| Satire Fiction posted April 4, 2016 |
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It may be later than you think!
Donald Trump Vs. God
by Ogden
My sincere thanks to FanArt's lynnkah for this inspiring illustration.
God in Heaven, always simultaneously aware of all that pertained to His most extensive creation, the cosmos, recently was focusing on a particular speck of matter in one of His small constellations, a planet orbiting a minor sun.
He was contemplating whether this planet, a most unusual and problematical experiment, warranted the millennia of tinkering it had been given, or be designated for destruction. What distinguished the otherwise insignificant planet from all others in the universes, were imperfect creatures. The Creator had imbued these beings, unique from all that ever had existed, the potential, either by design or avoidable ignorance, to destroy an entity The Lord, Himself, had caused to exist.
God had determined not to preempt man's free will, but occasionally to give him signs of His wishes, sometimes using simple miracles, or, if necessary, by sending prophets or even angels, to visit Earth as his emissaries.
But the unprecedented mission at hand required a departure from traditional methodology. Therefore, The Lord summoned his son, Jesus, Heaven's foremost authority on human behavior, and instructed him to deliver a proposition to one Donald Trump, an ambitious and potentially earth-shattering demagogue who was attempting to become the leader of a portion of Earth's population, and, eventually, the entire planet.
One night, a spectral hologram suddenly interrupted Trump's favorite dream, the one in which he corners the world's supply of food. Trump recognized the intruder, but said dismissively, "Excuse me, but I'm just getting to the best part!" Jesus, undeterred, said, "Donald Trump, do you desire the opportunity to go down in all of human history as the most admired American president ever to walk the Earth?" Trump responded with an immediate reply of uncustomary resolve, "Jesus! yes!!" To this, the Messenger gently and solemnly intoned, "Then abide what I say. These are traits you must master. Always treat all of mankind with kindness, and every individual with equality." The denizens of Heaven smiled, concerned about the impending crisis on Earth, every one now hopeful that Trump's inherent goodness would allow the Earth Experiment to continue.
The next night, Donald Trump could not sleep. "It's not fair!" he was complaining aloud in his empty bedroom to the thousands of empathic supporters in his head. "They'll say I didn't treat that illegal immigrant waiter equally. That's unfair! I did treat him equally! I always tell them all to go the hell back to where they came from! 'All Americans are created equal!' It's in the Bible! I will become known as the most admired American president of all time. Nobody is more admired than me!" The shouting and applauding in Trump's delusional head abruptly silenced, as he continued, "I..."
"Mister Trump!" God's startlingly manifested Presence interrupted the mewling monologue. "This will be your only opportunity to be forgiven for all your sins, and, mercifully, considering your past deeds, for your name to be enshrined in perpetuity.
"When I created man, I gave him the gift of free will in order to enable him to manage Earth and utilize that gift not only to be its caretaker, but to use his intellect for the betterment of the planet. Unfortunately, Mister Trump, your free will is leading you on the path to precipitate the obliteration of your temporary home, my planet. I am proposing an offer you may accept or refuse. This is the proposal: You must heed my advice. It is essential that you speak only the truth. Do not express another falsehood hereafter, and retract those for which you have been widely criticized since you declared your political ambitions. I, who sanctioned your very existence, urge you to fulfill these terms before the eighth of November of this year. If you have complied, you will be rewarded. You will become President of the United States; and furthermore, all portals to Paradise will be emblazoned eternally in flamboyant, preternatural lights reading 'Welcome to Trump's Heaven!' That's my final offer."
With those words, all signs of The Almighty vanished from Trump's perception.
"That was easy," was his initial reaction after The Lord departed. "Trump's Heaven,"... not bad... but I don't know about those 'peternatal lights,'" mused The Donald. "Was he conning me? I got to be smart with this. Let's see, he told me to 'heed' him. I am heeding, right? I'm heeding!"
Donald's mental deal machine was in high gear now. "They always say that's their final offer. Maybe he's low-balling me. Yeah, he should throw some more skin in the pot. What's he got to lose, anyway? He's got more money than Go... My God, he is God! Yes, He can do a lot better. Let's see... maybe The Pearly Gates..."
The conclusion to this historic narrative will be revealed in due course.
