• Unanswered Call

    Unanswered Call

    trying to understand
    from 2 reviews.
    Commentary and Philosophy  Poetry

  • 500 Days--Where Did I Go Wrong?

    500 Days--Where Did I Go Wrong?

    song lyrics from the metal band in my head
    from 1 reviews.
    Song Lyrics  Poetry

  • Sometimes, Rarely

    Sometimes, Rarely

    Every once inba whioe
    from 3 reviews.
    Commentary and Philosophy  Poetry


FanStory wrote to Mike Stevens:
Unite! was posted today. It is a Milestone Post. Post number 4000!


Mike Stevens: Cannot believe how anyone views Trump as a 'normal' President, he's not a 'normal' person
    mrsmajor: trump's isn't normal, and I think many people know it...he's cruel, selfish and filled with his own sense of importance...those members of congress that prefer to adore him come from the same mindset... -
    Dean Kuch: HULK SMASH!

    Heh-heh-heh...
    ~Dean -
    Gypsy Blue Rose: You are right, Mike, he is not normal, he is abnormal. I think he only cares about himself and money. I am so afraid he is going to send people back to work too soon and many more people will die. He is stressing me out. -
    Kingsrookviii: LoL. I don't get it at all. He's done well and is attacked constantly. For God's sake, Biden is batshit loonie. -
    Lance S. Loria: It certainly is discouraging how polarized the country has become. We are all Americans. We should all be united as Americans. If we can?t agree on that, than what can we agree on? -
    The Mom/DarleneThomson: You are so right. God help us all. Mike, you really need to run for President. No joke. Blessings, Darlene -


Mike Stevens: I forget to check this very often, I see I've made a few people angry with my anti-Trump comments--one person even let me know I suck--thank you, I would have never known and continued to post my misguided crap--I--err--oh, that's right, I don't give a rip what they think!
    mrsmajor: You're not alone Mike S....but Its not stopping me from speaking my mind...not to hurt anyone, but trump's not someone I could ever respect...and I will let that be known whenever he does something that I find repulsive...nice seeinh you... -
    Scarbrems: You don't 'suck', except possibly on a boiled sweet. That's a very childish comment from somebody, and anyway, people are supposed to be reviewing the writing. If they don't agree with the politics of the piece, and can't critique it fairly as a piece of writing, then they shouldn't be commenting. Nor wrote something about that just recently in the reviewing thread. Whoever said this should take a look. -
    His Grayness: When you have pure rotten scumbag democrats to call to shame on every breath they take, why waste your time on Trump who has already done more good for America than any Crat in modern times! Oh! maybe you do agree with sanctuary cities, killing ICE and opening up America to every lowlife criminal south of the border so they can come in and join you in voting for more Crat Corruption??? -
    Gypsy Blue Rose: lol, trumpers are as crazy as Trump is... no worries, you don't suck. -


Mike Stevens: I've come to believe you can't have a rational debate with an irrational person


Mike Stevens: Doesn't the media ever get embarrassed showing Trump crap all fricking day? Surely, the reporters must cringe, 'Another one? You're s*****g me?'
    Mike Stevens: Boy I'm bat-spelling 1000 today-'hide the keyboard, kids, Daddy's been sniffing glue again!' -
    Jannypan (Jan) : They don't tire of it anymore like the multitude of Trump-bashing posts that appear all over this forum everyday. -
    Dean Kuch: With all due respect, ladies, anyone who disrespects another nation by calling it a sh!thole country deserves to be bashed.
    Just sayin'... -


Mike Stevens: Our president may be mentally unstable, but FOOTBALL is here, baby!--what must other countries think of our priorities?
    DR DIP: do you mean grid iron mike?
    In australia football is soccer
    rubgy league is like rugby union
    and we don't officially play grid iron -


Mike Stevens: Is it just me?
    William Walz: Reminds me of the guy who was told he had a split personality and was beside himself. -
    Mike Stevens:
    Adri7enne: ha, good guess, I think I matched two numbers once. The clerk at the store where I bought the ticket didn't buy my 1/3 of the prize money should be mine argument--hey, made sense to me! -
    Mike Stevens: Wa-wa, William, drum roll, can I get a drum roll here, please? -
    pome lover: Mr. Stevens, your short bio says you like comedy writing. I was hoping to find some of it but have found only your dissatisfaction with the President.
    Your latest piece popped up on the "Up Next" to be reviewed and after I read it I went to your portfolio looking for humor.
    I am not going to get into politics, but we, of a different persuasion spent 8 years being heartsick, but still kept our sense of humor, or tried to.
    I hope yours will return. I'd like to read it.
    Pome lover -


Mike Stevens:
pipersfancy: watch who you're calling a perv--oh yeah, guilty as charged!
    Mike Stevens:
    michaelcahill: nothing but the best for these amazing, talented owls! -
    Mike Stevens: Pome Lover--ouch, you really let me have it, it's a good thing I don't give a shit what you say, or care that I hurt your feelings. Otherwise, I'd be feeling pretty bad right now--I don't check this very often, so I realize this is a delayed 'I'm glad you're pissed' -


Mike Stevens:
michaelcahill: keep taking your medication, it's bound to kick in soon!
    Mike Stevens: Do that, but remember; NO operating heavy machinery! -
    DIS-illusioned: Not unless of course you're stoned or drunk out of your noggin. If so, do take that new tractor for a spin down Main Street, waving to the good folk as you whiz by. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'senslessreasoning'!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'malthoplove'!
    pipersfancy: Pour me a cold one, would 'ya? I love a tall glass of malt and hops... -
    Mike Stevens: When I think of all the money I wasted on TRYING to feel slightly dizzy, and now I get it for free; all the time? I love beer, but I no longer partake; so you'll have to enjoy for the both of us! -
    michaelcahill: This is someone who derives deep romantic attachments to those who play hopscotch while drinking a milkshake. -
    pipersfancy: I can't actually recall the last time I had a beer... playing a intense game of hopscotch while drinking a shake... now that's a whole other story! -
    Kingsland: Definition of Malthoplove
    A milk shake that makes one desire having sex after having drank it...
    Or the best sexual drinks ever devised. Made with chocolate ice cream, with a cherry on top... -
    Mike Stevens:
    michaelcahill: that sounds a lot like a 'sex-shake!' -
    Mike Stevens: Kingsland: yours is the reply I gave to Michael Cahill, and I'll give you the reply I meant for him; nothing says romance like Twister for your feet! -


Mike Stevens: DIS-illusioned: ah, no comment!
    Mike Stevens: michaelcahill: ha, ha, woo; and I apologize! -


Mike Stevens: In honor of Michael C and everything Scottish, today's word is'kiltogram'!
    DIS-illusioned: The standard scientific measure of the closet sissy-ness of all men, especially the Herculean kind--'kiltogram'.
    Last I was weighed, I was over 200 kiltograms. What does that say about me? (Don't you dare answer that!) -
    michaelcahill: That's what they call it in Scotland when a stiff breeze blows one's kilt up in front of one's grandmother. -
    michaelcahill: Michael Patrick O'Cahill
    I'm a worthless potato eating drunken Irishman. You should apologize to Scotsmen everywhere!! -
    pipersfancy: Ya, Mike! What gives? I'm the Scottish one... what's with giving any credit to Mikey over there?!? PIPERSFANCY... HELLO???? (and, this after I posted a nice little poem with a picture proving I actually play the pipes...) Now... excuse me while I go address the hagis, play a lament, and drink scotch. Slaint! -
    pipersfancy: (By the way... you're a wee bit early on the Scottish reference. Robert Burns night is not until the 25th of the month!) -
    Mike Stevens:
    pipersfancy: I responded to your 'Robert Burns Day isn't until...' with something about 'David Frost Day', which makes absolutely no fricking sense. In my slumbering state, I guess I was thinking, 'Robert Frost' . Woo, NOW does it make sense? "Yeah, a little, but it still is lame!" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'higherlow'!
    DIS-illusioned: The misspelled note the ad agency's manager sent to his assistant after Rob Lowe's audition for the Direct TV commercial--'higherlow' (hire Lowe).
    (If I'm wrong then something is severely wrong with this world.) -
    Mike Stevens: Ha, Dis, nice play on words; and whether you're right or wrong, there's still something wrong with this world! -
    William Walz: I know this one! Higherlow is a condition I often experience when I snort cocaine minutes after taking my anti-anxiety meds! Yes! What a headrush! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm 77, and when I was a teenager my parents took me on a tour of Spahn Ranch--and left me there! Charlie rocks! -
    michaelcahill: That's a dirty Scottish term, "Hig her low!" I don't know what "higging" is, but you know them Scotts, it's something naughty for sure. -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C; I'm sure you're right; those scots; minds in the gutter! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'elusivedrunkdonkeydance'!
    ann marie mazz: oh darn
    and here I thought it was going to be
    "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
    and backwards too -
    DIS-illusioned: What an over-worked ass does in hiding in the woods on its day off one a year, with fermented liquified oats, to cope with the drudgery of its life--'elusivedrunkdonkeydance'. -
    Mike Stevens: Ann Marie; The Elusive Donkey Dance is my name for when someone gets very drunk and tries not to fall down. I remember exactly when I came up with the name; when my two friends and I were drinking some beer, and one of them said he was spinning and staggered around! -
    ann marie mazz: hi again mike

