Second Chance
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Chapter 5: Second Chance"The tribulations of a Nashville street urchin
8 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, sir, sometimes there just seems to be a sign that shows up to let you know where the story and even life are going. But just as easily as it does, it can change. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Yes, sir, sometimes there just seems to be a sign that shows up to let you know where the story and even life are going. But just as easily as it does, it can change. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Many twists and turns are forthcoming in this story. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
This chapter has a lot of tension in it. You did a good job and I enjoyed the read. I found one place where you need a comma. ( something he was a friend of yours.") I suggest putting a comma after something. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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This chapter has a lot of tension in it. You did a good job and I enjoyed the read. I found one place where you need a comma. ( something he was a friend of yours.") I suggest putting a comma after something. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Much appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Something to think about. I counted 19 paragraphs, I could have miss counted, but 7 started with Chance. You might want to vary the beginnings a little more. The Chances stopped my reading, Maybe it's just me.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Something to think about. I counted 19 paragraphs, I could have miss counted, but 7 started with Chance. You might want to vary the beginnings a little more. The Chances stopped my reading, Maybe it's just me.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Appreciate the review and the suggestion.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm a little confused as why Chance seems to be talking to a tombstone. He knows the three men he is dealing with want to cut him out of the action but he seems to have something on them that they don't know about. I may be missing something, but I plan to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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I'm a little confused as why Chance seems to be talking to a tombstone. He knows the three men he is dealing with want to cut him out of the action but he seems to have something on them that they don't know about. I may be missing something, but I plan to see what happens next.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Always appreciate your insights and reviews. Very much spot on.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow. That was great. I love how you personified Chance. This is a beautifully written chapter. You do a great job with your descriptions and pacing making this an easy and enjoyable (and interesting) read.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Wow. That was great. I love how you personified Chance. This is a beautifully written chapter. You do a great job with your descriptions and pacing making this an easy and enjoyable (and interesting) read.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Sankey
Eerie, good reading. Creepy stuff this. I don't think we got anywhere a few chapters back where those guys were waiting to take advantage of Chance? FS wants me to say more. What more can I say? No spags.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Eerie, good reading. Creepy stuff this. I don't think we got anywhere a few chapters back where those guys were waiting to take advantage of Chance? FS wants me to say more. What more can I say? No spags.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Appreciate your insights and review.
Comment from lancellot
This read easy and had that old detective noir feel to it. The words and the tone scream mystery and a hint of intrigue mixed with danger.
Well done.
"That's a peculiar place to build a nest," [He] said out loud.
-should this be: he
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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This read easy and had that old detective noir feel to it. The words and the tone scream mystery and a hint of intrigue mixed with danger.
Well done.
"That's a peculiar place to build a nest," [He] said out loud.
-should this be: he
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Appreciate your strong support, insights, and the review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Wickedly clever--a delight to read! Cheers. LIZ
(Chance [encouraged s/b said to] the bartender; so sudden, Chance was s/b so suddenly [that or semicolon] Chance was; gained Andrews trust s/b Andrews' or Andrews's trust; and [IN THE] sunset quiet murmured; a key [omit missing] piece ... remained to be found; at an incomprehensible snail's pace, especially for anyone who hadn't... s/b at a snail's pace, which was incomprehensible to one who hadn't; palm and fingers [omit of a hand]; internment (imprisonment) s/b interment (burial); an eerie silence, as though stranded ... fell s/b an eerie silence fell; he felt as though he were stranded ...; [omit Unbothered, a tranquil] calmness placated the air
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2020
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Wickedly clever--a delight to read! Cheers. LIZ
(Chance [encouraged s/b said to] the bartender; so sudden, Chance was s/b so suddenly [that or semicolon] Chance was; gained Andrews trust s/b Andrews' or Andrews's trust; and [IN THE] sunset quiet murmured; a key [omit missing] piece ... remained to be found; at an incomprehensible snail's pace, especially for anyone who hadn't... s/b at a snail's pace, which was incomprehensible to one who hadn't; palm and fingers [omit of a hand]; internment (imprisonment) s/b interment (burial); an eerie silence, as though stranded ... fell s/b an eerie silence fell; he felt as though he were stranded ...; [omit Unbothered, a tranquil] calmness placated the air
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2020
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the comments and the review.
