O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "O Hills!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
159 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
It is thought provoking.you have given a philosophy which could be argued either way .but still i agree that human life has often become farce.
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It is thought provoking.you have given a philosophy which could be argued either way .but still i agree that human life has often become farce.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from bayoupoet
This short ideological poem is well written. It indicates
disillusionment with Man's present path. I found it to be very thought provoking for such few words. I agree that
mankind is now following a predictable path toward self destruction. I enjoyed reading for you.
sandra
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This short ideological poem is well written. It indicates
disillusionment with Man's present path. I found it to be very thought provoking for such few words. I agree that
mankind is now following a predictable path toward self destruction. I enjoyed reading for you.
sandra
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from October21
Hi...
Mankind... A questionable force. Interesting poem yet again as you give us something to ponder. Last line was indeed extremely intelligent! Well done here.
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Hi...
Mankind... A questionable force. Interesting poem yet again as you give us something to ponder. Last line was indeed extremely intelligent! Well done here.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from GarthL
It's 5-7-5 syllables but your description reads 15 words which it isn't. I couldn't understand what "His humane role's farce." means or the last line either. I'm thinking you're saying most men are a farce in their words and deeds and that may be right judgng by the dramas that exist everywhere. It do think it could be said much better though. We are all here to learn and by fine-tuning this concept I think it could be much improved. I'm giving you 5 star for the intent and not the quality that it actually represents. StriveOn, Garth
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It's 5-7-5 syllables but your description reads 15 words which it isn't. I couldn't understand what "His humane role's farce." means or the last line either. I'm thinking you're saying most men are a farce in their words and deeds and that may be right judgng by the dramas that exist everywhere. It do think it could be said much better though. We are all here to learn and by fine-tuning this concept I think it could be much improved. I'm giving you 5 star for the intent and not the quality that it actually represents. StriveOn, Garth
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from closetpoetjester
Not a bad effort but you're immediate writing needs a lot more work. From your notes I understand the flavour of the write but the NOTES shouldn't be what's explaining it.
When you have to reproduce your write in your authors notes and explain it to the nth degree and its actually longer than your poem, then take a hint and look at what's on the page and maybe try a longer format.
You seem well spoken in your notes yet trade in your integrity for a syllable count.
Well I stick with integrity all the way mate and this does NOT cut it in the slightest.
Maybe look at some of the other religious writings that do well and take some pointers from those. Religious babblings sound like exactly that if they don't sound out their voice properly. I actually feel like you are doing God a small injustice by not working a little harder for quality over quantity. Just my thoughts and I'm getting paid a buck fifty two from the All mighty money train. Thanks so much.
Hope my review is its money's worth because to be honest, your write was very average as the rating reflects...genuinely. No farce here.
Cheers P
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Not a bad effort but you're immediate writing needs a lot more work. From your notes I understand the flavour of the write but the NOTES shouldn't be what's explaining it.
When you have to reproduce your write in your authors notes and explain it to the nth degree and its actually longer than your poem, then take a hint and look at what's on the page and maybe try a longer format.
You seem well spoken in your notes yet trade in your integrity for a syllable count.
Well I stick with integrity all the way mate and this does NOT cut it in the slightest.
Maybe look at some of the other religious writings that do well and take some pointers from those. Religious babblings sound like exactly that if they don't sound out their voice properly. I actually feel like you are doing God a small injustice by not working a little harder for quality over quantity. Just my thoughts and I'm getting paid a buck fifty two from the All mighty money train. Thanks so much.
Hope my review is its money's worth because to be honest, your write was very average as the rating reflects...genuinely. No farce here.
Cheers P
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from Mastery
Very good write, Al. You write in a very unusual manner which requires a lot of thinking about your words. Nothing wrong with that and I must admit nobody on here writes quite like it. Bravo! Bob (Mastery)
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Very good write, Al. You write in a very unusual manner which requires a lot of thinking about your words. Nothing wrong with that and I must admit nobody on here writes quite like it. Bravo! Bob (Mastery)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2013
Comment from Adri7enne
I'm sure you have an idea in mind that you want to communicate, but I'm just not getting it. "His humane role's farce," Does that mean that man pretends to be humane, to be kind and caring, but in reality men are not so? So, men, in the sight of God, are not pleasing. That's not hard to believe, A. I can understand Lord being unhappy with the state of the world.
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I'm sure you have an idea in mind that you want to communicate, but I'm just not getting it. "His humane role's farce," Does that mean that man pretends to be humane, to be kind and caring, but in reality men are not so? So, men, in the sight of God, are not pleasing. That's not hard to believe, A. I can understand Lord being unhappy with the state of the world.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2013
Comment from K.W.
I really like the content. Your language is succinct and honest. I find that the use of contractions to adhere to 5-7-5 form disallow for an easy cadence e.g "what's" and "role's". Also, the tone and message are too formal and wise for their use in my opinion. A powerful piece, regardless:) best, k
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I really like the content. Your language is succinct and honest. I find that the use of contractions to adhere to 5-7-5 form disallow for an easy cadence e.g "what's" and "role's". Also, the tone and message are too formal and wise for their use in my opinion. A powerful piece, regardless:) best, k
Comment Written 21-Mar-2013
Comment from God's Writer
A grand poem my friend. It is such a treat to read a good poet. I learn so much by reading your splendid poems. Thank you
Shalom
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A grand poem my friend. It is such a treat to read a good poet. I learn so much by reading your splendid poems. Thank you
Shalom
Comment Written 21-Mar-2013
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made effective use of every syllable in this 5-7-5 which presents an ultra-concise conversation between God and part of His creation about the reason for another--man--existing.
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You have made effective use of every syllable in this 5-7-5 which presents an ultra-concise conversation between God and part of His creation about the reason for another--man--existing.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2013