    my comment was my foolish and bad attempt at poking fun for you are both a riot with this that you post each day and you are an educator as well thus continue to be you and do what you do and with all this said I still say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (ha ha) -
    michaelcahill: A drunk slathered in wesson oil with a key to a new Corvette Stingray tied to his Viagra enhanced wonker being chased by the Over Sixty Car Lover's Club. -
    Mike Stevens:
    ann marie mazz: thank you for saying I'm an educator; maybe on how NOT to teach people anything useful, a sort of anti-educator, if you will! Lol!
    -
    Mike Stevens:
    DIS-illusioned: I've heard of 'drunk off my ass', but an actual drunk ass? Ha! -
    Mike Stevens: Ann Marie; I hope you know I was just kidding about your 'educator' comment; truly, thank you! -
    ann marie mazz: hi and yes of course but now however you have a problem because I have to charge you 25 member dollars for utilizing the word "truly" for I say that over and over (ha ha) -
    Mike Stevens:
    ann marie mazz; so sorry to hone in on your special word; TRULY; eh, ha, ha; wait, too obvious? -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'fundanger'!
    pipersfancy: my dang doppelganger is having more fun than I am... again... Damn Fundanger! -
    michaelcahill: That was the recent failed add campaign for the KKK."Don't stand on the sidelines like a sissy britches. Get involved, FUND ANGER!" -
    Mike Stevens:
    pipersfancy; recreational NUDE sky-diving? -
    Mike Stevens: michaelcahill: not that I'm aware of; of course, I have only personal experience to go by! -
    evilynne: In regard to nude skydiving, the landing could be painful -
    Mike Stevens: evilynne: Maybe, but while you're still airborne, oh, the joy of feeling the wind caress your--err-never mind! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "loveavalanchecrushed'!
    Kingsland: Definition...
    Caught in a landslide of discontent... -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'whatkindoffriendareyou'?
    Michaelk: "Honest, I just took your wife out to dinner so she wouldn't be lonely while you were working late." :) -
    Mike Stevens: If you're talking to me Michael C, you're welcome! -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion you WERE'NT talking to me? I'm too tired to know or understand ANYTHING! -
    michaelcahill: I think it wise in retrospect to acknowledge that you were. Ask for the dinner receipt... for tax reasons, of course. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'clockdust'!
    Kingsland: Definition of clockdust is...
    One who is allergic to time... -
    michaelcahill: In this modern technological age of central heating, this is what the poor chimney sweep has been reduced to for a living. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'blinderson'!
    michaelcahill: What the cop called the male offspring of Mr. and Mrs. Blinder. -
    Mike Stevens: "Malachi Blinder, I'm arresting you for, eh, having a stupid-sounding name!" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'lookbackinanger'!
    Adri7enne: The main problem in the world today. We drop a glass on a ceramic floor and it goes shattering from one end of the kitchen to the other. We go on with our day, but we "lookbackinanger" and it colors everything else that happens. Ain't life a bitch! LOL! -
    Mike Stevens: Yes, unfortunately is is, or at least seems to be; but I'll take it over the alternative! -
    shelley kaye: what the party people who drank too much last night are doing this morning LOL
    -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'falsememoriosis'!
    Michaelk: What was that? Did you say something? Who are you? -
    William Walz: I know this one! Falsememoriosis is a delusional psychotic condition in which many husbands look back on their married life mistakenly thinking they were happy the entire time! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only nine, and growing up my boyhood idols were Heckle and Jeckle! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'sleepscheduleblastedalltohell'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Sleepscheduleblastedalltohell is a condition I experience whenever my wife proclaims she is "going out with the girls" and "not to wait up for her." Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm 88 years old, and currently reside in an old folk's home on the outskirts of Kampala, Uganda. -
    Michaelk: What will happen to me and many millions of people tomorrow night. -


Mike Stevens:
Linda Engel: I was being flippant and I didn't mean most mother-in-laws; it was a rather cheap bid for laughs, you know, the, 'Mother-In-Law' jokes; sorry to include the one's that are great, and it sounds like that includes you!
    Linda Engel: i took no offense I too was smiling knowing I am one of the good ones. Both of my moth-in-laws hated me until the son got a new wife. HA! then i looked like a queen. Did I mention they were Chatholic mothers? Let's not go there. Take Care... -
    Mike Stevens: I'm going to try responding where it says to; it wouldn't work before; let's see how it goes, shall we? That's the old, "be careful what you wish for!" saying coming back to bit them on the ass, isn't it? -


Mike Stevens:
DIS-illusioned: yeah, mother's-in-law can be a BIG reason to avoid marriage; the angel who whispers in my ear used to whisper, "Go on, do it!" back when I was married!
    Linda Engel: I'm a great mother-in-law. Never bother the kids and I love my son-in-law. Blessed to have him loving my daughter and grands. -


Mike Stevens: pipersfancy; yeah, people will buy anything if they think there's a chance that they won't have to actually exercise or diet; "Swallow Slim is the revolutionary one-a-day pill that allows you to lose weight while chomping pizza!* *Or whatever fills your feed bag; allow 2-to 3 days to lose up to 75 pounds; Here is an actual testimonial from satisfied customer Fred D. "I didn't believe it actually worked until after 3 days the neighbor's wife told me, "Wow Fred, you must have really been busting your hump; speaking of..., how about later huh?"


Mike Stevens: William Walz; yeah, Einstein's theories went all to hell after he'd had a few!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'eliptosquare'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Eliptosquare was Einstein's view of the universe after six beers and three shots of whiskey! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only thirteen, and have been attending AA meetings since I was six. -
    pipersfancy: Yes... I saw the tv infomercial on that one... It's the revolutionary new exercise machine where the machine does all the work; circling wildly around in an elliptical pattern (and making all sorts of impressive whirling sounds!) while the person sits in the middle of the contraption on their large, square butt, with a pint of Ben and Jerry's in hand. It looked fabulous! I ordered one! -
    DIS-illusioned: What an angel whispers in your ear at 2am, when you want to sucker your mother-in-law in the mouth--a lip to square = 'eliptosquare'.
    And my mother worries why I'm still not happily married at 60--pff! -


Mike Stevens:
pipersfancy: ha!


Mike Stevens: Shelley; ESPECIALLY late at night!


Mike Stevens:
William Walz: I've given up on the bastard in the mirror; that guy looks familiar, but I can't quite place him; all I know is he's basically a moronic-looking tool!


Mike Stevens:
Kingsland: Paranoia and I are old friends; he comes over just to drink coffee, shoot the breeze, and hang out in my head!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'isanybodythere?'!
    Kingsland: Where, over there, damn paranoia striking in again. Or was it my own reflection I was seeing? Knock, knock, who's there. It's just myself without my underwear... -
    William Walz: I know this one! Isanybodythere? is the question I always ask myself when looking into a mirror. Invariably, the answer is always a resounding...Nope! Nobody home! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only ten, and from the age of three I've been on my own after being abandoned in the Amazon Rain Forest and eating twigs and small insects! -
    shelley kaye: what i say when i'm home alone and hear a knock on the door....
    -
    pipersfancy: The first words that fall out of my mouth whenever I enter into ANY discussion with either of my two teenagers... sigh. -


Mike Stevens: Boy Shelley, you've sure got that right, ESPECIALLY the cable news programs!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'fakerealitytv'!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is theincredibledisappearingpost'!


Mike Stevens: Michael C., you nailed it!


Mike Stevens: William, ha!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'neighborsucks'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Neighborsucks is a condition that arises when you buy a house--and later realize the house you bought is right next door to a cathouse! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only six, and when I was three a drunken Santa fell out of his sleigh and landed on my head! -
    michaelcahill: A pathetic attempt to get along with one's neighbors by offering degrading acts of chrome removal on the bumpers of their cars. -


Mike Stevens:
Ha, DIS-illusioned!


Mike Stevens:
pipersfancy: A tinsel-addict, huh?


Mike Stevens: You've got THAT right, Shelley!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'lovehateindifference'!
    shelley kaye: the relationships between husbands and their mothers-in-law....

    -
    pipersfancy: A 3-step program for those afflicted with Christmas addictions... (bad... I expect I'll get coal in my stocking for that one) -


Mike Stevens: Yes, it's the ULTIMATE no-no; applies to friends, family, the guy at the hardware store, ...!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'allornothingpolitics'!
    granny goes viral: Me throwing a "date" off my porch, after I caught him watching Fox News. -


Mike Stevens: DIS-The key is NOT to get caught by a monster; I find that a high-pitched wail, much like a little girl, works wonders; of course, you have to practice almost constantly; so far, it's always worked for me; of course, I get many a strange look in the supermarket!
    DIS-illusioned: It could also be what emanates from your mouth after you've been sedated but then find out that the syringe had contained recycled toilet water.
    P.S. There's nothing wrong with recycled toilet water--as long as it's not from my toilet. -


Mike Stevens:
pipersfancy: ouch!


Mike Stevens:
shelley: at least he melted with a smile on his face!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'calmscream'!
    pipersfancy: A name of a yoga move perfected by Santa after one-too-many trips down the chimney, only to land butt-first in hot coals. -
    DIS-illusioned: That eerie low-pitch sound you make when a monster's right on top of you and in your face, and hisses at you not to make a peep--'calmscream'.
    (Absolutely no hope for you in such scenarios.) -
    michaelcahill: It's a cream laced with Valium rubbed all over one's body applied to produce a feeling of nirvana. It doesn't work properly if applied by Rosie Perez. -


Mike Stevens: Kingsland; I could tell you was a poet; just so you knows it!


Mike Stevens:
DIS-illusioned: very accurate!


Mike Stevens:
nor84: funny stuff!


Mike Stevens: Today word is 'normalabnormal'!
    nor84: What my doctor says to me when my lab work is normal. -
    DIS-illusioned: The self-fulfilled prophecy that the crap you believed to be transpiring is indeed confirmed--'normalabnormal'.
    (You so hate how obvious it is that you're right in these cases.) -
    Kingsland: How to describe Kingsland, the poet. The poet don't know it, he never did. He's just the definition of the word presented here. that's about as clear as mud, But then you weren't referring to mud... -


Mike Stevens: Michael C; nice poem!


Mike Stevens: It's a mouthful, but it's a REAL word; you can look it up; no it's not, never mind evilynne!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'yesterdayfulloftomorrow's'!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'yesterdayfulloftomorrow's'!
    michaelcahill: yesterdayfulloftomorrow's

    we ponder yesterday
    and mourn our sorrows
    while putting time at bay
    for our tommorrows

    today comes with a rush
    your last one borrowed
    you never moved ahead
    you looked back?and you wallowed?
    -


Mike Stevens: Ha, Dis!


Mike Stevens: Careful how you say 'head gasket' Michael; kids read this too!
    DIS-illusioned: "Head gasket'!
    There, I said it--and callously, too. Let the kids eat cake! Pff! .... -


Mike Stevens: Careful how you say 'head gasket' Michael; kids read this too!


Mike Stevens: Shelly, your definition sound right; "We'll be right back here on the mighty KROQ, where the hits just keep on spewing!"


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'macandmotoroil'! I know, weird; give me a break, my brain is still sleeping!
    shelley kaye: i think that's the new deejay team on kroq....

    -
    michaelcahill: A condition rarely spoken of. The desire to make out with one's car. It usually involves head gasket replacement. Wait till it cools off fellas!! -
    DIS-illusioned: The new, avant-garde culinary cuisine from Detroit that will slowly, but surely, replace macaroni and cheese, with the ingenious innovation of conflating macaroni and motor oil, and created as a means to combating the eroding American vehicle industry--'macandmotoroil'.
    Bon appetit! -


Mike Stevens: Michael, if I do my math right, in 363 days it will be the 16th!


