Carolina Pastorals
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "The Music of September"A celebration of North Carolina
17 total reviews
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a beautiful poem about the fall! I like many phases like:
tired green foliage of summer
tell of honeycrisp apples and cider
In the last line, shouldn't it be:
tale of honeycrisp apples and cider
I really like the last two lines, too with Greek Mythology creature and a swan.
Exceptionally done.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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What a beautiful poem about the fall! I like many phases like:
tired green foliage of summer
tell of honeycrisp apples and cider
In the last line, shouldn't it be:
tale of honeycrisp apples and cider
I really like the last two lines, too with Greek Mythology creature and a swan.
Exceptionally done.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thanks again for the exceptional review and your wonderful words of support. I am glad you enjoyed this poem about my favorite time of year. Also my birth month. I was born, according to my mother, in a hurricane in New York City on Sept 15, 1961. estory
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Wow. You told me your birthday yet I still don't know anything about you except for your writing. You just had a birthday and hope you celebrated it well.
A belated Happy Birthday.
Comment from patcelaw
The time between summer and fall can come none too soon for me. We have had record breaking heat here in Phoenix, it has been so bad that they are saying we even need to water the cacti.
Patricia
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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The time between summer and fall can come none too soon for me. We have had record breaking heat here in Phoenix, it has been so bad that they are saying we even need to water the cacti.
Patricia
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting the poem. It has been hot here too in NC. Fall is my favorite time of year and I am glad it is on the way...estory
Comment from lennis
Excellent work. I was drawn to this by the title, since I am SO ready for the seasons to change! I spent four years in Maine from the age of 11 to 15 and spent many forays into the forest, in solitude, and marveled at the changing seasons. Your poem evokes those feelings vividly and your use of imagery creates pictures of those memories very well. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Excellent work. I was drawn to this by the title, since I am SO ready for the seasons to change! I spent four years in Maine from the age of 11 to 15 and spent many forays into the forest, in solitude, and marveled at the changing seasons. Your poem evokes those feelings vividly and your use of imagery creates pictures of those memories very well. Excellent work.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent reveiw and for your compliments. This is deffinitely a pastoral romantic poem and I am glad that love of nature came through in it. I can't wait to ride up into the blue ridge and enjoy the crisp air myself. But I do miss the neon colors of New England and upstate NY. estory
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You captured the essence of September here and it is one of my favourite months, not quite summer and not quite Autumn, the twilight of all seasons, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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You captured the essence of September here and it is one of my favourite months, not quite summer and not quite Autumn, the twilight of all seasons, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting the poem. There is something inherently romantic I think about this sense of passing time and being not quite here and not quite there. This is what I tried to capture in the poem. estory
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a masterpiece--must have a 6. Your description of summer's last hurrah is vividly descriptive, full of lovely imagery mixed with the tired green in the trees. Great blend of literal and figurative language
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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This is a masterpiece--must have a 6. Your description of summer's last hurrah is vividly descriptive, full of lovely imagery mixed with the tired green in the trees. Great blend of literal and figurative language
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much for your exceptional review and your most complimentary comments. It is always an honor to hear readers speak like this about something you created and I will cherish this for some time...estory
Comment from Markie Doczi
Beautiful poem. This has fine imagery, and I really liked the first sentence of the last stanza.
Personally I would love to see this put to rhyme- but I can't help myself! Respect for the style though, and how in the comments you compared the scattered rhymes to falling leaves. Very creative!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Beautiful poem. This has fine imagery, and I really liked the first sentence of the last stanza.
Personally I would love to see this put to rhyme- but I can't help myself! Respect for the style though, and how in the comments you compared the scattered rhymes to falling leaves. Very creative!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your encouraging comments. The poem is built around images, thats for sure, and I am glad they seem to have worked in creating that sense that are there in the scene in that crisp air and sweet smell of grass. Rhythmically I wanted it to be more conversational with more subtle musical effects. So I avoided rhyme in this one. estory
Comment from Patty Palmer
There is definetly a difference in the air when September dawns as August departs. You can feel it in the air. There is actually a difference in the smell of the air the first day of school. It's also a cleansing time of year.
Good job!
Patty
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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There is definetly a difference in the air when September dawns as August departs. You can feel it in the air. There is actually a difference in the smell of the air the first day of school. It's also a cleansing time of year.
Good job!
Patty
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting the poem. Here in NC autumn comes more like October, but I wrote this in celebration of those Labor Day weekends when I would ride out to Montauk point for the sunrise and it would feel like the last day of summer and the first day of fall all in one moment. estory
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You're welcome.
Patty
Comment from rama devi
Fall's my favorite season.This is rich in delicious imagery and pacing that echoes waltzing leaves.
I enjoyed the details as well as all your fine phonetics, especially all the H sounds below in my favorite section:
The winds of change reaching us
tell of honeycrisp apples and cider
Early starlight.
A full harvest moon
hanging over a field of ripened corn.
Haybales half rolled across the hay fields.
Chrysanthemums bursting from a window box.
However, WINDS OF CHANGE sounds so cliche. I recommend conjuring an alternative phrasing there. Shifting winds is slightly less cliche. But I think you can dream up something better!
I like this simile, though I think using fades and then fading in the next line weakens the voicing. Suggest tweaking one of those words:
The music of September fades
like a harmonica and an old guitar fading away
Love the closing AHA and imagery, eloquently voiced:
when the stars of Pegasus
take wing with the swans.
Your poem certainly captures the flavor of Autumn!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Fall's my favorite season.This is rich in delicious imagery and pacing that echoes waltzing leaves.
I enjoyed the details as well as all your fine phonetics, especially all the H sounds below in my favorite section:
The winds of change reaching us
tell of honeycrisp apples and cider
Early starlight.
A full harvest moon
hanging over a field of ripened corn.
Haybales half rolled across the hay fields.
Chrysanthemums bursting from a window box.
However, WINDS OF CHANGE sounds so cliche. I recommend conjuring an alternative phrasing there. Shifting winds is slightly less cliche. But I think you can dream up something better!
I like this simile, though I think using fades and then fading in the next line weakens the voicing. Suggest tweaking one of those words:
The music of September fades
like a harmonica and an old guitar fading away
Love the closing AHA and imagery, eloquently voiced:
when the stars of Pegasus
take wing with the swans.
Your poem certainly captures the flavor of Autumn!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks again my friend for all the continued support and your wonderful comments supporting my autumn arrival poem. I will keep in mind your suggestions, maybe I can come with something better than winds of change. You seem to have picked out some of my favorite parts of the poem. I also liked that scene on the Outer Banks watching the last sail boats and the haunted cottages. estory
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:-)))) Thanks for your gracious reply!
Comment from mermaids
Fall is my favorite season and your words capture perfectly the end of summer and the beginning of Fall. "The empty windows of the haunted summer houses" is a line that clearly shows the end of summer. Your use of words create clear images in which the new season is seen through the eyes of the reader.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Fall is my favorite season and your words capture perfectly the end of summer and the beginning of Fall. "The empty windows of the haunted summer houses" is a line that clearly shows the end of summer. Your use of words create clear images in which the new season is seen through the eyes of the reader.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your encouraging support of this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and that the images worked so well in weaving this spell of the last day of summer and the first day of fall. estory
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Oh, how you make me miss America and September there! I could see, feel, smell, hear and taste the happenings I remember. Very well done!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Oh, how you make me miss America and September there! I could see, feel, smell, hear and taste the happenings I remember. Very well done!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your continued support of my poetry. You must come back for a visit! estory
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Ha ha I will!
