THE CURSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "The Shadow "The six book of the Novels of the Breedline
7 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
An intense chapter to read. It was full of suspense and action. I enjoy reading sci fi. You did a great job. I didn't spot any errors. Have a great night. Shirley
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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An intense chapter to read. It was full of suspense and action. I enjoy reading sci fi. You did a great job. I didn't spot any errors. Have a great night. Shirley
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Shirley :)
Glad you liked the chapter. This book is going to be fun to write. I've put it off for 3 months trying to go back and rewrite the previous books. Thanks for taking the time to read my chapter and for the kind words.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
It's funny I have no memory of how it went with the malevolent shadow, but I'm sure you will expose this particular villain. Is there a history of his possession Shana. I like this one there is a decent side to Joseph that the shadow can't combat successful, so there might be hope for him after all, but not for his victims. Outstanding episode dear girl. Well done loved it. Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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It's funny I have no memory of how it went with the malevolent shadow, but I'm sure you will expose this particular villain. Is there a history of his possession Shana. I like this one there is a decent side to Joseph that the shadow can't combat successful, so there might be hope for him after all, but not for his victims. Outstanding episode dear girl. Well done loved it. Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Roy :)
The Shadow is the new villain in the new book (6th book of my Breedline series) I'm working on called The Curse. I had to put it aside and start re-editing my other previous books to get them ready to be republished since my original publisher is not turning in my sales royalties. I've taken a break from that so I could come back and start writing in this new book. It helps to get opinions on FanStory before I turn my manuscript in to my editor. I appreciate all your helpful advice and support. You've been so kind.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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Good job, when you?re rich, I can say...I know her
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Haha! I just wish I could make enough money to quit my job and write for a living. I won't give up! :)
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You get the connection between human and animal, and the ability of choice we ?animals? have, not many have that perception you have, look at the riots, dear Shana,
Comment from ngage
I have to say, this is one of my favorites now. You managed to grab me at the beginning and keep me drawn into the story to the very end.
The Shadow is chilling and intriguing. It reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Compelling all the way through. The photo matches your chapter as well.
Fantastic writing, Ms. Shana!
Nate
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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I have to say, this is one of my favorites now. You managed to grab me at the beginning and keep me drawn into the story to the very end.
The Shadow is chilling and intriguing. It reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Compelling all the way through. The photo matches your chapter as well.
Fantastic writing, Ms. Shana!
Nate
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Nate :)
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Although it's a little dark, I had fun creating it.
Hugs,
Shana :)
Comment from fm wright
I might have put "That's something a girl doesn't come by easily these days, " instead of don't. I'm also not sure why the conversation drifted to Carrie's boss and Joseph's former one, which to me kind of drug it out in the wrong direction, otherwise the story flowed well enough.The artwork you chose fits the story very nicely.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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I might have put "That's something a girl doesn't come by easily these days, " instead of don't. I'm also not sure why the conversation drifted to Carrie's boss and Joseph's former one, which to me kind of drug it out in the wrong direction, otherwise the story flowed well enough.The artwork you chose fits the story very nicely.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Thanks so much, Faye :)
I see what you mean. Thanks for catching that. I will definitely change don't to doesn't. It's so great to have more eyes on my story. I tend to overlook the obvious. Lol!
I appreciate your support. Stay safe my friend.
Hugs,
Shana :)
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No big deal. You would have caught it in a reread.
Hugs,
Faye
Comment from Mistydawn
It's a shame he is what he is since there seems to be an attraction between them. Poor Carrie has fallen head over heels. I just hope she'll survive this date or he can fight off this voice in his head. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting start to finish, of course. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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It's a shame he is what he is since there seems to be an attraction between them. Poor Carrie has fallen head over heels. I just hope she'll survive this date or he can fight off this voice in his head. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting start to finish, of course. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Mistydawn :)
I'm so glad you liked the chapter. I was worried the Shadow would be confusing to readers.
