The Gypsy
a debt to pay15 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What a story with a surprising end! There were so many twists and turns. This entry should do well in the Murder on a beach contest. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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What a story with a surprising end! There were so many twists and turns. This entry should do well in the Murder on a beach contest. Best of luck.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your best wishes
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that is a just ending. The gypsy got revenge and protected future women from such a terrible man. It's a good story but there are a lot of grammar errors.
Some comments:
I know Russian but "cestna pionerska!" doesn't sound Russian to me. Pioneer Word would be pionerskoe slovo. The word for 'word' is 'slovo' in Polish, Czech, Russian... So I can't figure out what it is supposed to be.
felt for the awesome and (fell)
ridding in my life on a black (riding)
criteria's: (criteria) It's already plural - no 's' needed. The singular is criterion.
I didn't write any more corrections after this because it got in the way of enjoying the story.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Well, that is a just ending. The gypsy got revenge and protected future women from such a terrible man. It's a good story but there are a lot of grammar errors.
Some comments:
I know Russian but "cestna pionerska!" doesn't sound Russian to me. Pioneer Word would be pionerskoe slovo. The word for 'word' is 'slovo' in Polish, Czech, Russian... So I can't figure out what it is supposed to be.
felt for the awesome and (fell)
ridding in my life on a black (riding)
criteria's: (criteria) It's already plural - no 's' needed. The singular is criterion.
I didn't write any more corrections after this because it got in the way of enjoying the story.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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When I was a student in Bulgaria, the young kids when they were giving an oath were saying cestna pionerska, which is the equivalent of the Scout word, like is very serious. If i went on the wrong side, sorry.
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Oh, maybe if it were an oath - then I think it would be "chesnoe pionerskoe slovo) with the "word/slovo" being understood.
Comment from Susan X Smith
This is a charming and humorous story and I enjoyed reading it. A couple of spelling errors- ridding should be riding. Gypsy I think is the correct spelling. Thanks for sharing this one.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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This is a charming and humorous story and I enjoyed reading it. A couple of spelling errors- ridding should be riding. Gypsy I think is the correct spelling. Thanks for sharing this one.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Hi Susan, you are so right about the correction:) thank you
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Perfect revenge fantasy! Love that middle finger. Cheers. LIZ
ridding s/b riding; criteria's s/b criteria--plural word (in any case, don't use apostrophes for plurals) jewelries' s/b jewelry; weeding s/b wedding; fatidic s/b fateful; sucker [omit: punch] for true love; arranged by Faith s/b Fate; one advise s/b one piece of advice; put poison on s/b in; came back and lure him s/b lured; gipsy s/b gypsy.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Perfect revenge fantasy! Love that middle finger. Cheers. LIZ
ridding s/b riding; criteria's s/b criteria--plural word (in any case, don't use apostrophes for plurals) jewelries' s/b jewelry; weeding s/b wedding; fatidic s/b fateful; sucker [omit: punch] for true love; arranged by Faith s/b Fate; one advise s/b one piece of advice; put poison on s/b in; came back and lure him s/b lured; gipsy s/b gypsy.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Hi Liz:) thank you so much for catching my mistakes, but more over for reading:)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow -- soooo, she's dead and has come to give advice... yep!! Definitely an original approach to this contest! :) Thanx so much for sharing that grin and unexpected turn this evening - best of luck at the polls! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
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Wow -- soooo, she's dead and has come to give advice... yep!! Definitely an original approach to this contest! :) Thanx so much for sharing that grin and unexpected turn this evening - best of luck at the polls! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for this encouraging review:)
