Stepping on Grace
I walked on grass, and felt like a child.37 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello author of this nature poem, it has a lot to say of how it takes a child's reaction when they find the wonders and beauty of nature that God created for us
Gert .
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
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Hello author of this nature poem, it has a lot to say of how it takes a child's reaction when they find the wonders and beauty of nature that God created for us
Gert .
Comment Written 21-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
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Thank you, Gert. Blessings to you.
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You are so welcome amada
God's angels watch over you.
Gert
Comment from Joan E.
You captured the wonder with which a child looks at the world, and your picture selection was just right. Best wishes in the Nature 5-7-5 contest. Big smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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You captured the wonder with which a child looks at the world, and your picture selection was just right. Best wishes in the Nature 5-7-5 contest. Big smiles- Joan
Comment Written 10-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Thank you for your support, dear Joan.
Comment from RGstar
Nicely done...you had the core elements intact. The tip tap moment, the gentleness of nature and child is superb. Well done. Your projection of the moment is superb. I am sorry I am away a little lately, but good to be able to come and support.
With Haiku, it is your imagination that is going to produce that ah--haaa moment. Different authors use different thoughts on each line to produce that moment..some don't think about it, yet can still produce the ah...haaa moment.
I follow Shakespeare, so if to analyze his Haiku,
''On a leafless bough
A crow is perched--
The autumn dusk.
there are three moments...the;
WHERE
WHEN
WHAT
So, you can then connect with nature, using your imagination to create that peaceful ah...haa moment (a conclusion that brings forth a realisation of what you want to project.)
Try to post high when you post sometimes, your work stands better chance of all time best. Having said that, you have a fan-base, so when you get that great ah...ahh moment, you will have many reviews, especially if you post high.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Nicely done...you had the core elements intact. The tip tap moment, the gentleness of nature and child is superb. Well done. Your projection of the moment is superb. I am sorry I am away a little lately, but good to be able to come and support.
With Haiku, it is your imagination that is going to produce that ah--haaa moment. Different authors use different thoughts on each line to produce that moment..some don't think about it, yet can still produce the ah...haaa moment.
I follow Shakespeare, so if to analyze his Haiku,
''On a leafless bough
A crow is perched--
The autumn dusk.
there are three moments...the;
WHERE
WHEN
WHAT
So, you can then connect with nature, using your imagination to create that peaceful ah...haa moment (a conclusion that brings forth a realisation of what you want to project.)
Try to post high when you post sometimes, your work stands better chance of all time best. Having said that, you have a fan-base, so when you get that great ah...ahh moment, you will have many reviews, especially if you post high.
Good luck.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, Roy.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh my, what a wonderful senryu you have written! But it is not a 'haiku-like' 5-7-5.
Here is the definition of haiku, as I understand it: two concrete images (of something in nature) grammatically connected < the kire. There should be a seasonal reference < the kigo (it can be implied, not necessarily named. For example, snow is found in winter, so if you used snow as one of the images, you wouldn't have to say it was winter.) It must be immediate (present tense, as if it is happening right in front of you as you watch) and there should be an 'aha!' moment --> the satori.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
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Oh my, what a wonderful senryu you have written! But it is not a 'haiku-like' 5-7-5.
Here is the definition of haiku, as I understand it: two concrete images (of something in nature) grammatically connected < the kire. There should be a seasonal reference < the kigo (it can be implied, not necessarily named. For example, snow is found in winter, so if you used snow as one of the images, you wouldn't have to say it was winter.) It must be immediate (present tense, as if it is happening right in front of you as you watch) and there should be an 'aha!' moment --> the satori.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for this insightful review.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Sometimes it is great to let your inner child loose and enjoy something special just like a child would. I could see this as I read it. Your words left me with a great feeling of relaxation and pleasure. Your image is perfect for your well-thought out words. Good job with the prompt.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Sometimes it is great to let your inner child loose and enjoy something special just like a child would. I could see this as I read it. Your words left me with a great feeling of relaxation and pleasure. Your image is perfect for your well-thought out words. Good job with the prompt.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for your gracious comments, Jan.
Comment from trimple
Hi there, Amada
Your nature poem is in fine feckle and adhered to the 5-7-5 contraint.
A little girl, barefooted and at one with nature is about as pure as pure can be...
Quite lovely.
Shame that in your photo she has red shoes on though :)
most enjoyable
kind regards
tracey
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Hi there, Amada
Your nature poem is in fine feckle and adhered to the 5-7-5 contraint.
A little girl, barefooted and at one with nature is about as pure as pure can be...
Quite lovely.
Shame that in your photo she has red shoes on though :)
most enjoyable
kind regards
tracey
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you Tracey for your very nice thoughts. The little girl with the red shoes, maybe she is just starting to take them off. (I could be a story behind those shoes...oh, imagination!
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Oh, yes! I hadn't thought of that...
Good call :)
Comment from rjuselius
Wow! This is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! I like the idea behind the poem. Childhood makes me smile.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a humongous hug-it-out hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Wow! This is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! I like the idea behind the poem. Childhood makes me smile.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a humongous hug-it-out hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Hi Rebekka, thank you for reading my haiku and for your high remarks. Blessings to you for your kindness, your vote, and the six!
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My pleasure entirely dear amada <3
Comment from Alchera
barefoot on green grass
to a child's whim giving wings--
joyful toes and soul
A perfect written structural senryu throughout its well, three lined counted syllables 5/7/5 and its child's joyful natural narrative story lined content. Great Job!
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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barefoot on green grass
to a child's whim giving wings--
joyful toes and soul
A perfect written structural senryu throughout its well, three lined counted syllables 5/7/5 and its child's joyful natural narrative story lined content. Great Job!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you for reading my work and your support.
Comment from estory
There's a great sense of possibility, of innocence in this image of the child playing, imagining in the grass. He's barefoot. A great image of innocence. Nice use of the form, you had the nature image, the perfect balance, and something of an epiphany moment, that sense of the child taking off on whim giving wings. estory
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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There's a great sense of possibility, of innocence in this image of the child playing, imagining in the grass. He's barefoot. A great image of innocence. Nice use of the form, you had the nature image, the perfect balance, and something of an epiphany moment, that sense of the child taking off on whim giving wings. estory
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you estory. Maybe someday I will write about crossing the street, barefoot, at five years old. That's all I am saying today. Tank you for your support to my work.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Good 5/7/5 poem entry for the Write a Nature 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. The presentation is nice.
Haiku are poems about nature and need a season word. Your poem is a senryu, not a haiku and the contest calls for haiku. Senryu is about human nature.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Hello anonymous
Good 5/7/5 poem entry for the Write a Nature 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. The presentation is nice.
Haiku are poems about nature and need a season word. Your poem is a senryu, not a haiku and the contest calls for haiku. Senryu is about human nature.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my work.
