Bomby
a farse9 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about the last day of your life can become a nightmare. When you feel guilty of something you did that you know was wrong. It can drive you crazy and give you nightmares all night long over and over.
A very well-written story about the last day of your life can become a nightmare. When you feel guilty of something you did that you know was wrong. It can drive you crazy and give you nightmares all night long over and over.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is an interesting take on a last day of your life. This is a good entry for My Last Day writing prompt. Good luck in the contest!
This is an interesting take on a last day of your life. This is a good entry for My Last Day writing prompt. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
Comment from palmart
Well, sometimes it is needed one person to lead and save humanity! Your story talks about the feelings inside such a person and the fears he internally fight. Nice picture of Bomby (and its consequence!). Very creative in starting and ending with the same situation that leads reader to think it as a loop.
Well, sometimes it is needed one person to lead and save humanity! Your story talks about the feelings inside such a person and the fears he internally fight. Nice picture of Bomby (and its consequence!). Very creative in starting and ending with the same situation that leads reader to think it as a loop.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
A beautiful entry for the My Last Day writing prompt contest.
It's a funny story lol I love that he made it to the river and back but the ending is horrific.
You followed the rules of the contest well. Nice presentation too.
Hello anonymous
A beautiful entry for the My Last Day writing prompt contest.
It's a funny story lol I love that he made it to the river and back but the ending is horrific.
You followed the rules of the contest well. Nice presentation too.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
Comment from Brad Bennett
Great Narrative Iza. I started reading not aware this was a last day on earth drama, so I certainly was wondering where you were going. But at the end there was the contest... Aha! So that's it! This worked extra well for me. Also, good use of the globe as a story hook.
But then, your surprise use of 'Snoggling' at the end. Ya got me again, literally! Well done.
Great Narrative Iza. I started reading not aware this was a last day on earth drama, so I certainly was wondering where you were going. But at the end there was the contest... Aha! So that's it! This worked extra well for me. Also, good use of the globe as a story hook.
But then, your surprise use of 'Snoggling' at the end. Ya got me again, literally! Well done.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
Comment from Sanku
This is a very imaginative plot and you have written it in a very catchy way .The thoughts of the character and his confusions flowed smoothly and I am relieved that the end was good nd God id gave him a second chance.Or was it all a dream?
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
This is a very imaginative plot and you have written it in a very catchy way .The thoughts of the character and his confusions flowed smoothly and I am relieved that the end was good nd God id gave him a second chance.Or was it all a dream?
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your lovely review:)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Delightfully clever! Cheers. LIZ
farse s/b farce; apparently (OMIT: is) me; Bored (INSERT: comma) I started; sleep the bomb s/b slip; lives of other s/b otherS; so one (OMIT: comma) death to add ... ; pussycat (period not question mark); IS not Cancun s/b IT'S not ... ; I run and jumped s/b ran and jumped; drugged s/b dragged; Angry I stand up and I screamed s/b Angry (comma) I stood up and screamed.
Delightfully clever! Cheers. LIZ
farse s/b farce; apparently (OMIT: is) me; Bored (INSERT: comma) I started; sleep the bomb s/b slip; lives of other s/b otherS; so one (OMIT: comma) death to add ... ; pussycat (period not question mark); IS not Cancun s/b IT'S not ... ; I run and jumped s/b ran and jumped; drugged s/b dragged; Angry I stand up and I screamed s/b Angry (comma) I stood up and screamed.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
Comment from lancellot
I (need) to know if I am going to pass my exam or not!
- should be: needed, because it happened last night.
Okay, I cannot tell if this is meant to written in presented tense or past tense. It jumps around too much. I mean no disrespect but it is very confusing.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
I (need) to know if I am going to pass my exam or not!
- should be: needed, because it happened last night.
Okay, I cannot tell if this is meant to written in presented tense or past tense. It jumps around too much. I mean no disrespect but it is very confusing.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your suggestion and the review.
Comment from equestrik
By the end, I was really enjoying the write. I have to admit, I was a bit lost at the first. It is a kind of fun write for the contest. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
By the end, I was really enjoying the write. I have to admit, I was a bit lost at the first. It is a kind of fun write for the contest. Best of luck.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Hi, to tell you the true I had no idea what to write about. All I knew it was that I wanted a funny ending:)