Political Flash Fiction contest entry
God in Heaven, always simultaneously aware of all that pertained to His most extensive creation, the cosmos, recently was focusing on a particular speck of matter in one of His small constellations, a planet orbiting a minor sun.
He was contemplating whether this planet, a most unusual and problematical experiment, warranted the millennia of tinkering it had been given, or be designated for destruction. What distinguished the otherwise insignificant planet from all others in the universes, were imperfect creatures. The Creator had imbued these beings, unique from all that ever had existed, the potential, either by design or avoidable ignorance, to destroy an entity The Lord, Himself, had caused to exist.
God had determined not to preempt man's free will, but occasionally to give him signs of His wishes, sometimes using simple miracles, or, if necessary, by sending prophets or even angels, to visit Earth as his emissaries.
But the unprecedented mission at hand required a departure from traditional methodology. Therefore, The Lord summoned his son, Jesus, Heaven's foremost authority on human behavior, and instructed him to deliver a proposition to one Donald Trump, an ambitious and potentially earth-shattering demagogue who was attempting to become the leader of a portion of Earth's population, and, eventually, the entire planet.
One night, a spectral hologram suddenly interrupted Trump's favorite dream, the one in which he corners the world's supply of food. Trump recognized the intruder, but said dismissively, "Excuse me, but I'm just getting to the best part!" Jesus, undeterred, said, "Donald Trump, do you desire the opportunity to go down in all of human history as the most admired American president ever to walk the Earth?" Trump responded with an immediate reply of uncustomary resolve, "Jesus! yes!!" To this, the Messenger gently and solemnly intoned, "Then abide what I say. These are traits you must master. Always treat all of mankind with kindness, and every individual with equality." The denizens of Heaven smiled, concerned about the impending crisis on Earth, every one now hopeful that Trump's inherent goodness would allow the Earth Experiment to continue.
The next night, Donald Trump could not sleep. "It's not fair!" he was complaining aloud in his empty bedroom to the thousands of empathic supporters in his head. "They'll say I didn't treat that illegal immigrant waiter equally. That's unfair! I did treat him equally! I always tell them all to go the hell back to where they came from! 'All Americans are created equal!' It's in the Bible! I will become known as the most admired American president of all time. Nobody is more admired than me!" The shouting and applauding in Trump's delusional head abruptly silenced, as he continued, "I..."
"Mister Trump!" God's startlingly manifested Presence interrupted the mewling monologue. "This will be your only opportunity to be forgiven for all your sins, and, mercifully, considering your past deeds, for your name to be enshrined in perpetuity.
"When I created man, I gave him the gift of free will in order to enable him to manage Earth and utilize that gift not only to be its caretaker, but to use his intellect for the betterment of the planet. Unfortunately, Mister Trump, your free will is leading you on the path to precipitate the obliteration of your temporary home, my planet. I am proposing an offer you may accept or refuse. This is the proposal: You must heed my advice. It is essential that you speak only the truth. Do not express another falsehood hereafter, and retract those for which you have been widely criticized since you declared your political ambitions. I, who sanctioned your very existence, urge you to fulfill these terms before the eighth of November of this year. If you have complied, you will be rewarded. You will become President of the United States; and furthermore, all portals to Paradise will be emblazoned eternally in flamboyant, preternatural lights reading 'Welcome to Trump's Heaven!' That's my final offer."
With those words, all signs of The Almighty vanished from Trump's perception.
"That was easy," was his initial reaction after The Lord departed. "Trump's Heaven,"... not bad... but I don't know about those 'peternatal lights,'" mused The Donald. "Was he conning me? I got to be smart with this. Let's see, he told me to 'heed' him. I am heeding, right? I'm heeding!"
Donald's mental deal machine was in high gear now. "They always say that's their final offer. Maybe he's low-balling me. Yeah, he should throw some more skin in the pot. What's he got to lose, anyway? He's got more money than Go... My God, he is God! Yes, He can do a lot better. Let's see... maybe The Pearly Gates..."
The conclusion to this historic narrative will be revealed in due course.
 Recognized |
Preternatural (mispronounced by Trump, skeptical, but having no idea of its meaning): Beyond what is normal or natural.
Pays
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and 2 member cents. Artwork by lynnkah at FanArtReview.com
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