What In The Hell Was I Thinking

by JPilcher

Have you ever found yourself reflecting back on your past, sometimes maybe even replaying many of the exact same moments, over and over again?

I know there is no way I could possibly be alone here, let alone in the minority being we're all human beings. It's something we do and for all sorts of reasons.

For reasons that vary from those we will never know why, to reliving moments we want to remember forever, ones we wish we could forget or change, some regret.

For me, it's me finding myself wondering (what feels far too often!) things like; "What the hell was I thinking?" or "Was I even thinking at all?"

Or I even find myself laughing, thinking "I know I probably shouldn't think that's still funny, but I know for a fact it will always be funny to me."

Many of those moments though, they are reasons I'm grateful to have taken time to have learned from. Thankful I know today whatever I didn't know then.

The one that really gets me though, was one I did repeatedly, because I didn't know better to do better, apparently. At least not until it was too late.

Years of childhood just wasted away for the day I couldn't barely stand to wait for the day that I would become the adult and finally do whatever it was that I wanted.

I have always been told that I had quite an imagination back then, but now I wonder if maybe I was partially delusional, because me "adulting" looked nothing like "this"

I mean, seriously.. What in the hell was I thinking?

JPilcher (10/31/18)

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Reflecting back on the past..

What In The Hell Was I Thinking

by JPilcher

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