Barren
six word contest15 total reviews
Comment from The Death
Hi Val,
It's a poignant and touching poem! It captures the pain and loss a parent has faced. That could be so heart-breaking for them, but that crib would act as a reminder, so letting that go seems the best. Good luck!
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Hi Val,
It's a poignant and touching poem! It captures the pain and loss a parent has faced. That could be so heart-breaking for them, but that crib would act as a reminder, so letting that go seems the best. Good luck!
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you, my friend.
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Val
You have managed to say rather a lot here in just six words.
Baby shoes for sale. Never worn. Was a short story written by Hemmingway who was challenged to write the shortest story. Your poem resonates with his in a way, only the ending--
'first offer' adds even more to this tragic dilemma.
The parent we assume is desperate to rid herself of all that reminds her of being or becomming childless.
Well written and most poingnant write, Val.
Kindest regards
tracey
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Hello there, Val
You have managed to say rather a lot here in just six words.
Baby shoes for sale. Never worn. Was a short story written by Hemmingway who was challenged to write the shortest story. Your poem resonates with his in a way, only the ending--
'first offer' adds even more to this tragic dilemma.
The parent we assume is desperate to rid herself of all that reminds her of being or becomming childless.
Well written and most poingnant write, Val.
Kindest regards
tracey
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Tracey. Someone else mentioned this line by Hemmingway. This little poem was prompted by a young woman I know, who has lost two babies by miscarriage.
Comment from LisaMay
Your poem speaks to me of something sad and dramatic happening - hopes unrealised in a tragic manner perhaps, a dead baby, or no conception after attempts, and the desire to get rid of the reminder as soon as possible - the empty crib, the barren womb desolate.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Your poem speaks to me of something sad and dramatic happening - hopes unrealised in a tragic manner perhaps, a dead baby, or no conception after attempts, and the desire to get rid of the reminder as soon as possible - the empty crib, the barren womb desolate.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful review.
Comment from Boogienights
This is sad. Many can relate i'm sure, but luckily there are many ways to have kids these days thanks to science. This is a good entry because it stirs the emotions. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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This is sad. Many can relate i'm sure, but luckily there are many ways to have kids these days thanks to science. This is a good entry because it stirs the emotions. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Thank you for this lovely review. I will pass this advice along
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your six words are powerfully and poignantly used. I hope you won't be offended, but numerous sources say Earnest Hemingway wrote this six-word poem: "For sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn." You might not think yours is much like it! I just know that when I read yours, the Hemingway poem immediately came to my mind. Maybe you've never heard of his.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Your six words are powerfully and poignantly used. I hope you won't be offended, but numerous sources say Earnest Hemingway wrote this six-word poem: "For sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn." You might not think yours is much like it! I just know that when I read yours, the Hemingway poem immediately came to my mind. Maybe you've never heard of his.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the review, though I have read a LOT of Hemingway this does not come to mind. The reason for this little piece is a young friend of mine just suffered a third miscarry, and has decided she can't take any more attempts.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Barren
by Val Crisson
Hello, Van,
Powerful poem in six words. First offer means the parent wants it out of the way asap. A painful reminder of being barren. It's heartbreaking. Well done! Good luck in the contest. I will look for it in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Barren
by Val Crisson
Hello, Van,
Powerful poem in six words. First offer means the parent wants it out of the way asap. A painful reminder of being barren. It's heartbreaking. Well done! Good luck in the contest. I will look for it in the voting booth.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Well, you really made my day. Thank you so much. Once in a while, you feel you've "nailed" something and someone "gets" it. This exceptional is a real gift. Val
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Six words that says it all.
It saddens you reader.
I am not heavy into poetry but I look for the work that leaves an emotion or leaves me not always remembering the words, but has an impact on me so I remember the story and or the emotion.
This poem leaves an emotion
Good work.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Six words that says it all.
It saddens you reader.
I am not heavy into poetry but I look for the work that leaves an emotion or leaves me not always remembering the words, but has an impact on me so I remember the story and or the emotion.
This poem leaves an emotion
Good work.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for this lovely review. "Emotion" was exactly my aim with this little poem. So glad you "got" it.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written six-word poem about the sad event where a crib needs to be sold unused and it will be never used in the future by the original owner.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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A very well-written six-word poem about the sad event where a crib needs to be sold unused and it will be never used in the future by the original owner.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for taking the time to review this poem.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These few words speak volumes for those who have never been able to have children of their own and my heart goes out to those couples, a sad write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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These few words speak volumes for those who have never been able to have children of their own and my heart goes out to those couples, a sad write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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I know it is sad, but sadness is part of life. Thank you for reviewing my little poem.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, my God - how powerful! Conjures up thousands of images - of a mother who lost her child - can be other images - but this write gave me goosebumps. Great artistic presentation and artwork, the visuals hit the roof. I think it'll make one of the top contenders in the contest, good luck in the booths.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Oh, my God - how powerful! Conjures up thousands of images - of a mother who lost her child - can be other images - but this write gave me goosebumps. Great artistic presentation and artwork, the visuals hit the roof. I think it'll make one of the top contenders in the contest, good luck in the booths.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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This is a fabulous review. Thank you so much for taking so much time on it. It made my day.