Mike Stevens: pipersfancy; ha!


Mike Stevens: You still believe it the rodeo, Michael?
    michaelcahill: I always will. Let me know when Dec. 16th is here. I don't want to miss it. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'latetotherodeo'!
    michaelcahill: Hey, I heard the rodeo is coming to town on Tuesday. Anybody seen it yet? -
    pipersfancy: Is it some kind of weird euphemism for... I couldn't find the bathroom in time, and my explosive digestive issues got the better of me...? -


Mike Stevens: Linda, there's a LOT of that going around!


Mike Stevens: I feel your pain, William!


Mike Stevens: I hear that, Shelley!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Igotnothingitis'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Igotnothingitis is the mental condition I was afflicted with after leaving divorce court and being told by my Jacoby and Meyers attorney what my part of the settlement would be! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm 86, and the last time I was allowed out of the asylum without a guard was 1956! -
    Linda Engel: I'm with Shelly. My muse is out shopping and NOT at home where she should be. -
    michaelcahill: My wife's chief complaint. I don't quite understand it... she's got me! -
    Michaelk: Didn't we do this same word last month? Or is that your definition? Recycling the same words from previous months in hopes that readers won't remember. Just sayin'. :) -


Mike Stevens: I think I've got it Dis; also known as 'moneysuckosis!'


Mike Stevens: Linda, just turn right at California! Most maps don't list that state, but it's there; nice scenery too!


Mike Stevens: I don't know William; have you seen some of those pots and pans? Any woman would look sharp with one of those hanging around her neck!


Mike Stevens: Mickael K-there are ENDLESS uses for a 12-in-one-screwdriver; let's see, screwing in a 12-in-one screw?


Mike Stevens: Today's word is, "Giftpanicosis'!
    Michaelk: The mental state that sells millions of fruitcakes, 12 in 1 screwdrivers, and cheap bottles of cologne, especially during Christmas week. -
    William Walz: I know this one! Giftpanicosis is a peculiar mental condition suffered by many men at Christmas. It is a temporary psychotic condition during which men become obsessed with the idea of giving their wives pots and pans as xmas gifts, and truly believe their spouses will be delighted to receive such gifts! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only seven, and when I was a toddler my parents hired Adrian Peterson as my baby sitter. Ouch! -
    Linda Engel: But I like fruitcake and I want a new mixer, I hate jewelry, and I'd better get my usual bottle of Scotch, the green or gold label . Hey Mike, can you give the directions to that mental state again..?) -
    DIS-illusioned: That sinking, aching realization that it's freaking Christmas time again, and so you have to quickly find an apt cliff over which to fling your wallet and bank/credit cards, because the family will be bloody salivating in anticipation of the spectacular presents they believe they'll be getting from you--'Giftpanicosis'.
    Let me know if that definition was too brief, or not comprehensive enough. -
    granny goes viral: Ah Dis, I knew I could count on you.
    My take on this word is this:
    Don't even. Cause I ain't. -
    michaelcahill: This is an unfortunate and well earned condition. It applies to people who do their Christmas shopping at the 99 cent store. In spite of all of the thanks they receive for their "thoughtful" gifts, they can't but help believe that all of their friends and family are talking about them behind their backs saying what a rotten cheap SOB they are and how tacky the crap they received is. The overwhelming fear that this "panning" of the gifts will become an organized web site hell bent on their destruction is called, "Giftpanicosis". It is not considered neurotic or delusional as the likelihood of such a site being formed is extremely likely. -


Mike Stevens: Ha Dis!
    DIS-illusioned: So, what do I win? And don't you dare tell me my reward is in heaven. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Damnalmostforgot'!
    DIS-illusioned: Barely remembering that dementia is setting in--'Damnalmostforgot'. -


Mike Stevens:
granny goes viral: me three; wow, am I a funny man!


Mike Stevens: Adri7enne: I must agree with you there; ho ho-freaking-ho!


Mike Stevens: Microwave soup, ha Linda!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'holidaybastard'!
    Linda Engel: I got this one: The guy sitting alone on the bed at Motel 6, drinking microwave soup, after his wife caught him kissing his secretary's mistletoe in the supply room at the office Christmas party . -
    Adri7enne: That'll teach him to kiss his secretary's mistletoe. He deserves to sit alone at Motel 6. LOL!
    I can't wait for his holiday hogwash to be over. Yeah, I'm a Christmas basher. Hate it! -


Mike Stevens: Michael C, that's quite a SPECIFIC and hilarious definition!


Mike Stevens: Shelley, that seems like quite the popular theme!


Mike Stevens: Ha, pipersfancy!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'hurldiner'!
    pipersfancy: That awkward digestive sensation I feel after eating a grand slam breakfast at Denny's... pass the Tums, would ya? -
    shelley kaye: the feeling you get from eating ANYTHING at denny's!! :-P

    -
    michaelcahill: "I've told her time and time again. I do not like black olives in my enchiladas. So she tells me to pick them out. Ha! I wouldn't have to pick them out if they WEREN'T THERE to begin with. She tells me that the other family members like them, she likes them and there is every likelihood that aliens from other planets like them. So, I tell her that I don't give a rat's ass what other people on the universe think, I DON'T LIKE THEM. I let her know the obvious truth. She put the damn things in there just to piss me off. So, I grab my plate and say that maybe the enchiladas would like to fly through space like the aliens who love them. That led to an example of, "hurldiner". -


Mike Stevens: So, big t**ts could be breast implants? How very depressing William!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is falsefrontadvertising!
    William Walz: I know this one! Falsefrontadvertising is the kind of an ad a plastic surgeon uses to entice women into getting breast implants! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only five, and when I was an infant my older brother used to use my head for a basketball! -
    michaelcahill: A new form of marketing. A creepy guy shows up at your front door singing a song about his man boobs. Then he asks, "Wouldn't these look better on you?" I told him, only if they were attached to Rosie Perez. -


Mike Stevens: Yes, Michael C, that's EXACTLY what it means, complementary!


Mike Stevens: Ha, Linda E; I think we all have those kind of neighbors; or the ones that overdo!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "annoyoneighbor'!
    Linda Engel: I'll take a guess.. The Bah Humbugs that live behind their doors and peek out the windows and refuse to participate in Christmas. -
    michaelcahill: I'm waiting for this one. That's what they have called me everywhere I've lived. (even in a duplex next to my mother) I've never known what it means. Something of a complimentary nature I imagine. -


Mike Stevens: Phyllis; that's why I avoid housework at all costs!


Mike Stevens: Emily; perfect description!


Mike Stevens: Ha, Michael C!


Mike Stevens: You've got that right, Michaelk!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'actionbordom.!
    Michaelk: Every kid with a video game controller in his hand. -
    michaelcahill: The woman you are having an affair with has sleep apnea. -


Mike Stevens: Once again, stupidity prevents me from replying to everyone individually, so this is a blanket 'ha!' to everybody; you'll have to decide how to split it up!
    Lovinia: Mikey and I will share! -


Mike Stevens: The word for today is 'fullempty'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Fullempty is the peculiar state of mind experienced by those hapless individuals approaching their vehicle after a night out at the local bar. Even though the car's gas gauge indicates empty, in their drunken condition many drivers will see it as full, and begin their journey home with a drunk's false sense of security, only to run out of gas halfway home and fall prey to the attention of local law enforcement. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only eleven, and grew up in a house with twelve older sisters who thought I had "punching bag" tattooed on my forehead. -
    Michaelk: My gas tank and bank account in that order. Usually at the same time. :) -
    Kingsland: This word has a duel meaning. first the full part. a politician's bank account. then the empty part. A politician's mind... -
    Linda Engel: I love idle minds. They are so much fun to play with. -
    michaelcahill: There are certain military manuals dealing with covert activities that deal with matters of a highly sexual nature. The military is rather regimented in its approach to things. I think we can leave it at that. The illustrations are a hoot. -
    Lovinia: Like our footballer who relieved himself on a police car while at his wedding on the week-end. Big fine ... bet his new wife was wondering if she made the right decision. Footballers ... full of it and empty-headed. -


Mike Stevens: I'm suffering from 'formatshock' right now, because I can't seem to figure out how to answer each of your comments individually so how about a group 'I'm laughing like a hyena!' blanket-comment?
    flamingstar: My God, I'm gone for two days and look what happens! I already told Tom I hate it! I hate change! Was there a problem with the old format???? -
    Erys: I had this problem too, but Tom said that I can replay like a profile comment...and that is a little confused this thing. !? So there is no way to answer to each comment as you could if you would use a blog or other platform. The technique is killing us...:) -


Mike Stevens: The word for today is 'formatshock'!
    michaelcahill: Yeah, dammit! Mom always liked Mat best. I'll never forget that Christmas when he got the new Schwinn Bike and I got a bike tire pump!! -
    Kingsland: What you get when you receive bad ratings for your poem... -
    shelley kaye: formatshock: what fanstorians had when tom decided it was time for a new look. also known as purplescreeneater.

    -
    Michaelk: Formatshock: When Fanstory members are strapped in a figurative chair, as Tom flicks a large switch that says, 'New Fanstory format'. -
    Imogen JH: Is this another meaning for the condition called 'Demand Avoidance'? -


Mike Stevens: Thanks Julia!


Mike Stevens: How do I go back to the old one, Michael C?


Mike Stevens: How do I go back to the old one, Michael C?
    Julia.: classic.fanstory.com -


Mike Stevens: You'll have to forgive me everyone, but, "I can't fly this thing!" This new setup, I don't know!


