Passing Through
Birth, life, death48 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
This is a very well constructed minute poem. I love the artwork that you have chosen, it fits perfectly and is very atmospheric. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This is a very well constructed minute poem. I love the artwork that you have chosen, it fits perfectly and is very atmospheric. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Jen, thanks for the good wishes.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
I love this. The scheme and rhyme are great together with this sort of introspective picture. I have never tried one of these, but may now. Also, I like the title and description, which too often do consider. Great job.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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I love this. The scheme and rhyme are great together with this sort of introspective picture. I have never tried one of these, but may now. Also, I like the title and description, which too often do consider. Great job.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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I am quite honored to receive your six-star validation on this poem. Thank you!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello anon, I like the subject of this Minute poem - the passage through life, from birth through to the end. Your layout is fine, good 8/4/4/4 syllables per line in the three stanzas, as required. Your rhyme scheme falls short of the requirements - it should be aabb, ccdd, eeff. This is a pity - as I said your subject is appealing and as you have written it, it reads like a free verse. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Hello anon, I like the subject of this Minute poem - the passage through life, from birth through to the end. Your layout is fine, good 8/4/4/4 syllables per line in the three stanzas, as required. Your rhyme scheme falls short of the requirements - it should be aabb, ccdd, eeff. This is a pity - as I said your subject is appealing and as you have written it, it reads like a free verse. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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OMG, one would think I would read my own notes- to be fixed thank you!
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Hi - hope you manage the fix. Such a pity - your words are so good. I will upgrade if you succeed - let me know. Dx
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total rewrite
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Well done and so quick - I have upgraded. Dx
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You captured the cycle of life here in your minute poem, although the meter is uneven, the sentiments were much enjoyed, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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You captured the cycle of life here in your minute poem, although the meter is uneven, the sentiments were much enjoyed, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Dolly, I am in the meter class starts in 10 days, Oh boy!
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Passing Through", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. With craft and skill, this talented poet has told it as it is. I very much look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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"Passing Through", is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. With craft and skill, this talented poet has told it as it is. I very much look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Duchess thank you!
Dear Anon,
you're very welcome.
God bless,take care and keep safe!
the Duchess
Comment from Gloria ....
This is an excellent poem and I very much enjoy the theme, and the artwork is great.
That said, your metre and rhyme scheme doesn't match the contest requirements as far as I can tell and your second line has 5 syllables.
An easy repair for you I am sure, and best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This is an excellent poem and I very much enjoy the theme, and the artwork is great.
That said, your metre and rhyme scheme doesn't match the contest requirements as far as I can tell and your second line has 5 syllables.
An easy repair for you I am sure, and best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Gloria thanks, I cant wait to get started on the meter work.
Comment from seaglass
I like this poem and except for the fact I am a woman, it could be my story too in regard to birth with midwife and event of the stars. The thought of redo´s make me tired. The meter and rhyme scheme lends to its moody feeling.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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I like this poem and except for the fact I am a woman, it could be my story too in regard to birth with midwife and event of the stars. The thought of redo´s make me tired. The meter and rhyme scheme lends to its moody feeling.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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seaglass, thanks muccccch!
Comment from nomi338
Most births are expected, some eagerly anticipated. Every now and the one come as a surprise. Death can be over a long period of time, agonizingly during an illness, or suddenly through accident, war or murderous act.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Most births are expected, some eagerly anticipated. Every now and the one come as a surprise. Death can be over a long period of time, agonizingly during an illness, or suddenly through accident, war or murderous act.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Nomi. yes each life runs along a different set of rails.
Comment from roof35
You followed the rules and penned an excellent Minute Poem for the contest. Your illustration pairs perfectly. I especially like your closing line. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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You followed the rules and penned an excellent Minute Poem for the contest. Your illustration pairs perfectly. I especially like your closing line. Nicely done.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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roof, thank you so much,
Comment from Tina Crute
In just a few words, you gave the outline of your life. That is a hard thing to do, I imagine! You separated your life into three parts...birth, life and death, with descriptive phrases.Your last line, somewhat humorous, made me laugh.
I think your second line is 5 syllables, not four, and I did not see that there was a rhyme scheme. Maybe that was optional?
I will have to try a minute poem soon. I am still learning:)
Tina
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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In just a few words, you gave the outline of your life. That is a hard thing to do, I imagine! You separated your life into three parts...birth, life and death, with descriptive phrases.Your last line, somewhat humorous, made me laugh.
I think your second line is 5 syllables, not four, and I did not see that there was a rhyme scheme. Maybe that was optional?
I will have to try a minute poem soon. I am still learning:)
Tina
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Tina, thank you I will adjust
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We are all still learning and if anyone tells you different, they are lying,lol.
Seriously, the people on fanstory are awesome and have helped me with so many things!
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Oh my goodness! You changed it and its sooo good! Yay! I love it!
Tina
