A Silent Cry
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Prepared"Development of Alzheimer's Disease.
18 total reviews
Comment from Christy Mahon
Really touching stuff here Marjon, exceedingly well expressed. In the first stanza I see so vividly the shinny white skin that seems almost translucent. And, "darkness descends like a heavy eyelid." is thoroughly poetic. That's the real thing there, poetry I mean. "Caulked, battened, and kissed," how tender, how utterly loving. Super words. Finally the topper, "to see if the sheet still moves." the depth of the anxiety and the anticipation of closure. Words that rend the heart.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Really touching stuff here Marjon, exceedingly well expressed. In the first stanza I see so vividly the shinny white skin that seems almost translucent. And, "darkness descends like a heavy eyelid." is thoroughly poetic. That's the real thing there, poetry I mean. "Caulked, battened, and kissed," how tender, how utterly loving. Super words. Finally the topper, "to see if the sheet still moves." the depth of the anxiety and the anticipation of closure. Words that rend the heart.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Christy, thank you very much for a beautiful review and shining six stars!
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Marjon, this poem is scattered , like a mirror that has been dropped and shattered and reflects only bits and pieces of the images in the room where he lay.
The glass body. Out side darkness descending like a heavy eye lid. Sheets, and a door cracked open one last time.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Dear Marjon, this poem is scattered , like a mirror that has been dropped and shattered and reflects only bits and pieces of the images in the room where he lay.
The glass body. Out side darkness descending like a heavy eye lid. Sheets, and a door cracked open one last time.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Suzanna, thanks for a great review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I remember one day I was sitting in the fire hearth, poking the coal and dreaming, when the lounge door was flung open. Brian stood then without a stitch on and all I could see was bones. Lying down, he didn't look so thin but standing up, honestly he frightened me. That was just before the end. He didn't know me then. I could see this vividly in your poem, and feel for you. Sending you a warm hug, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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I remember one day I was sitting in the fire hearth, poking the coal and dreaming, when the lounge door was flung open. Brian stood then without a stitch on and all I could see was bones. Lying down, he didn't look so thin but standing up, honestly he frightened me. That was just before the end. He didn't know me then. I could see this vividly in your poem, and feel for you. Sending you a warm hug, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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So sorry for you you went through similar difficult times with your husband too. Thanks for this review.
I heard you lived in Spain for a long time, but returned to England after your husband died. I do not want to return to Holland. I still love to live in Mallorca, despite the current heat.
Comment from estory
There's some terrific original images in here that really caught my eye. I love this image of the glass body. It speaks of a lack of substance, in some ways, but also of fragility, fragility of form. But it is also an image of beauty, and that gives the metaphor great depth. You have a real knack for finding these wonderful images with depth and breadth and that is one of the instincts necessary for this art form. estory
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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There's some terrific original images in here that really caught my eye. I love this image of the glass body. It speaks of a lack of substance, in some ways, but also of fragility, fragility of form. But it is also an image of beauty, and that gives the metaphor great depth. You have a real knack for finding these wonderful images with depth and breadth and that is one of the instincts necessary for this art form. estory
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Another super review from you, Estory, thank you so much.
Comment from Mastery
Hello Marjon. Your poetry is beautiful and so well written line for line. I especially took note of these words:
"Caulked, battened, and kissed,
I close the door,
feeling reliably abstracted.
The world confirmed us, but I open
the door a crack
to see if the sheet still moves."
Bless you. good job. Bob
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Hello Marjon. Your poetry is beautiful and so well written line for line. I especially took note of these words:
"Caulked, battened, and kissed,
I close the door,
feeling reliably abstracted.
The world confirmed us, but I open
the door a crack
to see if the sheet still moves."
Bless you. good job. Bob
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Bob, a beautiful review. Thank you very much for telling me what you liked most. In the same book, you will find 26 poems more, if you are interested. All under "A Silent Cry" in my portfolio.
Comment from Jacob David Collins
This was a heart-breaking piece of writing. I could see the level of care and attention that you gave him. We do prepare for the moments when we lose our loved ones but it can still be really hard when we lose them. A well written piece.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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This was a heart-breaking piece of writing. I could see the level of care and attention that you gave him. We do prepare for the moments when we lose our loved ones but it can still be really hard when we lose them. A well written piece.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Jacob, for the review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem to see someone deteriorating day after day and there is no hope left uscyhe hardest thing to witness when a loved one dies slowly every day.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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A very well-written heartfelt poem to see someone deteriorating day after day and there is no hope left uscyhe hardest thing to witness when a loved one dies slowly every day.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Sandra, for the review.
Comment from Debra White
Hello Marjon,
Your poem is beautifully written and it really resonated with me.
The last few months of my Grandad's illness were much like this as he was quiet, and his body got smaller and smaller. Your line 'glass body' is a perfect description.
The automatic caring that you mention in your author notes is so wonderfully captured in the words of your poem.
I particularly like the phrase 'siren voices whisper' - I know exactly what you mean here...
I love the imagery of the darkness descending 'like a heavy eyelid'...wow
Also 'caulked, battened and kissed' gives us the idea that you are following a routine and checking off your list before you leave the room.
Lovely use of alliteration throughout, its subtle yet effective.
For me, your poem is perfect.
Best wishes as always, Debra
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Hello Marjon,
Your poem is beautifully written and it really resonated with me.
The last few months of my Grandad's illness were much like this as he was quiet, and his body got smaller and smaller. Your line 'glass body' is a perfect description.
The automatic caring that you mention in your author notes is so wonderfully captured in the words of your poem.
I particularly like the phrase 'siren voices whisper' - I know exactly what you mean here...
I love the imagery of the darkness descending 'like a heavy eyelid'...wow
Also 'caulked, battened and kissed' gives us the idea that you are following a routine and checking off your list before you leave the room.
Lovely use of alliteration throughout, its subtle yet effective.
For me, your poem is perfect.
Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Debra, a truly beautiful and complete review, six stars, and great content. Thank you very much!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your words break my heart, Marjon. How poignant although true. I could feel the deep love and utter helplessness of what was to come.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Your words break my heart, Marjon. How poignant although true. I could feel the deep love and utter helplessness of what was to come.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Jan, for the review.
Comment from Markie Doczi
Another very raw, emotional poem. Several great lines in this one!
After what a care giver goes through in this type of situation, I think it's okay to feel a bit of relief- or mixed emotions- near the end.
(I hope you don't mind me saying.)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Another very raw, emotional poem. Several great lines in this one!
After what a care giver goes through in this type of situation, I think it's okay to feel a bit of relief- or mixed emotions- near the end.
(I hope you don't mind me saying.)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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I don't mind. Thank you for the review, Markie.