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "truthlieness'!
    shelley kaye: umm.... how i feel about fanstory's "new look" right now :-P

    -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'whatsthistogethers**t?'!
    Kingsland: Now you've gone to far, when you don't know what together means. You'll be on the outside of your dreams... -
    Mike Stevens: Oh. at least I have a pretty good idea what 's**t' means! -
    William Walz: I know this one! Whatsthistogethers**t is what I told my wife after seeing her exiting a Motel 6 hand-in-hand with her ex-husband! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only nine, and when I was three I had to be resuscitated by paramedics after bobbing for apples! -
    michaelcahill: The together suit was originally designed for Chang and Eng the famous Siamese twins. When they passed their families had a garage sale. Nancy Slatheredbottom picked up the garment and exclaimed, "Whatthistogethersuit?" Everyone smiled at the warm memory of the Eng brothers wearing it. She bought the suit and it rumored to have used it to add spice to her marriage. -
    Mike Stevens: William, I'll bet that's not all you'd say! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'attackercoward'!
    Michaelk: Every political ad ever written. -
    William Walz: I know this one! An attackercoward is the typical school bully who will run for home with his tail between his legs and his thumb in his mouth screaming "mommy" when somebody finally stands up to him! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only seven, and when I was two my obese ten-year-old sister sat on my chest until my face turned blue! -
    Mike Stevens: Your sister got confused; she thought they said 'all you can SEAT'; god, I'm sorry about the lameness! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "lastplacewin'!
    Michaelk: A golf tournament. No, wait, that's lowestscorewin. -
    Kingsland: That would be about George Bush and the last time he was elected president... Lastplacewin... -
    shelley kaye: YAY! i so know this one! "lastplacewin" is when two guys are fighting over a girl and the one that gets knocked out wins the girl's heart! YES!

    yes. yes, i am a hopelessly hopeful romantic....

    -
    Mike Stevens: You mean all these years my parents have been lying to me Michael C? -
    William Walz: I know this one! Lastplacewin is the way I feel about my mother-in-law. She's in last place because she's my second favorite person in the whole wide world. Everyone else is tied for first! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only nine, and when I was three I was kidnapped by Apaches and raised by a squaw with no teeth and four fingers on each hand. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'brainmud'!
    pipersfancy: The state of one's cognitive abilities following 24 hours of non-stop Thanksgiving gluttony... -
    Kingsland: Intoxication of brainlessness... -
    shelley kaye: what the people who go shopping on thanksgiving weekend have....

    -
    Mike Stevens: Imogen JH; better middle name than me; think curse word, any and all! -
    Mike Stevens: pipersfancy; I can't seem to understand your comment; damn turkey, and mashed potatoes, and...! -
    Mike Stevens: Shelley, it's better known by it's literary term; 'blackFridaymoronics'! -
    Michaelk: If you mix dirt and water to make mud, do you mix ground up brains and water to make brainmud?
    "Igor, bring me the brainmud!"
    "Yes, Master..." -
    Mike Stevens: Makes perfect sense to me; "It's ALIVE, it's ALIVE!" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'bloatoshus'!
    shelley kaye: what many people may be feeling after eating too much yesterday....
    -
    Michaelk: What Hippos call each other when they are mating. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'happygobblerdayIhope'!
    shelley kaye: what the turkeys pray it will be for them....
    -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "quarterhalf'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Quarterhalf is the mathematical test problem that caused me to flunk the fourth grade! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only ten, and growing up my boyhood idols were Rocky and Bullwinkle. -
    Mike Stevens: William, I think the math question that caused me to flunk out in the same grade is, "What is two plus two?" -
    Debra White: A quarter half? that would be an 8th....wouldn't it?! -
    trimple: Bed thief mathematics! -
    Mike Stevens: Literally, I guess Debra; but the one plus one is beyond my mathematical abilities; oh who am I kidding? WHAT mathematical abilities? -
    Michaelk: A small horse that only runs half the race. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'sharehogger'!
    Debra White: It's what I'd call my husband when I share my chocolate with him and he takes too big a bite. -
    Imogen JH: I'd call mine worse than that Deb's if he took my chocholate. Especially my orange matchmakers.

    I think it is a city wide boy who buys up all a companies shares.

    Well, maybe. -
    pipersfancy: The mildly conflicted feelings I experience when I think, "I should probably share these Lindt chocolates with my kids", yet I hide in the car and eat it all myself before coming in from the grocery... Oh well... that feeling passes. -
    Michaelk: My wife, who by some miraculous means, snuggles up to me in bed and still manages to take all the covers. -
    Mike Stevens: Debra, he should know better that to mess with someone else's chocolate; you just don't do it! -
    Mike Stevens: ImogenJH; does Debra know that your husband wants to share her chocolate? -
    Mike Stevens: pipersfancy; a very reasonable reaction, if you ask me! -
    Mike Stevens: Michaelk, I think your complaint is universal; one bit of advice learned through years of unfortunate experience; lift weights so you can pull harder! -
    michaelcahill: The big pig barons in the south offer land for people to live on in exchange for slopin' their hogs. When the hogs go to market, the sharehoggers get one. If they don't sell, they goo wee wee wee all they way home. -
    William Walz: I know this one! A sharehogger is any redneck who, after capturing a greased pig in your typical greased pig competition, will share it with other inbred rednecks! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only five, and when I was two I thought it would be cool to eat the yellow snow! -
    Mike Stevens: Ye-ha, William; you're right! And I thought I was the only one! -
    Michaelk: Wait a minute, you mean those weren't lemon snow cones? -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Ginandtonicitis'!
    Kingsland: I can't even pronounce that. So I have no idea of what that is. That is not a very good word you've made up here. Give it to me phonetically... -
    William Walz: I know this one! Ginandtonicitis is the alcoholic addiction where the addicted will drink one type of drink and one type only. Other variations of the disease include the dreaded rumandrhumbra syndrome, the ever-popular oldfashioneditis and the current sadderbudweiser affliction. No cure for any of these debilitating addictive conditions has yet been found. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only 13, and started drinking hard liquor at the age of 9. -
    Mike Stevens: William, you waited until you were 9? You've got me beat! -
    Mike Stevens: Good Kingsland; the pressure of trying to mangle words BEFORE my coffee is IMMENSE; lol! -
    michaelcahill: A condition claimed by many who refuse to admit they're alcoholics. Similar to vodkainIVatosis. -
    Michaelk: The thing you get right before DUI syndrome and bailmeoutosis. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'forgetwish'!
    Kingsland: That's an absent minded Genie.. -
    William Walz: I know this one! Forgetwish is something you would like to forget you ever wished for, similar to a lifemulligan, or the do-over. A common example: The first time I ever saw my ex I wished we would fall in love and someday later be married. The wish was granted, but one year later, after the third alimony payment, I tried to forget the wish, but by doing so I was soon taken into custody, lost my house and my car, and half of my retirement! Yes! -
    Michaelk: Where do I sign up for the life mulligan? -
    Michaelk: 'Forgetwish': A wish given by an evil genie who afflicts the wisher with alzheimer's as soon as the wish is granted. -
    Mike Stevens: I know, right? As soon as I heard the term 'life mulligan', I thought, 'say, I like that and wish it were a real thing!" A rather humorous definition too; me thinks you're correct! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'blabberamous'!
    shelley kaye: what my daughter does when she forgets her ADHD meds :-P


    -
    Michaelk: That fast talking guy from the micro machines commercials of the eighties. His blabber became famous.
    -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'kneepadgratitude'!
    Imogen JH: Like when you fall off your child's skateboard. -
    Mike Stevens: Yes, that would be one example, Imogen JH! -
    shelley kaye: what my daughter has when she's in karate class....
    also known as shinpadgratitude and headpadgratitude
    ;-)

    -
    William Walz: I know this one! Kneepadgratitude is the appreciation felt by most prostitutes for protective knee devices when their customers opt for oral sex! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only ten, and when I was two I was attacked by a pack of feral cats. -
    Mike Stevens: William, that's the exact definition as listed in 'The Mangled Word Dictionary', although you may want to keep it quiet; not many people know about that particular dictionary! -
    michaelcahill: Similar to the Beatitudes but for X-games participants. -
    Michaelk: When the secretary 'thanks' her boss for giving her a raise by giving him a raise.
    :) -
    Mike Stevens: I'm SURE I don't know WHAT you mean, Michaelk; lol! -
    michaelcahill: I don't see what's wrong with raising your bosses spirits. A kind word can work wonders. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'meaninglessimportant'!
    Michaelk: Any sports statistic (if you're really honest about it). -
    William Walz: I know this one! Meaninglessimportant is a psychological term delineating the qualitative differences in the thought processes between men and women. The first part of the expression is the relative significance, or lack thereof, and the females's interpretation attached to what any man tells a woman which he believes is of vital importance. This is a close kin to the response many women will give men when in total disregard of stated exchanges, most commonly known in the clinical arena as the "forgetaboutit" syndrome. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only six, and when I was four my parents decided, for my own future well being, I needed a prefrontal lobotomy. -
    Mike Stevens: Michael, I'll buy that for a dollar; EXCEPT for baseball statistics; those are essential! -
    Mike Stevens: You can hardly tell, William; and I won't go near your definition; my ex would vehemently deny it! -
    michaelcahill: It is an ancient philosophical saying. The modern translation would be, "Is it meaningless to bring an ant into an environment of honey? What of two ants who can reproduce?" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Igotnothingism'!
    shelley kaye: what my muse and brain have been saying to the pen and paper lately :-P

    -
    Mike Stevens: Yeah Shelley, me too; but do you think having nothing to write about stops me? -
    Kingsland: This means... Of what you know when you know nothing... Igotnothingism -
    michaelcahill: I've got plenty of that, and it's got plenty of me. -
    Mike Stevens: Michaelk; very clever; I see what you did there; unless I too suffer from 'Igotnothingism'! -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C; it's like I always say; "Don't look back, nothing might be gaining on you!" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'speaktruthnot'!
    Kingsland: It's a political brain mistrust... -
    rosehill (Wendy): I believe our FS poetess
    BeasPeas has already coined the concept. She calls it Grubering. -
    William Walz: I know this one! Speaktruthnot is typically the closing argument given to any jury by a defense attorney! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. When I was three my parents took me across the border to Tijuana--and left me there. -
    Mike Stevens: I think your have the right definition Kingsland, But I don't know...! -
    Mike Stevens: William; how do you know EVERY time? Ah, Tijuana; brings back so many memories; of course, I've never been, but hey...! -
    William Walz: Mike, all kidding aside, my wife and I went to TJ once as tourists. It was the most depressing place I had ever seen. TJ is the true meaning of hopelessness and despair. I would never go back again. -
    michaelcahill: Paris Hilton is a plus to the world!

    C'mon, everyone, speaktruthnot!! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'mangleatron.'
    shelley kaye: what it's called when scientists get in a fight....
    -
    Nick©: When you bungle Megatron's name... -
    michaelcahill: Otherwise known as the writing prompt: Write a rhyming poem in iambic pentameter. -
    William Walz: I know this one! A mangleatron is a Transformer who takes great delight in ripping a human being limb-from-limb! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only nine, and I've been thrown under the bus so many times I've got GOODYEAR tattooed on my forehead. -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C; I don't even know what an 'Icelandic pentagram' is! -
    Mike Stevens: William, I guess it's better than being tied to the top of an 18-foot tall bus going under a 17.5-foot tall underpass; by the way, humorous definition! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'spacehuff'!
    shelley kaye: what you call a astronaut who gets high....

