Sunset's Robe
a Rondaful poetic form24 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, what a beautiful visual image you have painted with this challenging form, Melissa!! ;) Your use of the internal rhymes give this one a gentle, almost 'personal memory' feel to it as the words are read aloud... :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Oh, what a beautiful visual image you have painted with this challenging form, Melissa!! ;) Your use of the internal rhymes give this one a gentle, almost 'personal memory' feel to it as the words are read aloud... :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 01-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi Yvette! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Melissa
You know, I never thought about that before, that there is a sunset happening every moment around the world, not just where I live.
I like this complex form, where you make up your ending lines from what you've already written,
"Pale mountains blend in silken swirls
as sunset's robe trails with no end." ... and not forced at all. I'm guessing you would write these words first, and then write the verses. Am I correct?
Nice alliteration here,
"silken swirls"
One thing to look at,
"As sunset's robe with layered undertones
in muted patterns (please) (my inner eyes),"
Shouldn't it be "pleases"? It's the robe that pleases.
Also, what do you mean by "inner eyes"?
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi Melissa
You know, I never thought about that before, that there is a sunset happening every moment around the world, not just where I live.
I like this complex form, where you make up your ending lines from what you've already written,
"Pale mountains blend in silken swirls
as sunset's robe trails with no end." ... and not forced at all. I'm guessing you would write these words first, and then write the verses. Am I correct?
Nice alliteration here,
"silken swirls"
One thing to look at,
"As sunset's robe with layered undertones
in muted patterns (please) (my inner eyes),"
Shouldn't it be "pleases"? It's the robe that pleases.
Also, what do you mean by "inner eyes"?
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 01-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi KimBob!! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Melissa, with this complex style. Your words flow smoothly with a pleasing sound. The rhymes are good the image is a good choice, and your message is clear. I agree with you. God's beauty is everywhere.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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You did a great job, Melissa, with this complex style. Your words flow smoothly with a pleasing sound. The rhymes are good the image is a good choice, and your message is clear. I agree with you. God's beauty is everywhere.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 31-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi Jan! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from Joan E.
What a stunning picture of a sunset! I have only read one other poem in the Roundaful form and enjoy its internal and end rhymes. Your "robe" metaphor and image of "Deep fire shines...in silken swirls" are very effective. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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What a stunning picture of a sunset! I have only read one other poem in the Roundaful form and enjoy its internal and end rhymes. Your "robe" metaphor and image of "Deep fire shines...in silken swirls" are very effective. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 31-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi Joan! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from kahpot
What a great Rondaful, I like this form and I am practising my second one, I love your final couplet as it flows and fits with ease describing your wonderful artwork, very well written and presented****kahpot
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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What a great Rondaful, I like this form and I am practising my second one, I love your final couplet as it flows and fits with ease describing your wonderful artwork, very well written and presented****kahpot
Comment Written 31-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi there Kace! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from June Sargent
What a lovely portrait you've painted with your rondaful! I really like this format created by Dolly. It's very effective in describing scenery and landscapes. This was particularly pretty with great rhythm and rhyme.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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What a lovely portrait you've painted with your rondaful! I really like this format created by Dolly. It's very effective in describing scenery and landscapes. This was particularly pretty with great rhythm and rhyme.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi June! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Melissa, another nice offering from you. I'm not familiar with a Rondaful, but this certainly is a beautiful example. Written cleverly to form and does not sound at all contrived to meet the requirements of this form. Gorgeous picture. Well done. Lovely Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hello Melissa, another nice offering from you. I'm not familiar with a Rondaful, but this certainly is a beautiful example. Written cleverly to form and does not sound at all contrived to meet the requirements of this form. Gorgeous picture. Well done. Lovely Dorothy xx
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hi Dorothy! Thanks so much... sorry for the tardy reply. :)
Melissa
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Rondaful poem about the amazing sunset captured at the right moment. Your words in the poem and the picture complement each other perfectly.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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A very well-written Rondaful poem about the amazing sunset captured at the right moment. Your words in the poem and the picture complement each other perfectly.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Hi Sandra... thanks so much!
Melissa
Comment from royowen
This is the second image pregnant poems, I've never heard of this particular form before, but have an addiction to poetic repeating in poetic work, and I like this one as I did the other. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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This is the second image pregnant poems, I've never heard of this particular form before, but have an addiction to poetic repeating in poetic work, and I like this one as I did the other. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much Roy. The Rondaful was created by Dolly a few months ago and I decided to give it a try. There are requirements for internal rhyme and certain syllable counts. I hope you try one some time.
Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
Loved your rondaful poem! Dolly will be so pleased to see your poetic painting of a sunset in this rondaful form! My favorite part was the couplet at the end as the individual parts were so naturally a part of the previous stanzas.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Loved your rondaful poem! Dolly will be so pleased to see your poetic painting of a sunset in this rondaful form! My favorite part was the couplet at the end as the individual parts were so naturally a part of the previous stanzas.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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I enjoyed playing around with this poetic form and found it a bit of a challenge. Maybe it will kick start my writing again. I hope so. Thanks so much, Helen.
Melissa
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Hope so, too! Always happy to see you back, Melissa! 💖
