Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

He may be committed now. God help all the people there. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, believable, start to finish. I know Joseph is a killer, but I still find myself feeling sorry for him what he went through.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thank you, Mistydawn :)

So thrilled you feel sorry for Joseph. That is exactly what I want readers to feel. I know villains are supposed to be hated, but I tend to root for the underdog. Most of all my bad guys have moved to the good side and given a second chance.
Maybe Joseph will get that too. :)

Thanks for taking the time to read my chapter. I always appreciate you!

Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from AJ McCall

Exceptional

Oh, man... this just got good. A former police officer now a therapist meets Joseph. In the recording, she heard a third voice... CREEPY! This shadow thing is serious, what will Dr. Mendoza do? And I have a small suggestion, since you wrote she's dark-skinned I'm assuming she's black, and in the ending paragraph you said she went pale. We dark people don't usually go pale, but maybe she could shiver or something like that. But I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thank you, AJ :)

So glad you enjoyed the chapter. And thanks for the tip. I did not know African Americans could not go pale. My good male friend is black but I never thought to ask about that. He was sick one day, and his color looked a little off, but not really pale. He did mention when he blushes, no one knows since he's so dark (a gorgeous chocolate by the way, wink, wink). So glad you pointed that one out. I will definitely change that and remember moving on.

Thanks for the great review and the helpful advice. You are awesome!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

reply by AJ McCall on 14-Oct-2020

Haha! You're welcome! Aww, thank you!

Comment from ngage

Excellent

Captivating artwork and fantastic chapter, Ms. Shana! Wow, you had me worried that the Shadow was going to talk Joseph into eating his therapist.
It's strange she's the officer from his childhood. I wonder how this will go. You've got my interest piqued for sure. Although Joseph is a killer for the voice in his head, I still feel sorry for the guy. Lol!

Great writing!
Nate

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thanks Nate :)

Your encouraging words always make me feel so good about my writing. Sometimes a writer starts to wonder if the story is good enough or entertaining. You keep me on track!

Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Excellent

A fantastic episode, complete with times from his past, where he had killed his father, a beater of his mother, and someone who was diagnosed as a schizophrenic, and put away in a mental, his present doctor Dr. Mendoza hears a background voice, saying "kill her" I wonder what she'll do about this. Beautifully written dear girl. This in interesting, more about him now. Well done. Blessings Roy

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thanks Roy :)

Yes, Joseph is definitely going to be trouble for humans with the Shadow encouraging him to kill. Maybe the Breedline will step in and help him get rid of the evil entity.

Thanks so much!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 14-Oct-2020

Bless you dear dirk, I slipped on the six, sorry,

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

I know you set it up this way but I really don't like that thing in Joseph. Gives me the creeps. You did a great job with this chapter and I didn't find any errors. Have a great day. Shirley

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thank you, Shirley :)

Yes... the Shadow is supposed to give the reader a sense of creepiness. He is going to be trouble for the Breedline. Hopefully they can destroy this evil entity inside Joseph before it's too late.

Thanks for taking the time to read my chapter. I appreciate you.

Stay safe!
Shana :)

Comment from Ben B.

Excellent

Hmm...the Shadow. Reminds me of an old time radio show I used to watch. Was your Shadow responsible for the death of Joeseph's father? Interesting chapter.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thank you, Ben B. :)

The Shadow is an evil entity who possesses Joseph as a child during a dreadful incident. At age five, his father beat his mother to death. In that moment, the Shadow took hold of Joseph. Later, his father was sent to prison for twenty years. All Joseph's life-living in foster homes and eventually placed into a mental institute for hearing voices-he has believed this evil presence is helping him. When he's finally released from the institute, he finds his father-who is now out of prison-and kills him.
I hope that gives you some of the back story.

Thanks again,
Shana :)

Comment from fm wright

Exceptional

Wonderful chapter. It had me spellbound the entire way. I like how you're bringing out Joseph's past. And the third voice on the recording being brought out is a great touch. The artwork only adds to it. I have no negative remarks. Simply enjoyed it.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thank you, Faye :)
Whoo-hoo! So happy you enjoyed this one. I was worried it would creep everyone out. This story is a bit creepy, but that is exciting for me to write about. I like the dark fantasy, but with a good fairytale ending. The light always conquers the dark forces.

Thanks again!
Hugs,
Shana :)

reply by fm wright on 14-Oct-2020

You hit the mark with this one, just the right balance. Thanks so much for writing it the way you did.
Hugs,
Faye

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

I think you've done a great job with this chapter. I enjoyed the build up. Use of internal dialogue was great in keeping the viewpoint. The story line is interesting. And a great ending. Makes you want to turn the page!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020

Thank you, Michael :)

You just made my day! When a reader says it made them want to turn the page... I am so thrilled. This gives me motivation for my writing today.

Thanks again,
Shana :)