    -
    pipersfancy: Oh - I thought it was when things REALLY didn't go a person's way, and they became SO upset that they went spinning off in a spacehuff... No? -
    Michaelk: pipersfancy. That's the first thing I thought too. What if two of the astronauts were fighting. Now I got nothin'. :( -
    michaelcahill: The desire to be on the space station, step outside with a paper bag and a can of gold spray paint and huff it. Sadly, it is not survivable. But, dude, what a cool fantasy! -
    Mike Stevens: That sounds right also, pipersfancy; I'm SO confused! -
    Mike Stevens: Michaelk; that's alright; I've had nothing too, but do you see it stopping me? -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'saladstick'!
    Kingsland: The proper name for a salad stick is a fork... -
    mrsmajor:
    Yep, I can go long with a fork...that's what I use...that was a good one...lol -
    michaelcahill: They do sell remedies at PetSmart, but honestly, once your salad has ticks you're gonna have to throw it out and start over.

    Or--- a carrot

    Or--- a term used in prison that you don't want to know about... -
    shelley kaye: i'll go with that carrot definition of mikey's.

    or it could be celery....
    -
    Michaelk: What 'Shaft' would carry if he were a militant vegetarian. -
    michaelcahill: What disturbed vegetarian children do to a salad to see if it gets angry... -
    Mike Stevens: Sorry everyone, got other things going on, so have not enough time to answer each of you individually, so just let me say that they're all funny definition deals! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'accordianneckedsloth'!
    William Walz: I know this one! An accordianneckedsloth is the descriptive terminology given to giant ground sloths convicted of murder and executed by hanging. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only six, and have been raised by monks in a Tibetan Monastery with a diet of only bread and water. -
    Mike Stevens: William, very creative definition; were you really raised by Tibetan monks, cause you would never know! -
    shelley kaye: a naked kardashian playing an accordion.... and annoying the heck out of everyone!
    -
    Mike Stevens: ANOTHER Kardashian? Please, although naked would be cool! -
    michaelcahill: accordianneckedsloth: An insult amongst three toed ground sloths hurled at sloths that have to stop and watch when vultures pick at a corpse.

    "Hey, accordianneckedsloth, move on, we're in a damn hurry!"

    -
    Mike Stevens: Well, Michael, if they're not naked, I'm out!
    Ha, great definition! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'tictaclog'!
    michaelcahill: A tourist attraction in my hometown, Myownmaking, population 9. Three feet long and two feet in circumference, it was destroyed in the summer rain of July 1975. -
    William Walz: I know this one! A tictaclog is an industrial-sized breath mint for a very large person with a very large mouth and a very bad case of bad breath! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm only 12, and I flunked the third grade three times. -
    Mike Stevens: Hey William, at least you graduated to 4th grade, eventually; I was not as fortunate; funny def., by the way! -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C., the summer of '75 will forever remind me of damn near 40 years ago, but maybe that's just me! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'stupidfying'!
    Michaelk: Driving home with a jug of tea on top of your car. (Yes, I did that.) -
    William Walz: I know this one! Stupidfying is a description of the experience most teens have when attending classes at public high school. Yes! -
    mrsmajor: Leaving an expensive pair of prescription sunglasses on the top of the car, was STUPID...and costly...my husband wasn't too pleased either...it cost him....I know stupid was not the word, but I just thought I add this stupid incident..LOL -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm 73 years old, and my childhood idol was Soupy Sales. -
    Mike Stevens: Michaelk, we've all done something similar! -
    Mike Stevens: You're damn close William. I think I came up with the word then! -
    Mike Stevens: Soupy Sales; what would the game shows of my youth have done without him? -
    Mike Stevens: I wouldn't feel too bad mrsmajor, like I said to Michaelk, we've all pulled a stunt like that! -
    michaelcahill: The art of convincing a young lady that I am worthwhile and convincing her to come home with me. I've found that darkness helps. -
    Mike Stevens: That combined with a George Clooney Halloween mask! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'wordlessdude'!
    William Walz: I know this one! How one might describe any man who has just been informed his wife has been sleeping with his best friend! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm almost 70, and still have the very same hemorrhoid I had when I was 40! -
    michaelcahill: Chick says to Dude, "Tell we about your feelings." -
    Mike Stevens: Actually William, whatever the definition, it doesn't relate to me in ANY form; I've got plenty to say, the words don't matter; I NEVER shut up! -
    Mike Stevens: It my vast experience with women, Michael, it's more like, "Whoaskedyouaboutanything?" -
    Michaelk: Me, at three in the morning, after having typed out three chapters. -
    Mike Stevens: Michael K; me anytime, but damn it, I keep on trying, unfortunately for everyone! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is ''withoutaclue'!
    William Walz: I know this one. Withoutaclue is how Columbo used to solve all his tough cases! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: No Rose, it's describing the leaders of The Tea Party! -
    michaelcahill: Where I would be if I was hanging out with Outaclue. -
    Michaelk: How politicians seem to run their elections. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'hattage'!
    Michaelk: The same as a cottage only made entirely of hats. :) -
    Kingsland: For me, that word means an old hat... -
    Mike Stevens: Michael, my question is, if that's the definition, does the cottage have a stove-pipe hat for heat? -
    William Walz: I know this one! A variation and companion piece to "baggage". This is the age at which elderly women stop fighting female pattern baldness and cover their receding hairline with a hat! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I was a virgin well into into my thirties, and it left me a bitter old man. -
    Mike Stevens: William, it worked for me; my male pattern baldness took the pattern of a complete cue ball, so I took to wearing a 'Real Women Chew Redman' baseball hat, and as long as I don't take my hat off on a date, no problem; of course GETTING a date who likes baseball during sex is the part I'm having a bit of trouble with! -
    michaelcahill: The amount of electrical current that can be generated by spinning the propeller on a nerds hat while his finger is glued in a light socket. -
    Michaelk: Of course it would be heated with a stove-pipe hat. :) -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'explosionesis'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Explosionesis is the medical term given to patients suffering from excessive flatulence and the often accompanying condition known as explosive diarrhea! Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. As a child I was kicked in the head by a rabid donkey, and I'm 86. -
    michaelcahill: Those who believe that the big bang theory and the Biblical account of creation are not necessarily incompatible. -
    Mike Stevens: No, Michael, the word for that is 'religo-blastmaybe'! -
    michaelcahill: I thought that is what you called armed drunks waiting at the door for religious people to knock and invite them to church are called. -
    Mike Stevens: That too can be a definition; it all depends on the pronunciation! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'bagoballsosis'!
    michaelcahill: I thought we weren't going to talk about that now that I've agreed to stop wearing the short shorts.... -
    Mike Stevens: Sorry man; I know I agreed not to mention this, but come on; those shorts? Any tighter, those babies would be on your forehead! -
    shelley kaye: being surrounded by many guys wearing speedos....
    -
    William Walz: I know this one! Bagoballsosis is the chronic back pain tennis coaches experience from carrying heavy bags of tennis balls around all day long for the spoiled children of rich parents and charging exorbitant coaching fees. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. My parents divorced while I was still in the womb, and I'm only 13. -
    Mike Stevens: Isn't your humorous definition the truth William; and try to top this; I was born BEFORE my parents met; hey wait a minute; Mom, a few questions? -
    Michaelk: Irrational fear of strangers in dark alleys that sell marbles. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'hangingchadosis'!
    trimple: 'hangingchadosis' = A term used to describe people that re-use teabags. -
    William Walz: I don't know this one! But don't be mad. I'm only eight, and I never got past the second grade. -
    Mike Stevens: Well, at least you made it to the 2nd grade! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'telemarketerchoke'!
    nor84: What I'd like to do to 'em. -
    Kingsland: You just like to making up words from a base word that is known. Todays word in non-nomenclature. it means that you are making up nonsensical words that have no real meaning... -
    William Walz: You mean these words aren't the real deal? What's next? No Santa Claus? -
    michaelcahill: Of course it's a word. It is that moment when a person answers the phone saying, "I hope you're a telemarketer, I'm interested in wasting money on a worthless product and I have lots of money", and the telemarketer hesitates. -
    Mike Stevens: Well, made you look and comment, Kingsland, didn't I? -
    Mike Stevens: Now, what's that about Santa Claus, William? -
    Mike Stevens: "Pay no attention to the William behind the curtain," Shelley! -
    Mike Stevens: Michael, that's EXACTLY the correct definition; please claim the boat anchor that is today's 1st prize--err--that's right, this is only electronic. Maybe you can bring your electric car to pick it up? -
    Michaelk: The telemarketer that trips right before the finish line in the sack race of the yearly telemarketer's picnic. -
    Mike Stevens: And here I thought I was the only one who paid attention to or cared about the 'Telemarketers Picnic'! -


Mike Stevens: today's word is 'militaraint'!
    Kingsland: I found militarist, one who is a war hawk or war monger. So is this then one who doesn't like war. I have to ask, because I couldn't find the word anywhere... -
    Mike Stevens: Oh, you gave it away! You'd have to have a very special dictionary to find this word, an imaginary word dictionary! -
    Michaelk: Having a line of tanks with the drop on the enemy's headquarters but not firing. That shows military restraint. -
    Mike Stevens: Now that sounds like a great definition, Michael! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Screwedtosis'!
    William Walz: I know this one! Screwedtosis is what happens when one's shoe-less feet are run over by a eighteen wheeler. Your toeses are definitely gonna be screwed! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: That is a fine, funny description, William; an 18-wheeler huh? -
    Mike Stevens: Ha, whatever do you mean by debauchery, Rose?? -
    Michaelk: When you've finally discovered the courage to 'make your move' for romance. The object of your affection appears willing, and just as you open your mouth to land that perfect kiss, your potential partner smells your sewer breath and lapses into unconsciousness. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Hyenalaughscream'!
    Michaelk: What I do when my wife tickles me. -
    William Walz: I know this one! One of the more bizarre forms of abnormal animal behavior, afflicting certain members of the hyena family. Similar to bipolar disorder in humans, these wretched creatures experience violent mood swings, sometimes laughing, sometimes terrified, randomly and seemingly without appropriate motivation. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. As a toddler I was locked in a bathroom and chained to a toilet bowl. And I'm only nine. -
    shelley kaye: what little kids do when the hyenas laugh in lion king....
    -
    Michaelk: What's wrong with a definition? (And don't shout, I have a headache) -
    Mike Stevens: Well William C, I must be a member of the hyena family, because violent mood swinging are what I do! -
    Mike Stevens: And try being 51 and still being chained to the toilet; it's embarrassing, William! -
    Mike Stevens: Shelley, have you ever seen the lion king; he's got problems, and how he ever became a king is beyond me! -
    michaelcahill: That's really inside info that hyenas are not going to be pleased to know you are making public. It's true though, as hyenas age their ability to laugh diminishes. In order to fit in to their packs they purchase special "laughs cream" on the black market. It is something that causes them great shame. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'tankosis'!
    William Walz: I know this one! A variation of the human condition known as halitosis, usually occurring after siphoning gasoline from a car gas tank to a can by the use of a hose and suctioning by mouth. Yes! -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I was dropped on my head as an infant, and I'm only seven. -
    Mike Stevens: Sounds right to me; watch the head there, William! -
    Mike Stevens: Shelly, we need to be nice to William; he needs to stay calm, and being made fun of tends to upset him; everything is OKAY William! -
    michaelcahill: A term that still attacks your sister's self esteem to this day... -
    trimple: 'tankosis': A term used to describe men and women alike, who are obsessed with sunbeds. -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C; if I had a sister, I'd be oh so offended right now, but since I don't that I know of, HA! -
    Michaelk: The psychosis that makes me want to drive a large piece of metal with treads on it across various terrain, shooting a big gun and screaming 'Yippee kai yay, mother......!' -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'stonesoft'!
    shelley kaye: falling on a cloud bed of feathers after smoking a joint?
    -
    William Walz: I know this one! Surely what the Egyptian stone cutters preferred when chiseling out stones for the Great Pyramid. Yes! -
    Kingsland: This word has the sound of conflict in the same word's meaning... -
    trimple: 'stonesoft' : Is a neolithic term for an 'Oxymoron' -
    Michaelk: The new software developer whose first game is a 'Call of Duty' shooter set in prehistoric times. -
    Mike Stevens: Trimple, are you calling me a moron?' lol! 'Sure Mike, use the most obvious reply comment imaginable!' -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C; I don't want to say anything, but this is probably THE best nonsense word EVER! -
    trimple: Exactly Kingsland...

    An oxymoron! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'crowdloner'!
    michaelcahill: Such was my devastation upon her rejection of me that I found no solace even in a conclave of circus clowns. You could say I was a crowdloner. -
    Michaelk: Standing in the front row of a Taylor Swift concert with your earphones in, playing Metallica at full volume. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Fantasticdowner'!
    William Walz: Got this one! One of the many variations of the fantasticdowner is watching a clandestine sex video of your wife having sex with your best friend--and her having the time of her life! Yes! -
    michaelcahill: I perform a backflip and hand-walk up to the podium naked when I realize that it was Maya Angelou's name announced for Pulitzer's Poet of the Twentieth Century.... -
    shelley kaye: when your kids move out into their own place?
    -
    Mike Stevens: Michael C. I think I'll skip those awards! -
    trimple: 'Fantasticdowner': Is a term used to describe a flaccid willy, immediately after a good romp between the sheets. -
    Mike Stevens: Get over it and get it on with 'Hard On, and On, and On..." -
    Michaelk: Winning five bucks in the lottery. -
    michaelcahill: Winning five bucks in the lottery as part of the office pool. -
    Michaelk: Yes, all hail the Mike's. Humanity shall bow to our superior monikers. :) -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Eliptoline'!
    Michaelk: The ointment I place on my sore body parts after being thrown off of the eliptical machine. :) -
    michaelcahill: That's the name I call Vicks Vap O Rub when I sell it to Mcihaelk for twenty bucks and ounce! -
    trimple: eliptoline: is a term used by cabin boys, up in the crows nest, to describe a full pint of milky moon, pouring its glassy reflection on the surface of the ocean's horizon.

    eliptoline: is also a term used by cheating students, who read their fellow students mouths that offer the correct answers.

    -
    Michaelk: Psst...Mikey C, ya got any Vap-o-rub? :) -
    Mike Stevens: Oh, I used the last of it to huff; I was fresh out of model glue, so I improvised! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'nineteenfiftydude'!
    Kaila Mari: "dude" was the name given to the nuclear shelters build in America for protection against the hydrogen bomb; thus 'nineteenfiftydude'! -
    michaelcahill: That was what was said to me when people met my last girlfriend... -
    William Walz: Got it! What the snotty girl told me my total was the last time I went to McDonalds! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: Kaila Mari; sounds like it just may be correct! -
    Mike Stevens: MC; hey, at least you HAVE an ex-girlfriend; all I've got is incredible baggage and an ex-wife! -
    Mike Stevens: William, did you at least offer to spring for the Big Mac? -
    Michaelk: What a surfer guy charges to wax your board. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Fracturewhole'!
    Michaelk: When an Earthquake and a Sinkhole collide. -
    michaelcahill: A fractured "a" hole is bad enough. A fractured "w" hole is almost always fatal. Somehow, Carrot Top survived it, go figure. -
    Mike Stevens: What, he's got more talent in his whole body than I have in half of my little finger! (That's NOT my middle finger!) -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "Maxhype'!
    shelley kaye: really easy one.... a hyper person named max....

    -
    trimple: "Maxhype': Inducing paranoia to control the masses.

    You will hear this saying often slung around the board rooms of 'Government, Arms dealer's and large Banking corporations' -
    michaelcahill: Thee top award given at the annual "Hopeless Junkies For Life Awards Ceremony". -
    Mike Stevens: I couldn't have said it better myself trimple! -
    Michaelk: Every political convention...ever. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Platicease'! (Plastic-ease!)
    michaelcahill: A mocking retort that lesbians shout at construction workers who whistle at them. -
    William Walz: Got it! After paleontologists discovered ten-million-year-old plastic dinosaurs buried in the Badlands of South Dakota they created a new epoch and called it the Platicease era! Yes! -
    William Walz: Did you see on the internet where they dug up the bones of what they believe was the first lesbian dinosaur? They're calling it the Lickalotofpuss. -
    trimple: 'Platicease' are the sighs heard from confident tectonic plates as they sit back and admire their new mountain formations. -
    William Walz: Don't be mad. I'm not very bright, and I'm only six and a half. -
    Michaelk: Plastic ease: A new compound implanted into the ground at garbage dump sites. It is intended to help de-compose trash...like a laxative for the earth. -
    Mike Stevens: Yeah, trimple; those bastards are 'Creatin' Crazy!' -
    Mike Stevens: Oh, I'm not mad, YET, William; and do your parents know you look at porn all day?! -
    Mike Stevens: Ha, Micheal K; Laxative for the Earth? Sounds like one of my stories, or at least it should be! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'yepism'!
    William Walz: Got it! "yepism" is the colloquial opposite of "nopeism", an affirmation spoken mostly by poor southern white trash and all those hapless individuals never having made it past the sixth grade. Yes! -
    Kingsland: Yep ism that there statement right... -
    shelley kaye: what you get when you watch dave on storage wars.... YUUUP!

    -
    Mike Stevens: William, I'm drinking my 6-pack of Billy Beer and gazing out the winder of my rented single-wide mobile home, and watch'in the 6-point buck that I'm a'gonna blow away, (thank God for the NRA!), just as soon as I stuff another wad of chewin' tabaccy in my nub-filled gob; now, what was you sayin' bout the meenen? -
    Mike Stevens: Shelley, I don't think I've ever seen that show, but if it's anything like 'Duck Dynasty', it must be a CLASSIC, cause that there is some HIGH culture, yep! -
    michaelcahill: The power of positive thinking mongst hillbillies. -
    trimple: A term used to describe a white collar worker who sucks up to his boss. -
    Michaelk: The pure rage that I feel every time I watch 'storage Wars' and listen to that idiot utter his catchphrase, "YEP!" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'hairballface'!
    William Walz: What I used to call my ex-wife during heated arguments, followed by moments of sheer terror for me, or her terrifying physical appearance when she had run out of razors. -
    shelley kaye: uhh.... what you get when your cat is on your lap and starts doing that coughing vomit lurch??
    -
    Mike Stevens: More commonly referred to as, "Oh, Gross!" -
    William Walz: You know her, Mike? I'm not surprised. So does everyone else who reads phone numbers scrawled on the stalls of sleazy bars in this town. -
    Mike Stevens: I KNEW going to sleazy bars would pay off! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Irememberedism'!
    trimple: Looking back at George Orwell's 'Animal Farm'
    I realise that equality just ain't part of the human condition... -
    Mike Stevens: I definitely think you're correct, unfortunately! -
    William Walz: Sad to say, it's what an Alzheimer patient might say, all too infrequently. -
    rosehill (Wendy): A cult that lops off their left arm then re-attaches it to remind themselves to always believe in the, "rightness," of their cause. -
    Mike Stevens: Rose, seems a bit extreme, but 'I'll buy THAT for a dollar!' -
    Mike Stevens: Otherwise known as a light bulb moment Michael! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "Iislateism"
    michaelcahill: An obscure French term. A faith adopted by an old Northern Californian couple that owns a flower company. They believe that if a body is buried before the flowers arrive they will return as lilies in their pond. Thus, they always deliver flowers to funerals late. They have a lot of lilies in their pond. -
    Mike Stevens: Good one, Michael; that's using the old noodle! -
    rosehill (Wendy): First documented in a ten- year study of the White Rabbit, it's adherants believe that no matter how early they rise in the morning, they are already behind. The Mad Hatter, a firm disciple of the cult, finally cracked under the stress and began to celebrate "Unbirthdays" to assuage his delusion that he was always belatedly wishing friends a happy one.- Wendy -
    Mike Stevens: Rose, what a long strange trip it's been reading your definition; and funny too! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is Igotchaanswerrighthere'!
    nor84: Poor spelling, grammar and punctuation version of: I've got your answer right here. -
    Michaelk: The place where five minutes ago, I grabbed my crotch and said, "I gotcha answer right here!" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'joemomma'
    nor84: Poorly pronounce version of 'your momma,' as in " Iz zat joemomma?" -
    William Walz: I'd try my own version, but I'm afraid Norma already nailed it. -
    michaelcahill: The unfortunate trend in Australia where upper middle class Kangaroo youngsters try to live the hip-hop lifestyle. -
    Mike Stevens: Eh, ha, ha; gotta love that kangaroo humor! -
    trimple: 'Joemomma' -- is the first word that every baby kangaroo yelps as it makes its long and arduous journey from the womb to the bounce of its mother's pouch. Only the 'J' is silent...
    -
    trimple: The aborigines are known to have heard this call many thousands of years ago, hence the word 'Boomerang' (which has been modernized) but used to be called 'oemamma.' -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'loserflakation'!
    trimple: A gambling addict, who has had a fantabulous day at the bookies, and puts all of his days takings on the last race, only to watch his horse break a leg an inth before the finishing line.

