Dew-Soaked Teddy Bear
Haibun12 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I divided this piece into two.
I found the prose a challenge. So much information in so few words. It is very clever, and asks for thoughtful reading that must be taken slowly and steadily.
The haiku part I found much easier. I think you wrote a simple one, to lead us gently into the haibun. It was a straightforward account of chaos, with the presence of an innocent teddy bear as a counterpoint.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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I divided this piece into two.
I found the prose a challenge. So much information in so few words. It is very clever, and asks for thoughtful reading that must be taken slowly and steadily.
The haiku part I found much easier. I think you wrote a simple one, to lead us gently into the haibun. It was a straightforward account of chaos, with the presence of an innocent teddy bear as a counterpoint.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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thank you very much, Katherine, I appreciate you.
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from lightink
I hope you didn't need to evacuate, Dear!
The poem is beautifully written...that allows us to see the destabilized lives: Waking up in a car with just a few belongings
And the destruction of fire, with the scattered building parts -
But the most haunting is the abandon ed Teddy bear!
Fantastic writing!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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I hope you didn't need to evacuate, Dear!
The poem is beautifully written...that allows us to see the destabilized lives: Waking up in a car with just a few belongings
And the destruction of fire, with the scattered building parts -
But the most haunting is the abandon ed Teddy bear!
Fantastic writing!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Jyoti. I appreciate your review. Have a lovely day.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Mark Schardine
burned houses debris
are scattered here and there --
dew-soaked teddy bear
Somehow a treasure survives. Sometimes it is gold coin or a gemstone, and other times we see something that reminds us of a loved one.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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burned houses debris
are scattered here and there --
dew-soaked teddy bear
Somehow a treasure survives. Sometimes it is gold coin or a gemstone, and other times we see something that reminds us of a loved one.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Mark.
Comment from lyenochka
That is a very moving way to show the tragedy of the lost houses and the families who have lost so much. The teddy bear shows us there was a child who loved that stuffed animal that used to live there. The "dew" symbolizes tears to me. Superbly done.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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That is a very moving way to show the tragedy of the lost houses and the families who have lost so much. The teddy bear shows us there was a child who loved that stuffed animal that used to live there. The "dew" symbolizes tears to me. Superbly done.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Helen. I appreciate your review and insightful feedback very much. May you have a wonderful weekend.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent haibun form albeit about a tragedy that just keeps going on. The haiku is particularly poignant as people have lost all in these historically horrid fires.
Superb write and you home the tragedy with great clarity.
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Excellent haibun form albeit about a tragedy that just keeps going on. The haiku is particularly poignant as people have lost all in these historically horrid fires.
Superb write and you home the tragedy with great clarity.
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Gloria, you are very kind. Have a wonderful weekend.
Comment from June Sargent
To wake up and see the remnants of your life scattered about is beyond heartbreaking. This haibun captures those feelings of utter devastation - by combining prose and poetry to share your sentiments. The imagery of a dew-soaked teddy bear hit home.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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To wake up and see the remnants of your life scattered about is beyond heartbreaking. This haibun captures those feelings of utter devastation - by combining prose and poetry to share your sentiments. The imagery of a dew-soaked teddy bear hit home.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for your dedication to the fire victims and the fighters. I admired your clever title to establish the mood for your haibun, and the dramatic picture of devastation was scary. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your dedication to the fire victims and the fighters. I admired your clever title to establish the mood for your haibun, and the dramatic picture of devastation was scary. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy--and these fires are by far the worst I've ever seen; tragic, and I've heard scientists say we better get used to this; with Republicans scoffing at climate change, I don't see anything changing
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Another fine poem, Gypsy--and these fires are by far the worst I've ever seen; tragic, and I've heard scientists say we better get used to this; with Republicans scoffing at climate change, I don't see anything changing
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from equestrik
The picture is profoundly tragic and-so is that teddy bear and all that it implies. I had heard of a haibun but I had no idea what it was. Thank you for the history and explanation. :)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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The picture is profoundly tragic and-so is that teddy bear and all that it implies. I had heard of a haibun but I had no idea what it was. Thank you for the history and explanation. :)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from amada
This is a beautiful combination of prose and poetry. Wonderful to read, it tells of a story and a reflection about that story. Great and heartfelt description of an evacuation. I wish you are safe and well.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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This is a beautiful combination of prose and poetry. Wonderful to read, it tells of a story and a reflection about that story. Great and heartfelt description of an evacuation. I wish you are safe and well.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
