O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "O Hills!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
159 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Jones
Few mu ses white, few dark 6 syllables. A haiku is really not as easy to write as it would seem. It needs to tell a story and flow. I can't that here.
Cheers
Rose
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Few mu ses white, few dark 6 syllables. A haiku is really not as easy to write as it would seem. It needs to tell a story and flow. I can't that here.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 16-Apr-2006
Comment from joelh605
Hmmm; the title says we are going to learn something important regarding hills.
Line one tells us they're tall realtive to Man, yet being tall still gaze up not down.
Second line suggests that God define's Man's earth roles as being essentially humane (the moter, sadly long since passed away, of a very close friend once said, "Anyone can be human; the highest aspiration is to put an 'e' on the end!")
Final line replaces God with something slightly more personal, muses, but complains (?) that most of them are indistinct, and only a few clearly definable as a pure guide, presumably 'white = good' and 'black = bad' guide.
In short, we are alive while Nature is silent, and while God commands us to be humane our intermediaries, the Muses, are difficult to interpret. This is expresses something more hopeful than Camus / Sartre / Beckett, but only by a modest amount ;-)
Tell me how close I came. Best Regards, Gil Arend.
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Hmmm; the title says we are going to learn something important regarding hills.
Line one tells us they're tall realtive to Man, yet being tall still gaze up not down.
Second line suggests that God define's Man's earth roles as being essentially humane (the moter, sadly long since passed away, of a very close friend once said, "Anyone can be human; the highest aspiration is to put an 'e' on the end!")
Final line replaces God with something slightly more personal, muses, but complains (?) that most of them are indistinct, and only a few clearly definable as a pure guide, presumably 'white = good' and 'black = bad' guide.
In short, we are alive while Nature is silent, and while God commands us to be humane our intermediaries, the Muses, are difficult to interpret. This is expresses something more hopeful than Camus / Sartre / Beckett, but only by a modest amount ;-)
Tell me how close I came. Best Regards, Gil Arend.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2006
Comment from MStephany
This is such a rich poem, Alcreator. I feel like I've been to a twelve course dinner.
As always, you manage to "bend my mind" and help me see what you have happening... what a unique way of expressing The Fall.
Write on!
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This is such a rich poem, Alcreator. I feel like I've been to a twelve course dinner.
As always, you manage to "bend my mind" and help me see what you have happening... what a unique way of expressing The Fall.
Write on!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2006
Comment from ooo JO ooo
Hi,
This doesn't do anything for me. It almost seems to be a random collection of words. Then again, I probably an not well versed in looking for the subtle meanings of haiku.
Best wishes to you!
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Hi,
This doesn't do anything for me. It almost seems to be a random collection of words. Then again, I probably an not well versed in looking for the subtle meanings of haiku.
Best wishes to you!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2006
Comment from melpuppy
This is one of those haiku's that I have to read and reread to get the gist. Once gotten, it speaks loudly. Perhaps a rearrangement of words would help?
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This is one of those haiku's that I have to read and reread to get the gist. Once gotten, it speaks loudly. Perhaps a rearrangement of words would help?
Comment Written 15-Apr-2006
Comment from TomandOma
Five stars for this haiku. I sort of understood the words without the little dictionary, but that cinched that I was on the right track. I especially appreciate the explanation of the thrust of the form; it's never made sense to me.
Now I don't really like haiku - too obscure, but I don't rate according to my likes of form or content.
The form is perfectly executed and the word choices fit the content and are easily understood with your authors notes. Thank you.
The message is one that can't be stressed enough, so I say, 'Good on you!'
All the best, Doris
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Five stars for this haiku. I sort of understood the words without the little dictionary, but that cinched that I was on the right track. I especially appreciate the explanation of the thrust of the form; it's never made sense to me.
Now I don't really like haiku - too obscure, but I don't rate according to my likes of form or content.
The form is perfectly executed and the word choices fit the content and are easily understood with your authors notes. Thank you.
The message is one that can't be stressed enough, so I say, 'Good on you!'
All the best, Doris
Comment Written 15-Apr-2006
Comment from rivki1111
Hello it's rivki, this is a wonderful haiku...before I tell you how wonderful, I will question the word 'roles'...it was about the only one not mentioned in your very careful author notes, which were very interesting for me.
Anyway, you can have a look at it and tell me whether it should be rolls...or not?
I liked this work as it points out how nature, naturely exists with God, or a God like state....we poor humans are the odd ones out, and the few men that do good are seemingly killed by the ugliness of it...Yeshua immeditely springs to mind...of whom the world was not worthy.
But the people that are manipulted by darkness, are allowed to flourish because the majority of people....do nothing.(Mass media moguls have us right where we will be the least effectual...on the couch or doing something hedonistic that is me centred)...don't get me started on that!
I enjoyed this very dense poem, that makes some very good observations on the human existence....bye for now, hope you have a nice holiday season and stay safe, cheers rivki
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hello it's rivki, this is a wonderful haiku...before I tell you how wonderful, I will question the word 'roles'...it was about the only one not mentioned in your very careful author notes, which were very interesting for me.
Anyway, you can have a look at it and tell me whether it should be rolls...or not?
I liked this work as it points out how nature, naturely exists with God, or a God like state....we poor humans are the odd ones out, and the few men that do good are seemingly killed by the ugliness of it...Yeshua immeditely springs to mind...of whom the world was not worthy.
But the people that are manipulted by darkness, are allowed to flourish because the majority of people....do nothing.(Mass media moguls have us right where we will be the least effectual...on the couch or doing something hedonistic that is me centred)...don't get me started on that!
I enjoyed this very dense poem, that makes some very good observations on the human existence....bye for now, hope you have a nice holiday season and stay safe, cheers rivki
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2006
Comment from amaranthblue
This was a nice Haiku... One of the hardest parts of expressing something in so few of words... It is so important to brag the readers attention and use very vivid images to enhance nature... Sorry, this just felt OK
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This was a nice Haiku... One of the hardest parts of expressing something in so few of words... It is so important to brag the readers attention and use very vivid images to enhance nature... Sorry, this just felt OK
Comment Written 15-Apr-2006
Comment from bjivor2005
I was fascinated by this poem, and enjoyed, as I always seem to do, the power that can be created from such a small sampling of words. However, I think it does the poem a disservice if you believe it needs author's notes to explain it all. I caught most of that, not all of it but most of it, on my own, but if you have to explain everything, if you don't think the reader can realize what you want them to realize, then doesn't that mean the poem itself has failed? Just a thought.
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I was fascinated by this poem, and enjoyed, as I always seem to do, the power that can be created from such a small sampling of words. However, I think it does the poem a disservice if you believe it needs author's notes to explain it all. I caught most of that, not all of it but most of it, on my own, but if you have to explain everything, if you don't think the reader can realize what you want them to realize, then doesn't that mean the poem itself has failed? Just a thought.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2006
