Reviews from

American Slums

2/4/6 poem

15 total reviews 
Comment from stephybs
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Strong and truthful, sad and and known. Your word's paint a picture and could make a teardrop fall. Lovely piece says it all with art work too. Good luck

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
    Hello friend, I thank you for your visit and the insights.
reply by stephybs on 21-Aug-2020
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This 2-4-6, In The, has the right set up and gives a black eye to America whose poor have more money and benefits than the middle class of other countries. Wish we could all be better off.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
    Hello Bill, I appreciate your visit and the kind review; thank you.
Comment from Kermit R. Mullins
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Best of luck with your "2-4-6" contest entry. the content is a great expression of society in general. It seems your title is the start of the poem rather than a description or anticipation of whats to follow. "In The" does not represent or give insight to the body of work. That's why the 4. If there was a title, I would consider a change in rating. Best regards.

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 Comment Written 21-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
    Hello friend, I appreciate your time and the constructive comments; you are right; however, since the time's up for the contest, I don't think that I can make any changes; I thank you.
Comment from Karen Estep
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well written poem. You conveyed a big message in twelve syllables! I like your choice of graphic, it fits your writing well. You may try a more bold font.
Good luck!

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
    Hello Karen, I am glad you like the poem; appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you.
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is a 2-4-6 poem. It has also three lines, the syllable count is alright, but...the three lines do not rhyme. When I look at the contest conditions, the rhyming of all three lines was required. I like the subject, the overpowering slums and poverty, but can't give more than 4 stars.

This is a great solution! I am sorry I didn't come around it yesterday evening, but what I see now is worth a star more (don't have sixes left). I hope you win. Good luck!!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
    Marjon my friend, I agree with you, I messed up and didn't read the rules well; I don't think that I can make any changes now, as the time is up; I thank you for your visit and the constructive review; please take care.
reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 21-Aug-2020
    Next time better! I liked the idea nevertheless.
    Welcome to the review.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
    I am correcting it now, I'd appreciate a second look in about 15 minutes, if you have the time; thank you very much.
reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 21-Aug-2020
    I'll look!