Yes, Carrie and Joseph seem to have a connection, but the Shadow has other plans. Hopefully, Joseph will remain strong and fight for what he wants before the Shadow gets what he hungers for.
Thanks again! Hugs,
Shana :)
Comment from AJ McCall
Geeze, this a story I wasn't expecting to stumble upon. This is my first time reading so the summary and list of character in the author notes was very helpful. Very intriguing story. The shadow inside of him, telling him what to do reminds me of a series I read: The Adventures of Jack Blank. So Carrie's roommate brings Joseph to their room and now she's falling for him. The shadow wants to eat her, it ate Kevin, why does it want to eat her so badly? Also, I wasn't expecting the swear word towards the end, it kinda turned off the dialogue for me. To be continued... what a great way to bait your readers. I enjoyed this story very much.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Geeze, this a story I wasn't expecting to stumble upon. This is my first time reading so the summary and list of character in the author notes was very helpful. Very intriguing story. The shadow inside of him, telling him what to do reminds me of a series I read: The Adventures of Jack Blank. So Carrie's roommate brings Joseph to their room and now she's falling for him. The shadow wants to eat her, it ate Kevin, why does it want to eat her so badly? Also, I wasn't expecting the swear word towards the end, it kinda turned off the dialogue for me. To be continued... what a great way to bait your readers. I enjoyed this story very much.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Thank you, AJ :)
So thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. I love to hear from new readers. The idea of this storyline came to me in a dream. That happens a lot with me. I actually keep a recorder beside my bed. LOL!
Although the Shadow (an evil entity in Joseph's subconscious that feeds on humans to survive) is the villain, I do like adding some comedy here and there at times. For me, it keeps the story from getting too gruesome since I do add a lot of it.
Now that Joseph is fond of Carrie, he has his work cut out fighting the inner voice from wanting to devour her.
Thanks for reading! Stay safe!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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You're welcome! I love reading new things! And a recorder? I need to get one of those because waking up in the middle of the night and writing is kinda tiresome. I find dreams so strange but beautiful. Most times it takes a whole day to remember what exactly the dream was about. lol. Yes, I agree. There definitely needs to be comedy relief in stories such as this one. I'll be looking for that next chapter! You stay safe as well!
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Oh, and question: is that guy on your profile pic, Jason Momoa? If not looks a lot like him...
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Yes it is Jason. I got the chance to meet him last year before the Covid hit. He was so sweet. He liked my book :) I had my artist do a special cover just for him.
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Wow. That's amazing. Very happy for you. :)
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Thanks! :) Jason inspired one of my new characters so I was thrilled to share the book with him.
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Haha! That's what I called taking advantage of the opportunity of a life-time. That's amazing!
Comment from robyn corum
S.,
Oh, wow. This was a marvelous post - from beginning to end. You had supreme and utter control of the whole scene. I saw it all. Never doubted what was happening. (Well - there was a single moment, when I didn't understand how she was able to see/picture his looks so well. I thought he was turned away from her but when I reread I saw he was in profile. Maybe worth a small mention.)
Other:
1.) increase the font, maybe?
2.) There was so much blood. It was
--> There had been so much blood. It was
Thanks a bunch. I really enjoyed!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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S.,
Oh, wow. This was a marvelous post - from beginning to end. You had supreme and utter control of the whole scene. I saw it all. Never doubted what was happening. (Well - there was a single moment, when I didn't understand how she was able to see/picture his looks so well. I thought he was turned away from her but when I reread I saw he was in profile. Maybe worth a small mention.)
Other:
1.) increase the font, maybe?
2.) There was so much blood. It was
--> There had been so much blood. It was
Thanks a bunch. I really enjoyed!
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Thank you, Robyn :)
So thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. I really appreciate the helpful advice. I will definitely go back and make a few changes. It helps having more eyes on my story. I tend to overlook the obvious.
Thanks again! Stay safe!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
