Humor Poetry posted November 19, 2023

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A Thanksgiving poem

Herky the Turkey

by Jim Wile

  Old Herky was a turkey and a very clever bird.
  It’s a proposition you may think absurd,
  for turkeys are not known for smarts;
  stupidity runs off the charts.
  That’s probably what most of you have heard.

  Old Herky didn’t want to be the big Thanksgiving feast.
  ‘Twas a job for which he must become deceased.
  One day, while strutting all around,
  he found a mask upon the ground.
  A gift from Halloween lay at his feet.

  If only he could figure out a way to use the mask
  so he’d scare the Farmer from the dreadful task
  of choosing him to be the treat
  that friends and family love to eat.
  “Is THAT too much to hope for?” Herky asked.

  But then he had a brainstorm, and the animals all fled,
  when he donned the frightful mask upon his head.
  Like a Banshee Herky wailed,
  and the animals all paled.
  How this dry run filled the barnyard full of dread!

  What Herky didn’t know was that the barnyard’s full of spies
  who informed the Farmer, spoiling his surprise.
  It really wasn’t fair
  because he’d planned his scheme with care.
  It was treachery that led to his demise.

  They stuffed him, and they cooked him. He’s the highlight of the day,
  and the guests who came from places far away
  were thankful they could savor
  the incomparable flavor
  of old Herky, who upon a platter lay.

  The moral of this story of a bird who didn’t wait
  and exposed the brilliant plan to spare his fate:
  “You must beware of spies
  who can spoil the best surprise
  lest you turn into a meal on someone’s plate.”



You may have heard that turkeys are so dumb that they will stand in the yard, staring up at the rain with their mouths open, and drown in the process. This is an urban legend.

It was denied vehemently by a turkey owner who answered this in a forum I read who said her turkeys never drowned in the rain, but instead would huddle together miserably in their pen even when it then started to sleet, and shelter was only five feet away.

I think she refuted the evidence but not the original premise.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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