Comment from Mia Twysted

Excellent

I hear regreat in this piece. They long to have something that they had before. Something they may have willingly walked away from. I am left feeling saddened.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, Mia, for giving this a look.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Aaah...if only. :( This is certainly a sobering fulfillment of these unusual contest requirements - thanx so much for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, Yvette. Right, if only that realization came about.

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Rhyming Alliteration writing prompt.
This verse flows smoothly and tells a story while following the guidelines.
Nicely done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, Sharon

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, anonymous,

Great entry for the
Rhyming Alliteration writing prompt contest. Good rhyme and alliteration. It's hard to be alone. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, GBR

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

This poem seems to capture the teen in a bad spot, since he /she is missing for the protection of the home and dad. "Living in this shabby shed,
no hat on my humble head;
having no one near to me,
it's not where I want to be;
I must make that call to Dad,
get the happy home I had;
I will listen, learn -- be led." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, Iza

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hello :)
I enjoyed reading your poem.
The rhyme scheme is sound and your meter is nice and even.
Good message in your words. It's hard to swallow your pride sometimes and admit that you're wrong, but it has to be done. At times we need to be led.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra :)

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, Debra

Comment from Pen & Paper

Excellent

Hey..
I haven't written aabbcca yet but thanks for sharing I feel inspired to write my first rhyming alliteration with the rhyming scheme.
Keep writing! Be safe.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020

Thanks, PP, for giving this a look.

Comment from Cindy Decker

Excellent

Bill, I really like your alliteration poem. It's about some young person who learned, like most of us have, that our parents are wiser than us. Your alliteration blends in nicely with the rhyme.
Best wishes, Bill.
Stay well,
Cindy

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

Thank you, Cindy.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Fine alliteration and maybe this poem is about a runaway child? Not sure, but we all need guidance when we are young and maybe this is the moral behind this story, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020

Thanks, Dolly, for getting the message here.

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

You feel the loneliness of the runaway and the life he expected is not here but at home.
Well done and poignant.
It is well written and I found it moving.
Good luck

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020

Thank you, Mary.