Slow Rainfall
Tetractys poetry15 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Melissa,
I came upon this one, and I liked it. I've been there, on a warm summer's day, with thunder booming close by, and rain pelting down. Dry, under a veranda, while the rain picks up, cleaning dirty earth. God's way.
There's one thing I noticed... "me" in that 4th line. As I see it, "me" is understood in the 3rd line, "entrances", as in "entrances (me)".As a suggestion, I'd omit "me" altogether, and say "as I simper".
The meaning of "simper"... "smile in a silly or affected way"
So it would look like this,
slow
rainfall
entrances
as I simper
savoring the mellow sounds of thunder
*******************************************************
What a nice feeling, eh? Watching God clean the earth, listening to the thunder, but staying dry.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Hi Melissa,
I came upon this one, and I liked it. I've been there, on a warm summer's day, with thunder booming close by, and rain pelting down. Dry, under a veranda, while the rain picks up, cleaning dirty earth. God's way.
There's one thing I noticed... "me" in that 4th line. As I see it, "me" is understood in the 3rd line, "entrances", as in "entrances (me)".As a suggestion, I'd omit "me" altogether, and say "as I simper".
The meaning of "simper"... "smile in a silly or affected way"
So it would look like this,
slow
rainfall
entrances
as I simper
savoring the mellow sounds of thunder
*******************************************************
What a nice feeling, eh? Watching God clean the earth, listening to the thunder, but staying dry.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Hi there KB. I love your suggestion to insert "simper". What cool word that really flavors that piece. I am delighted that you took a stroll through my portfolio. You're the best!!
Melissa
Comment from palmart
Sounds like a thunder! Well I see that poetry in this writing refers to the inner view of a Storm: while outside downpours and heavens cry with thunders, the interior of this person remains still and it flavours the Sound of the storm... nice mix between sounds, tastes and feelings.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Sounds like a thunder! Well I see that poetry in this writing refers to the inner view of a Storm: while outside downpours and heavens cry with thunders, the interior of this person remains still and it flavours the Sound of the storm... nice mix between sounds, tastes and feelings.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thank. You.
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You´re welcome Sugarray77! Enjoy a good time!!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Tetractys Contest writing prompt. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Attractive presentation.
The topic is about rain...I love it.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the Tetractys Contest writing prompt. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Attractive presentation.
The topic is about rain...I love it.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
There's nothing like the serenity of a quiet, rainy afternoon! :) ;) A great employment of the Tetractys form here! :) Thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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There's nothing like the serenity of a quiet, rainy afternoon! :) ;) A great employment of the Tetractys form here! :) Thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thanks so much Yvette!!
Comment from equestrik
Love this writing and I feel the same about rain. I love to go and sit on the porch or walk in it, or ride in it! Love the picture and the write, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Love this writing and I feel the same about rain. I love to go and sit on the porch or walk in it, or ride in it! Love the picture and the write, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Tetractys poem about watching the slow rainfall while you enjoy the mellow sounds if thunder in the distance. Stay safe and dry and enjoy nature around you.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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A very well-written Tetractys poem about watching the slow rainfall while you enjoy the mellow sounds if thunder in the distance. Stay safe and dry and enjoy nature around you.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thanks so much Sandra!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I too enjoy the thunder and rainfall if we can sit and watch under shelter and keep dry! I enjoyed your presentation and you brought the scene to life here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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I too enjoy the thunder and rainfall if we can sit and watch under shelter and keep dry! I enjoyed your presentation and you brought the scene to life here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you Dolly!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a lovely entry for the Tetractys Contest writing prompt. I enjoyed this poem very muck. I hope does well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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This is a lovely entry for the Tetractys Contest writing prompt. I enjoyed this poem very muck. I hope does well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
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Thank you Rebecca!
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You're very welcome.
Comment from roof35
You followed the rules and penned an excellent poem for the contest. I love your illustration which pairs perfectly and sets the stage for your words. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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You followed the rules and penned an excellent poem for the contest. I love your illustration which pairs perfectly and sets the stage for your words. Nicely done.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
What a fun poem with a delightful setting. I'm not sure who wouldn't like sitting to listen to a gentle and peaceful rainfall???
The image is adorable, too. It fits your poem beautifully.
The syllable count is just right and this makes a great entry for the contest. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Dear Mystery Writer,
What a fun poem with a delightful setting. I'm not sure who wouldn't like sitting to listen to a gentle and peaceful rainfall???
The image is adorable, too. It fits your poem beautifully.
The syllable count is just right and this makes a great entry for the contest. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks so much Robin. :)
