywhere around the world.
    mrsmajor: I have travelled many places, in this way...and there is also a channel on Television that visits many place, and I have learned a great deal from watching this station...It is called "Create"...also one can learn their kind of foods, and how to cook them...I have enjoyed both reading different books, and viewing this station...and now consider myself a world traveller...if not personally, but through the words of another...I have been to most of the Caribbean Islands, but that's as far as these old bones have visited...You have offered a good suggestion to those that want to see the world. -
    Brabazon: The story i am reading that prompted this profile view is set in the Carribean. I am learning about many islands, their physical settings,occupations,histories, politics, their races, the weather, strengths, challenges ... -


Brabazon: I joined Fanstory in April, 2014, and starting posting, some three months later. I joined to improve on my prose. I did not have poetry in mind, when I joined. But something let me to start reading poems. Two days ago, a poem of mind was published in a literary magazine. It is titled The Abyssinian God by Yiro Abari High. I will love it, if members, here, can follow the link to see the poem and, possibly, post a comment. This is the link: http://brittlepaper.com/2015/05/abyssinian-god-yiro-abari-high-african-poem-1/

Thanks
    michaelcahill: A great piece. Congratulations.
    Loved the publication and I recommend everyone give it a look! -


Brabazon: Except where you intend to build a plot-driven story, it would be a mistake to set a title and build a story that falls within the borders of that title.


Brabazon: Readers will always say, dont tell me, show me! it means they want something in the flow of the tale that helps avoid boredom, most notably dialogue. For me, the hurry to fit in dialogue into a story is the reason why my tales, sometimes, get stucked and abandoned like an old truck.
Sure, nothing good comes easy, but I am growing, here.
    nor84: Show, don't tell isn't about dialogue, it's about the overall story.

    An example of "telling": John heard the man stalking him.

    An example of showing: There it was again. The sound of footsteps echoing his own. His heartbeat quickened. Somebody was tailing him. -


Brabazon: JZ must change the mindset of common South Africans. These attacks are totally strange and show that South Africans don't know their countrymen, also, live in other nations.
    DIS-illusioned: Indeed, indeed. This is at the very root of global conflict today.
    The world is holding its breath .... -


Brabazon: It seems the high percentage of EXCELLENT ratings, here, are subjective; people would not want to poison friendships. Friends are the greatest wealth, it appears.
    William Walz: Stepping on toes is a definite no-no. Truth be told the overwhelming number of posts are average at best, though by the reviews one would never think so. -


Brabazon: I sent my story, "Evil Woman", for publication. This is the note the editor of the literary magazine attached to the publication, after he turned it down.

Thank you for submitting 'Evil Woman'. Unfortunately, the story requires a lot more work before we can have another look at it.

Instead of going into the microscopic aspects, I would rather offer you some general structural feedback to start with:

"The story currently has two sections, which are in fact only related to one another superficially. The structure based on the plot is somewhat archaic. Today's market in literary fiction seeks stories with strong characterization to connect with readers at an emotional level. The short story format is too 'short' to explore major themes or follow multiple plot lines, much less to have a major point of view shift in the story as done here between the two sections.

My advice: the first part of the story is what you should focus on. The death of the baby and the emotional sorrow endured by the family is where the story power lies. Yes, Ebola is a necessary piece of information but weave that into the narrative through scenes involving the family and their exchange with the doctor, for example. There is no need to deliberately try to first mislead the reader. All the other material you have written down is really for you to understand the plot better and what happens, but it's not for the reader to read. Develop the first section by showing, and not telling the reader what happens. Take your time to unfold the drama. Use dialogue to good effect and resist the urge to over explain or fill in the blanks for the reader. Trust your readers that they are intelligent enough to know from the actions and dialogue what is happening.

I hope this helps. If you rework it along these lines, then you can resubmit it by email to us and we'll have another look.

Kind regards,"

I posted the story here and received a few reviews. I guess not much was done here, or that i did not promote my story enough to get enough views. My problem is that some of the suggestions he made remain unclear to me.

Brabazon
    pipersfancy: Wow! I think that is amazing that the editor sent you a detailed letter, outlining the specifics of what this publication is looking for and offering suggestions to help you get it into publishable form. His letter, on its own, makes a great deal of sense to me (and I may jot down the suggestions and apply them to my own work.) I haven't read your story, but will pop over and see if it is in your portfolio. -
    Brabazon: Thanks, pipersfancy.

    I have been wondering how you discovered this profile post, since profile posts don't pop up when one navigates the the most engaged pages of FS. You are God-sent!

    I think that the editor went beyond being "a mine faithfully" to being "a mine sincerely". He wants me to get published. I am lucky. -
    pipersfancy: Your comment isn't hidden or hard to find, Brabazon. It shows up on the "Profile Thoughts" under the "Community" button at the top of the page. I usually scroll through the "Profile Thoughts" at least once a day because I'm always interested to read what others are posting! By the way, I went under your portfolio to find your story, Evil Woman. I read and reviewed, and (hopefully!) I gave a bit of helpful feedback based on what I read in the Editor's letter to you! Cheers! -
    nor84: Anytime a publisher rejects with a personal note, be encouraged! They think you're good or they wouldn't do that.

    Most rejections are something like this: Sorry. Not for us.
    -


Brabazon: Thanks so much, for these great feedbacks. There will always be good men and women out there!


Brabazon: After writing a highly encrypted poem, i learnt a very important lesson: it makes no sense to write what you alone understands.
There are authors, here at FS, that i respect highly. Those authors, also, could not decode what I wrote. Seeing that, I felt like I have committed a crime.
I have sworn that such poems would have no place in my portfolio anymore.
    donaldww: Yes. Best save those tomes for the next Alan Turing. -
    LIJ Red: The most intricate concepts are usually best communicated by the plainest language -
    mrsmajor: I believe each of us write, as our heart tells us, I have been on this site for more then 10 years, and may never rise to any high level, mainly because I write as I feel, and not always the way some would like to read...
    That's why I am still here... -


Brabazon: I sometimmes see this when I post reviews: Á¡Improper call of this page.Á¡ What does it mean?
    kriver: thank you barb for the help I can't get the title to center if I use that advance thing it changes the font color automatically and I can't change it back Boy what a head ache I was litterally up all night when I posted it trying to fix it so it would be right no luck. Anyways thank you for the assist
    best regard,
    K River
    -
    Brabazon: When click takes you to the posting page, try to read bits of info on that page. There is a botton that asks: center page? Just select the ?yes? option. -
    Brabazon: When click takes you to the posting page, try to read bits of info on that page. There is a botton that asks: center page? Just select the ?yes? option. -


Brabazon: I got 5 stars left. Sorry, one is still learning here. What can I do with the stars? Are they to be used to reward helpful reviewers?
    michaelcahill: If you mean six star ratings. Those are given to works that you review that you find to be exceptional. Those are generally ones that really jump out at you and stand apart from the norm. For reviewers you get what we call the "Thumbs". After you read a review there's bar that says, "nominate reviewer". You can nominate six per month that you feel gave you really helpful reviews. -
    singmore: I just want to say I have sorrow for the deaths of students at Potiskum. This was over a week ago, but it stays in my mind. God bless you and yours. -


Brabazon: Thanks.


Brabazon: What is the significance of a Leprechaun certificate?
Brabazon.
    michaelcahill: When you attach it to one of your promoted pieces, it gives the reviewer a chance to get some extra goodies. An extra incentive to review. -


Brabazon: Are there instances where writers find leads to publishing from FS?
    nor84: Mainly, they learn their craft here and if they want traditional publishing, they submit to traditional publishers. Many self-publish. There are no traditional publishers haunting these hall. They have more work than they can handle. Always be careful if you seek to self-publish and check the name of the proposed published with editors and preditors website and query name of publisher plus the word scam. There are unsavory people out there. Many here self-publish through Smashwords, Book Bay or on Amazon. -


Brabazon: At what point does editing becomes personal opinion?
    michaelcahill: That is a great question. I suppose when the piece stops sounding like it was written by you. -
    Brabazon: Hahaha! I enclosed commas immediately after speech marks (British) and an fs member just said it has to be within the speech marks. He acted as though the first option is non-existent. Another reviewer suggested i break long sentences he had seen in my story as they are confusing. Others who read the same story said nothing about the lengthy sentences but instead placed fingers at other areas the felt needed revision. These led me to ask that question.
    Thank you. -


Brabazon: Sad that the currency barrier has made the upgrade of my status a steep rise. I cannot post but itÁŪll not be too long from now: not later than 3 days. I canÁŪt wait to be rated by some of the best writers this site has to offer. Here we have a collage of pen pals.


Brabazon: I wrote my first fiction and wanted it published but I was told to bring it up to the 21st century. I wanted their finger on specific portions that play up the 20th century but they donÁŪt do that. So I join FS. So I wonÁŪt take offence of objective criticism.