Comment from Carlos' girl

Excellent

I love the repetition of this styled villanelle. Your repetitive phrase is excellent. It supports the entire poem as every other line just seems to fall into place here. The imagery is superb.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

reply by Carlos' girl on 20-Sep-2020

your welcome

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Roy,

A really smart piece about taking care of what the dark holds - in others and in ourselves. As always, your post was clear and concise and well written. I enjoyed!

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much Robyn for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I admired your intriuing title and the matching artwork you selected. The villanelle form with its rhymes and repeats is very effective. I looked up "crim" and found that it is informal British for "criminal"--thanks for the new vocabulary word. Smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much Joan for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

Comment from Janet Foor

Exceptional

A well written villanelle Roy with a scripture to reinforce the message.
Great repeating line giving more power to the message.

Well done my friend

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much Janet, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I enjoyed reading this poem. The rhyming scheme is absolutely perfect and made for a poem that flowed easily as I read. Thank you for sharing. Crime never pays in the end, which is the important detail.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks Barbara, so much for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

A superb Villanelle with thoughtful and meaningful content... I would offer a small suggestion. In the final stanza you say, when darkness shines, the crim will stray... well, Roy, darkness does not shine.. how about, when darkness cloaks, the crim will stray? Just a suggestion... A wonderful Villanelle.

Melissa

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks Melissa, I guess the scripture says it all. ?even darkness is as light to God? Maybe shines is strong, but I think it still works Melissa, but thanks for these terrific comments and a super review, suggestion, blessings Roy

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

That was a well written poem, Roy, the crim never gives up, he'll be there when we're asleep, and take what he wants. It's a terrible feeling to wake up and find your home has been violated. That happened to my late sister-in-law, she was never happy in her home after that. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much Sandra, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

Hi Roy,
I enjoyed this poetic form. The repetition is very effective. I would like to try it myself sometime, when I'm feeling brave.
My favorite lines,
"when men hide they wake the night" ... (makes me think, why are they hiding? Evil must be afoot. And evil brings night to life. Only good shines in the darkness.)
and,
"a sleeping dog's a thief's delight" ... (Satan and those who do his work are opportunistic. They are watchers. Nothing gets by them.)
Your poem is so close to a six, but a few lines made me wonder...
"Those homeless doves in nests may lay" ... (how can a dove be homeless when it is laying in a nest?)
"A sailing yacht at anchor lay" ... ( "a sailing yacht" makes me think that the boat is sailing, so how can it be anchored at the same time? "a sailing ship", on the other hand, refers to any ship capable of sailing. So it can be at anchor. I hope you can understand what I'm getting at here.)
"as apples fall and rot will blight" ... (I think this line needs a comma after "fall". It took me a bit to determine that there are two thoughts here. The apples fall, and rotted apples disappoint the farmer as well as the picker.)
"When darkness shines the crim will stray" ... (is "crim" a typo for "crime"?)
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

A pigeon when kept by a pigeon racer, it?s home is a cage not a nest,. There?s a lot for thought I put in my poem, but I?ll stick to it, crim is an old English/Australian word for criminal, I consider this full of metaphors that need to be ?Found? By the reader, but I appreciate Your diligence wonderful review , poetry is not necessarily explicit.

Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel

Excellent

Hi Roy,
I really like this - one of my favorite themes is God shining His light into the darkness. You've followed the required poetic structure well and the poem flows seamlessly and is not stifled by the requirements.
I like this line the best: "When men hide they wake the night..."
Excellent poem!

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much Susan, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy

Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Good Morning, Roy!
I so enjoyed the sentiments found in your well-crafted villanelle. Surely, much has been sown in the night, and we all must reap the effects of such acts today ... "For time can't hide those shadows gray."
A fine poem upon which to reflect.

Thank you!
diane

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020

Thanks so much Diane, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy