Chapter in Lives of Two Lost Souls

by Ogden

SATIRE WARNING! Some readers will find this poem to be politically incorrect. (See author's note below, regarding this work's atypical approach to your poetry receptors.)

2016 A decade after the Trump vs. Clinton fiasco

Trump and Hillary took a trip, out of the world in a rocket ship.

Sharing the Earth-to-Mars voyage wasn't consensually;
Earth declared them dangerous distractions, eventually.

Be not misled by the terrified head shown above the poem; it wasn't a ghost he was dreading.
That unflattering likeness depicts a mature Martian male, upon seeing his first human being.
Contrary to our human misperceptions of Martians' features, they truly are alluring creatures
Their women, by any measure, are captivating, and most would be "tens" by The Donald's grading.
(Should they emigrate to the United States, side by side, face to face, they'd make our beauties seem..... poopy!)

The Martians, you'll see, are a key to this story of the exiles' quest for redemption and glory.

After the big election that Donald won for sure,
The victor promptly went on a victory tour.
The loser, with three million more voters than he,
Was way down in the dumps, not unexpectedly.
The sudden change in their futures were accepted, inevitably,
He, certainly, much more reluctant, understandably, than she.

The task now at hand was to understand how to be aliens in an alien land.
Mars, as Earth knew, was benighted then, the Martians hadn't invited them - much to be planned.
The three camps had different agendas, and all aimed at improvements,
But each aim decidedly different, to advance their own movements:
Hillary was determined to improve conditions on Mars,
The mortally moribund Martians, to make their lives more like ours,
Trump to improve his chances of enhancing his financials so dismal,
Which at that point in time were distressfully less than infinitesimal.
(That little joke means he was broke.)
His credit was worst since his silver-spoon-in-the-mouth birth.
He had borrowed, and owed every last millionaire on Earth.
Why Trump thought US money would matter on Mars, is anyone's guess,
But he was consumed with that soon to be extinct medium, nevertheless.

Aloft, they were separated by seven strapping "Secret Servants."
(Now how could they be deemed "secret," by anyone at all observant,
considering there were only nine of them sojourning on the ship,
not including incurious mobile robots controlling the trip?)

The Earth nine would live out their time in the chilly Martian clime.
(Trump had continued to spurn showing his income tax return,
And Hillary never shook it since Donald dubbed her 'Crooked.')
Neither knew why seven Secret Servants guys would be stranded there,
But it doesn't seem to matter, because they didn't seem to care.

The deportees had plenty of time to plan for life on Mars.
And, no surprise, they each intended to establish powers:
Hillary had schemes for a Martian education system;
The Martians, it seems, had no schools, and so they never missed them.
Trump plotted en route, conjuring ways, Hillary to do in:
Before this played out, he vowed, he'd attend to Hillary's ru-in!
(It wasn't enough he defeated her once for president;
Trump had to be sure she'd be a minor Martian resident.)

Ere they arrived, the ever clever Donald Trump had devised
A plot contrived to ensure forever, Hillary'd be despised.
He'd make a new phrase for her, to impede new praise for her.
No more 'Crooked' Hillary'; on Mars her harsh new name would be,
to all Martian citizenry, "The Evil Witch, Hillary."
Martians were superstitious, and would pillory Hillary.
They'd rid Donald's planet of the witch, the worst Martian thing!
And Donald Trump was a cinch to be the first Martian king!
~~~~ ~~~~
I'll tell you now, all that jazz never came to pass.
Martian masses found Trump a pain in their asses,
and stuffed his loud yapper with red Martian grasses.
(They had no context to punish a reprobate
So they improvised with Trump as the initiate.)
They put him in a pit in a hut of stone,
And shut him into it, and left him there alone.
I'll tell you why they couldn't stand the guy.
Martian cultures don't have a word for "lie."
And many Trump traits, Martians came to hate,
And other things Martians didn't know.
Like ego and braggadocio;
Then they decided Donald had to go,
But didn't know how to act controversial
After many centuries of Martian inertia.

Mars folk had mastered English, fully and quick, and hated that nasty Donald's bullyman shtick.
At the same time, most modern Martians avidly admired Hillary's teaching abilities, and how easily she ditched that "Evil Witch" adversity.
With no fray, Hillary made hay, day by day, as many Martians gained status and fame at her Mars University.
~~~~ ~~~~
What Trump didn't know, the seven secret servant men's secret was a plot;
They had orders from the American government to stage a coup d'etat.
He had been tried in absentia by rulers that then were in favor,
And the seven secret servants men's job was to work Donald Trump at hardest Mars labor.
Five years, paid at minimum wage, in Martian money, and that setback is very funny!
You see, Martian workers were paid in honey. So Trump got stuck with just gobs of sticky money.
Held in isolation, he had just one consolation - there was not a Martian tax on sticky Martian honey.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
(You may wonder what became of Trump, ordered re-deported to Earth, the planet of his birth. TO BE CONTINUED?)

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2026. A sly romp, ten years into the future.

Chapter in Lives of Two Lost Souls

by Ogden

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