Forest -dash
flashfantasy15 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that is a shocking ending! You met the requirement of the forest and the chair and the sudden futuristic/fantasy flight to the future. Best wishes in the contest!
I was in owe of this corner of Paradise (awe)
here it was: the chair, mon cher. (ma cherie) She's a female, n'est-ce pas?
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Well, that is a shocking ending! You met the requirement of the forest and the chair and the sudden futuristic/fantasy flight to the future. Best wishes in the contest!
I was in owe of this corner of Paradise (awe)
here it was: the chair, mon cher. (ma cherie) She's a female, n'est-ce pas?
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Hi Hellen you are right , but I wanted to have nice sound play the chair mon cher:) Sorry for the late answer .
Comment from Mia Twysted
Interesting take on how things can work out. I wasn't able to fully connect with the main character in this piece. I felt as if I was being told the story instead of shown the story.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Interesting take on how things can work out. I wasn't able to fully connect with the main character in this piece. I felt as if I was being told the story instead of shown the story.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from RShipp
'My friend, who is a widow and has no family of her own, came up with this magnificent plan to drive every weekend somewhere out of town.' (A nature trail from home- a great idea!)
I was in 'owe' of this corner of Paradise (awe)
The parts of your story from the trip, to your conclusion statement, and then to the virus do not travel well together? I believe that the need a little firmer connecting.
You have met the requirements of 'forest' and 'chair'.
Best of luck in the FlashFantasy2020 writing prompt contest.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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'My friend, who is a widow and has no family of her own, came up with this magnificent plan to drive every weekend somewhere out of town.' (A nature trail from home- a great idea!)
I was in 'owe' of this corner of Paradise (awe)
The parts of your story from the trip, to your conclusion statement, and then to the virus do not travel well together? I believe that the need a little firmer connecting.
You have met the requirements of 'forest' and 'chair'.
Best of luck in the FlashFantasy2020 writing prompt contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This account has a great twister. The reader is emotionally in a nice place. Actually, being able to escape the drone of 2020. Isn't that why people read? To escape. Then we realize our reading was only an escape from the Apocalypse. It's a bit like the last scene of Planet of the Apes, "No, No,No. you didn't" and there is the Statue of Liberty up to her waist in dirt. In this scenerio it would be, "No, No, No, You didn't" and there is pictures of tRump..."No you didn't vote him in for another four years."
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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This account has a great twister. The reader is emotionally in a nice place. Actually, being able to escape the drone of 2020. Isn't that why people read? To escape. Then we realize our reading was only an escape from the Apocalypse. It's a bit like the last scene of Planet of the Apes, "No, No,No. you didn't" and there is the Statue of Liberty up to her waist in dirt. In this scenerio it would be, "No, No, No, You didn't" and there is pictures of tRump..."No you didn't vote him in for another four years."
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a great entry for the FlashFantasy2020 contest writing prompt. I hope it does very well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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This is a great entry for the FlashFantasy2020 contest writing prompt. I hope it does very well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the FlashFantasy2020 writing prompt.
This short piece tells a clear story with an interesting ending.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the FlashFantasy2020 writing prompt.
This short piece tells a clear story with an interesting ending.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a great story coming out of the Covid19 virus. None of us know where it's going to take us in months, years to come. The vaccine might be up for grabs, but even that won't have been tested the way it should have been. This really worked a treat. Well done and good luck. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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That was a great story coming out of the Covid19 virus. None of us know where it's going to take us in months, years to come. The vaccine might be up for grabs, but even that won't have been tested the way it should have been. This really worked a treat. Well done and good luck. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
(that come as a bonus ... my friend come ... s/b came; in woe of s/b awe of; I must weight s/b weigh; forest it's a skeleton s/b forest is a ...; clentching s/b clenching.)
Quite a fine fantasy! Good luck. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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(that come as a bonus ... my friend come ... s/b came; in woe of s/b awe of; I must weight s/b weigh; forest it's a skeleton s/b forest is a ...; clentching s/b clenching.)
Quite a fine fantasy! Good luck. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much Liz:) you are the best, love yaaaaaaaaaaa:) Have a blessed day
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Thank you my friend and please forgive me for the late replay
Comment from equestrik
This is a good entry for the flash fantasy writing contest. I would suggest proof reading again as there were several places that just didn't read well or had poor grammar. Interesting write, though.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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This is a good entry for the flash fantasy writing contest. I would suggest proof reading again as there were several places that just didn't read well or had poor grammar. Interesting write, though.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the suggestions, I am so sorry English is my third language, and unfortunately I make lots of mistakes. Thank you so much for your patience:) Have a blessed day:)
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
To be honest, I can't make heads or tails of this piece. *smile* I can't tell if it's someone making mistakes on purpose trying to seem clever or someone who is really making errors. So...
The story itself doesn't make a great deal of sense. I get the part about two friends going on a getaway - that sounds amazing! But after that, it gets murky. I've made some notes for you --
1.) but I was not expecting the lake; that c(a)me as a bonus
--> be sure to keep all your verbs in the same tense
2.) I was in woe of this corner of Paradise.
--> awe?
3.) So, I jumped out of the car, found (an) outhouse and changed and then laughing
4.) All we needed was a chair so my friend (could) sit.
5.) Oh, my, this lake was perfection: no blue (algae), no motorboats
6.) I glided to the middle of the lake and lay on my back(.) I watched the perfect sky
7.) Suddenly I f(e)ll down from that broken chair.
8.) Well I refused to take it and r(a)n to the forest
--> from here on, the story makes much less sense
9.) Now I'm here (clenching) my memories in one hand and waiting for the
10.) 'coronella' - I'm not sure what you are referring to. Coronella - is a genus of snake, I think? COVID (the Corona virus) is the disease that's wreaking havoc over our world.
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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Dear Mystery Writer,
To be honest, I can't make heads or tails of this piece. *smile* I can't tell if it's someone making mistakes on purpose trying to seem clever or someone who is really making errors. So...
The story itself doesn't make a great deal of sense. I get the part about two friends going on a getaway - that sounds amazing! But after that, it gets murky. I've made some notes for you --
1.) but I was not expecting the lake; that c(a)me as a bonus
--> be sure to keep all your verbs in the same tense
2.) I was in woe of this corner of Paradise.
--> awe?
3.) So, I jumped out of the car, found (an) outhouse and changed and then laughing
4.) All we needed was a chair so my friend (could) sit.
5.) Oh, my, this lake was perfection: no blue (algae), no motorboats
6.) I glided to the middle of the lake and lay on my back(.) I watched the perfect sky
7.) Suddenly I f(e)ll down from that broken chair.
8.) Well I refused to take it and r(a)n to the forest
--> from here on, the story makes much less sense
9.) Now I'm here (clenching) my memories in one hand and waiting for the
10.) 'coronella' - I'm not sure what you are referring to. Coronella - is a genus of snake, I think? COVID (the Corona virus) is the disease that's wreaking havoc over our world.
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the suggestions, I am so sorry English is my third language, and unfortunately I make lots of mistakes. Thank you so much for your patience:) and for helping me out with the grammar mistakes. Have a blessed day:)