    'loserflakation'! is the sound he makes as he throws a paddy fit and ef's n blinds at the screen? -
    Michaelk: Kellogg's new cereal which features all the one hit wonder musicians of the eighties. -
    rosehill (Wendy): Political spin that come out of a Press Briefing on Military operations from, Robert Gibbs, Jay Carney, Josh Earnest or Baghdad Bob.
    -
    Mike Stevens: Michael K. isn't that the new cereal with marshmallow bits of pink hearts, yellow moons, and Menudo, along with various other flakes? -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is a foreign one, 'fragile' frag-il-e!
    Michaelk: When a computer is especially agile at defragging. :) -
    trimple: A delicate amazonian frog soup with a subtle twist of lime juice, dotted creme fresh, and a mint jelly coulis. -
    michaelcahill: The feeling of joy when one shoots a member of their own team that happens to be under the weather.
    -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'Calendarsprint'!
    Kingsland: I haven't look up the word yet. but here is my meaning without looking it up. It's a society that moves too fast.... -
    shelley kaye: i know this one! calendarsprint means rushing through life without stopping to relax and have fun....
    -
    trimple: Somebody born in a leap year, and then suddenly ages four years in one? -
    William Walz: Got it! Easiest one yet. Put another way it means that time flies, having fun or otherwise. -
    Mike Stevens: No, I'm afraid you're all incorrect; it's a year that seems to start fast, but by the end of the race is sucking--err--huge amounts of hot air! -
    Mike Stevens: Yep, I hate to give you the correct answer, but... -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'ampatheaterize'!
    trimple: To broadcast without a microphone, to all and sundry about just how bloody fantastic the unpainted canvas backdrop, entitled 'Snow' really is?

    -
    Kingsland: I think I will Bombilate about that word... -
    Mike Stevens: Bombilate; a regular explosive device that's running behind! -
    Kingsland: bombilate... make a certain noise or sound; "She went `Mmmmm'"; "The gun went `bang'" -
    Mike Stevens: Could be the definition, IF mine wasn't correct; I think it is; thanks for playing! -
    michaelcahill: To postulate living a life with effort to the point where you actually believe you are doing it... -


Mike Stevens: The word for today is 'apologinetisize'!
    Michaelk: "Could I supersize my apology please, with a side of humble pie." -
    michaelcahill: What the other Gods called it when Athena made fun of Appolo's small testicles. -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'assh**lian'! (I apologize for the language, but I don't get some people!)
    rosehill (Wendy): Someone who gets up in your face with a holier than thou attitude? -
    Mike Stevens: Rose, I think you're right on with your definition! -
    DIS-illusioned: A sacred, but forbidden, city from ancient, Biblical Israel--assh*lian.
    I believe my ex hails from there. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'truthilie'!
    rosehill (Wendy): When he says, "I love you," and really means it , not just to get you to sleep with him. -
    Mike Stevens: Well, except for the 'he' part, I will agree with you! -
    DIS-illusioned: When you finally confess that you're a habitual fibber: It's the 'truth, I lie'--truthilie. -
    William Walz: Truthilie is the comment made by any married woman to her husband after she's had a night out "with the girls." -
    Mike Stevens: "I cannot tell a lie Dis; even though it sounds like it could be the true definition, unfortunately, it's not; but thanks for playing; we have some incredible parting gifts for Dis; tell Dis what they've won, Joe!"

    'Well Proteus, for being so clever, Dis won't be going home empty-handed; the home version will be going along, for many seconds of enjoyment!" -
    Mike Stevens: So, THAT'S where she was--oh, I forgot William, I'm divorced; 'doh!' -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'delusiongood'!
    William Walz: Got it! It's the antithesis to the psychiatric condition known as "delusionbad". Delusiongood afflicts most celebrities, sports personalities, and Fanstory writers, whose true value is far less than their own perceived self-worth. Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: I think we have a winner; 'ding, ding, ding!' -
    shelley kaye: don't know what it is.... but it sounds like a very happy place....

    -
    Mike Stevens: Yes it does, as opposed to the bleak reality most of us face; lol! -
    michaelcahill: Always satisfying to have ones life validated. -
    DIS-illusioned: My holier-than-thou 5th cousin, obviously from my mother's side--delusiongood. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'stenchathon'!
    Michaelk: What happens when I drink milk or eat chili. :) -
    William Walz: Got it! It's that new Olympic competition where the participant with the most obnoxious body odor wins the gold medal--and a lifetime supply of Right Guard! Yes! -
    trimple: Annual skunk-off talent contest? -
    Mike Stevens: I fail to see the difference between that, and a political convention, trimple! -
    trimple: Aye ya right...

    I think Rosehill got it in one :) -
    michaelcahill: I think rather than a discussion of my writing that these should be more general terms... -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'inclusiveshun'!
    trimple: So where is my orgasm, you zipless slob! -
    William Walz: I know this one! This is what happened to me when I applied for membership at Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity during my freshman year at Stanford. They told me to get the f--k out and don't come back! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: I'm sorry trimple, but if it's an orgasm you want, I'm your man! (I'm not bragging, it's just a fact!) -
    Mike Stevens: William, I'm a little confused; what does 'f--k' stand for? -
    William Walz: It means folk. I had my accordion with me at the time. -
    trimple: Hi Mike

    Thank you for the offer LOL...

    Makes note in diary :) -
    Mike Stevens: You're quite welcome, always happy to put my extensive research and knowledge on the subject to good use! -
    michaelcahill: To shun and leave no one out. It is the desire to be meticulous in your shunning. One wouldn't want anyone on Earth to get the idea that they are an exception to the total disregard for humanity that is being expressed. -
    Michaelk: What militant special interest groups do. Include their members to shun those they don't agree with. -
    Mike Stevens: Sounds like you're describing what several people here do when it comes to a differing viewpoint politically; just pretend it doesn't exist! -
    Michaelk: Ahh...the Ostrich Syndrome. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'nothingism'!
    DIS-illusioned: The contents of the minds of the creator and repliers of the daily 'Today's word is' commentaries--nothingism. -
    William Walz: I got this one! What happens every time I suggest to my wife we have sex! Yes! -
    ravenblack: A kinder, gentler nihilism or plagiarism of a blank page . -
    Mike Stevens: Funny, William, I never have that problem with your wife; (sorry, his wife!) -
    Mike Stevens: Ravenblack; I like the thought of plagiarizing a blank page; if that were the case, I'd be sued up the wazzu! -
    Michaelk: Nothingism: The sound of a mute man screaming. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'popularmange'!
    William Walz: Easy one! It's that nasty skin disease making a comeback that is currently in vogue with all the yuppies! Yes! -
    shelley kaye: i know this one! it's a popular french eatery!

    (mange is eat in french)

    :-)

    -
    William Walz: It's okay, Shelley. Coming in second is better than not finishing the race at all. Love ya. Make 'em turn off the heat here in OC, will ya! -
    Mike Stevens: Well Shelley, I DID not know that; I have enough trouble with English! -
    michaelcahill: OMG! I thought it would never be back in vogue. I can leave my house again!!!!!! -
    Michaelk: I got nothing. You all nailed this one, Kudos. :) -
    Mike Stevens: Glad I could help, Michael C! Michaelk; having nothing has never stopped me! -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'manditovolunteerism'!
    shelley kaye: a call over the PA, "mandi to volunteer"
    ;-)

    -
    michaelcahill: That's a military term. It is what is required when a private is needed to rush a heavily armed bunker facing certain death: "It is mandatory for you to volunteer." Of course this causes the lower MANDIble of the soldier to drop suddenly. -
    DIS-illusioned: A situation in which a hick is so willing and eager to marry Mandi--with her dad's shotgun pointed at his temple. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'upchuckism'!
    William Walz: Got it! Akin to vomitism and reguritationism--the language spoken by those with severe alcohol impairment or by those individuals after partaking in an "all you can eat" mexican restaurant! Yes! -
    DIS-illusioned: What Chuck's best told him when he suddenly saw the bloke who'd sucker-punched Chuck earlier: 'Up, Chuck, it's him!'--upchuckism. -
    shelley kaye: the feeling when one reads too much romance poetry??

    ;-)

    -
    michaelcahill: The doggone cockeyed optimism that causes Chuck to keep getting up no matter how often he finds himself awaking in a pile of his own sick. -
    Mike Stevens: Good definitions all, causing laughism here! -
    Michaelk: Playing basketball in a pair of old style Chuck Taylor converse sneakers. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'yesterway'!
    William Walz: Got it! The highway that leads down memory lane. Yes! -
    shelley kaye: i have to agree with william.... this time....

    -
    michaelcahill: Returning to the present after becoming lost in the past via a long ago used route. -
    Michaelk: Describing the conditions of our national highways. -
    Mike Stevens: Shelley, I'm glad you happen to agree with William, because he's CORRECT! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'brainhammer'!
    William Walz: I got it! It's what every good brain surgeon has in his tool box along with a brainchisel, a brainsaw and a brainscooper! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: William; great try, and funny too, but Brainhammer is actually the malt liquor the surgeon guzzles with a funnel before leaving for work! -
    shelley kaye: what's inside my head when i have a migraine....

    -
    Michaelk: What I wish I had every time I make a stupid mistake. -
    Mike Stevens: Shelley, so far at least, I haven't had the pleasure of a migraine; nasty I've heard! -
    michaelcahill: What someone says that is having a brain hemorrhage when you ask him, "what's wrong?" -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'phallicist'!
    michaelcahill: The condition that causes women to want to be with me and men to wish they were like me. -
    pipersfancy: No, Mikey - I'm pretty sure it's a pharmacist who specializes in handing out meds for E.D... -
    shelley kaye: you're both wrong.... it's a cist on a phall ;-)

    -
    Mike Stevens: MichaelC-you wish! Piperfancy; I fail to understand what Errant Dancing has to do with it, and they make a pill for that? Shelly, once again, you nailed it! -
    michaelcahill: If you have a cist on your phall, you're beyond the help that a pill can provide.
    "You wish"... That's exactly what the genie told me... -
    michaelcahill: Oh, "errant dancing". I thought it was erectile dancing. I never understood what the pill was for, to cause it to occur?

    Am I getting to far out there?

    -
    Mike Stevens: Michaelc-in reality, I'll bet your three wishes were; 1. to find it without help; 2. to find it WITH help, and 3. wishing the hot female genie would help you find it, and are you kidding; too far out there for me?

    pipersfancy: Conga, is that what they're calling it now? "These kids today; everything is Conga, whatever happened to romance?"
    -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'prongism'!
    Nick©: Still waiting for borborygmus...


    *sigh.* -
    michaelcahill: What society feels about making love in a Devil's costume... It's just prong! -
    Michaelk: The fear of a mildly successful, now defunct Heavy Metal band. -


Mike Stevens: The word for today is "Awhyvalve"!
    michaelcahill: "Rather slippery of you Agent Starling." (too obscure for anyone to get. I'm rolling on the floor. auto-amusement.) -
    Mike Stevens: Instead of auto-amusement, you should find somebody else to help you with that; it's MUCH healthier! -
    William Walz: I know this one! What an incompetent auto mechanic sees when he looks at an engine block! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: That definition's a good one, but I'm going to go against my usual policy of non-interference and give you the actual one; 'a whyvalve is a valve who ponders the mysteries of the universe'! -
    Michaelk: Awhyvalve is the valve that teachers do their very best to turn off in their students over the course of their school career. -
    Mike Stevens: I believe the valve teachers use is the 'Nofunzies' valve! -
    Mike Stevens: I believe the valve teachers use is the 'Nofunzies' valve! -


Mike Stevens: the word for today is 'allaboardism'!
    William Walz: Got it! What the train conductor yells to the passengers just before the train is about to leave! -
    William Walz: Reminds me of the new technique being used now for pregnant women to terminate their pregnancies. The pregnant women line up next to the waiting train and the conductor yells out, "All abort!" -
    Michaelk: When a muslim rides a surfboard. -
    michaelcahill: That's easy, also known as "Paris Hilton syndrome". -
    shelley kaye: a side effect of ptsd of a retired train conductor....
    -


Mike Stevens: The word for today is "Palmtreeism"!
    Kaila Mari: The belief that all palms are trees but not all trees are palms. -
    michaelcahill: The delusion that men have when they are urinating of being uncommonly endowed. -
    Mike Stevens:
    Michael, for me, that's NOT a delusion; right! -
    Kaila Mari: Psychiatry: A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, ... -
    Mike Stevens: 'Quack, quack!' I don't really know; just a lame excuse for a joke! -
    William Walz: I know this one! The phenomena that occurs when large, spiny plants sprout from the palms of filthy, unwashed, dirt-encrusted hands! Yes! -
    Michaelk: The irrational fear that a coconut is about to fall on your head. Skipper got this every time Gilligan climbed a palm tree. -
    Mike Stevens: 'Gilligan's Island', you know, most people think of it as an outrageous comedy, but not I; no, I like to think of it as a deep commentary on society, with hidden depths of meaning! -
    Michaelk: The kingdom of poorly set plaster of paris. -
    Mike Stevens: You lucky people, you get two words, count 'em, TWO words today! -


Mike Stevens: The word for today is 'quisimotoized'!
    michaelcahill: a deformity of the back combined with vowel confusion that occurs when passing through a defective replicator. -
    Michaelk: What the 'Quizino's' delivery drivers call themselves. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'TransAmotion'!
    William Walz: I know that one! Back in the day, it's that incomparable high I used to get driving my Pontiac Trans Am well over the speed limit and ditching the cops. -
    Mike Stevens: Oh, you got it right off the bat; but please don't tell the other contestants; it'll be our secret, okay! -
    patcelaw: Can we give a silly answer to make it funny?
    -
    michaelcahill: No! We don't allow humor here at FanStory. Or shenanigans. It leads to lollygaggin'... -
    Mike Stevens: You can if you want Patricia, but I'm always totally serious! Like Michael said, no humor allowed; just because these words don't exist in nature... -
    Michaelk: The act of doing doughnuts in your Trans Am until the tires melt. -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is "napalmosis"
    Thorin's.elf: The condition of having been napalmed. How sad that we know this.
    -
    Michaelk: The condition of Osmosis happening in Napal. -
    Mike Stevens: Thorin's elf; yeah, this is probably too true to be humorous! -
    Mike Stevens: Yes, Michaelk; a little Napal humor, you gotta love it! -
    DIS-illusioned: What God told Moses when he asked what route to take to Egypt: 'Nepal, Moses'--napalmosis. :-/
    And the obvious tedium of my life progresses.... -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'forgetfulease"
    shelley kaye: yea, it is very easy to forget things lol ;-)

    -
    Mike Stevens: I DID know the definition, but I forgot; sorry about the lame and obvious joke!
    -
    William Walz: I know this one! It's the language spoken by someone with severe memory impairment, much the same as mumsthewordease! Yes! -
    Michaelk: Damn! That was my answer. You've won this round Walz, but mark my words, I will...Oooh, something shiny.
    ...
    What was I saying? -


Mike Stevens: Today's word 'Neaderthalism'!
    William Walz: I know that one! It's anything said by Roger Goodell! Yes! -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'whatistheword?"
    Michaelk: So, whatistheword is the word? So then what is the word?
    'whatistheword.'
    but if whatistheword is the word then the how do you define the word?
    'What word?'
    whatistheword?
    'I don't know, you asked me.'
    What?
    'whatistheword'
    That's what I'm asking you.
    'What?'
    whatistheword?
    'Right.'
    (Steam begins to pour from Michael's ears. His eyes become unfocused and he begins to shake. Finally, unable to take the strain, his head explodes like a giant zit.)
    -
    William Walz: I know that one! Whatistheword is going on here! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: Good guesses all, and who's to say who's on third? No, no, he's on fir---! -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'Colbertism' I know what Shelley said, but damn it, it's the word, okay?
    Mike Stevens: Yeah, I sort of stole the idea of fake words from Steven Colbert of The Colbert Report; I'm not nearly clever enough to think up something like this on my own lol! One of his famous words is 'truthiness'! -
    DIS-illusioned: An uneducated guy blaming excessive freezing on some dude: Col' but it's him--Colbertism. -
    Mike Stevens: That was a good guess, Dis, judges? 'awwwwwwww', incorrect; but thanks for playing our game! -
    Michaelk: The medical condition that results from whipping your head back and forth between cameras like Steven Colbert. -
    trimple: Does the word 'Colbertism', refer to Margaret Thatcher's closure of the coal mines? -
    Mike Stevens: Nation, MichaelK has come up with what just may be the correct answer, and it's from a guy named Mike, so it's probably correct! -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is "dorkism"!
    shelley kaye: "-Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself." (ferris bueller)

    ;-)

    -
    William Walz: I know that one! It's any witty thing said by Dork Bogarde! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: Shelley, anything said by Ferris B. MUST be wisdom of the highest order! -
    Mike Stevens: William; you're on the right track; I won't say you're right, because that wouldn't be fair to the other contestants, but... -
    patcelaw: dorkism one who finds fault with every sentence you write in a story.
    -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'wordforester'!
    shelley kaye: a writer with a private cabin in the forest! ;-)

    -
    Mike Stevens: Oh so close Shelley, but thanks for playing our game; you may not have won, but you won't go home empty handed! You'll be leaving with a ten year supply of Rice-a-Roni! -
    Mike Stevens: Okay, I'll give you a hint; think language lumberjack; gee, that doesn't help at all! -
    DIS-illusioned: A lumberjack in the forest who chops down words along with timber.
    Or...Mr. Forester's urban black friend assuring him of a claim: 'Word, Forester.' -
    Michaelk: DIS: Lol, big time!
    Mike: (Great name, by the way:)) Wordforester: The newest model of Subaru that runs on ground up dictionaries. :) -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'internalswerver'!
    William Walz: That's what happens when your wife comes after you with a machete for cheating on her. -
    Michaelk: Sounds like one of those old 'Imtel inside' commercials, with dancers in poodle skirts dance around inside a computer. -
    Mike Stevens: It's that internal warning device that tells you to just avoid saying something stupid; mine seems to be broken! -


Mike Stevens: Today's word is 'crocodilian'!
    DIS-illusioned: And where, pray tell, may we find this metagrobolizd word, that we may destroy it?! -
    Michaelk: A millionaire crocodile. or would that be a croconaire? -
    Mike Stevens: Good guesses all, and oddly enough, both correct; as for hunting it down and killing it, it's out of season, so the fine would be HUGE! -


Mike Stevens: The word today is fillupian"!
    William Walz: I know that one! Once a month women have unfertilized embryos pass down their fillupian tubes! Yes! -
    Mike Stevens: Yep, but please don't tell anyone the correct answer! Let them try to figure it out! -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is Italian, 'tortalicious'!
    gypsycaravan: No, William, surely it means a good tasting tortilla. -
    nor84: Or a tasty turtle. -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is "crabologist"!
    shelley kaye: sounds like my daughter when she wakes up in the morning....

    -
    William Walz: I could have used a good crabologist after a drunken, carnal weekend in TJ. -
    Mike Stevens: I can't figure out how to thank Shelley individually; in the immortal words of Forrest Gump, "I'm not a smart man!" Well, anyway, thanks Shelley! -


Mike Stevens: The word of the day is 'elongation'!
    William Walz: Sounds like the cure for erectile dysfunction. -


Mike Stevens: It says put what you'd like to say here, so, "Hey, you have a great day, hear?"* note the varied usage of the same word meaning two separate things; huh?"?


Mike Stevens: Still nothing to say, but I'm not going to let that stop me; so, tell me, how ARE you doing?
    Imogen JH: I'd tell you how I'm doing. However, I have nothing to say. -
    jadapenn: I'm doing my thing just fine. It's still winter here so I'm allowed to do it the way I do it. LOL! -


Mike Stevens: Got absolutely NOTHING to say; check back tomorrow, although I wouldn't hold my breath!
    Kingsland: If silence is golden, how come I ain't rich then... -
    Imogen JH: Because you talk too much 'Kingsland' -
    Walu Feral: This is Master Bates from Fox news, do you have a quick comment? -