Gone Too Soon
Friends who have moved on40 total reviews
Comment from Boogienights
it's sad when friends move on, I have never had many friends in life, but those I did have, left behind nice memories. It's better to have friends once, then never to have friends at all. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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it's sad when friends move on, I have never had many friends in life, but those I did have, left behind nice memories. It's better to have friends once, then never to have friends at all. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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So true. I can't imagine life without friends, whether they stay forever, or for just a brief period, they still make a huge difference in how happy I am. Thanks for your good advice and for caring.
Have a happy Sunday.
Jesse
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and
presentation, Jesse.
-I am sorry to hear that
your good friend, Deena,
will be leaving.
-You wrote a good poem
about your feelings when
people move on and leave
a void in your life.
-I think in a lot of cases,
people feel the need to move
on whether it is for their job,
or just because they are restless,
and need a different environment.
-It doesn't make it any easier
because we still miss them.
-Take care and be well.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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-Nice image and
presentation, Jesse.
-I am sorry to hear that
your good friend, Deena,
will be leaving.
-You wrote a good poem
about your feelings when
people move on and leave
a void in your life.
-I think in a lot of cases,
people feel the need to move
on whether it is for their job,
or just because they are restless,
and need a different environment.
-It doesn't make it any easier
because we still miss them.
-Take care and be well.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Pam, for your kind and sympathetic comments.
I suffer from abandonment issues from clear on down to when my mom used to threaten to run away from the family when I was a young child.
You explain it well from an adult's perspective but, for me, these issues go way back. I appreciate your insights and kindness.
Please, stay well and take care, yourself.
Jesse
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You are welcome, Jesse, and thanks for sharing. I am sorry about all of the issues, and I understand about things going way back. Many of them usually do. You take care, as well.
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Thanks, Pam, for understanding.
Have a nice week.
Jesse
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You are welcome, Jesse, and you have a good week, too.
Comment from Eternal Muse
I can understand your feelings and share them. We get attached to people and grieve when they leave our lives. But they were sent to us for a purpose, whatever purpose God wanted it to be. People come and go. But it's hard to accept sometimes.
Very well written, with a good descriptive imagery and visuals; I also like your artistic presentation and artwork.
Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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I can understand your feelings and share them. We get attached to people and grieve when they leave our lives. But they were sent to us for a purpose, whatever purpose God wanted it to be. People come and go. But it's hard to accept sometimes.
Very well written, with a good descriptive imagery and visuals; I also like your artistic presentation and artwork.
Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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I am glad this resonated with you. And I agree, it is hard to accept them leaving when you're going to miss them so. Thank you for your positive comments regarding my poetics. Your kindness is very appreciated. It feels good to share my feelings and have them reciprocated. Have a great upcoming week.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from tfawcus
How very true this is. Friends come and friends go as we tread the path of life. There are only a few, a precious few, who remain for all time steadfast. It is with a particular sense of sadness that we farewell these when they pass away.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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How very true this is. Friends come and friends go as we tread the path of life. There are only a few, a precious few, who remain for all time steadfast. It is with a particular sense of sadness that we farewell these when they pass away.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
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Hello Tony. How fortunate you are to have the precious few remain for all time steadfast. I have no children; my wife passed in 2007; my parents passed away quite a while ago, and I'm not close to my siblings...all that being said, friendships I develop become more precious than all previous relationships in my life. Each friend I lose hurts more and more as time goes by. Thank you for your caring concern. May you have a pleasant week.
Jesse
Comment from rama devi
Hi Jesse! Finally, I got my keyboard.
This is highly expressive. The emotional pitch is stirring! So sorry for your recent loss.
LOVE THIS PHRASE:
the universal weave
Well timed and rhymed. One spag...since you used WHY, this needs a question mark:
Why do they leave
me grieving so,
with memories, I can't retrieve--
my lonesome heart in tow.(?)
Here too:
I've asked myself, why do they leave
while I scan the universal weave.(?)
Suggestion:
too soon(,) they're gone--
Another pair of questions:
Will I ever know the sweet hello
that never says goodbye.(?)
Or will I cry,
my head bowed low,
and never realize why...(?)
Strong poem. So sad.
People do come and go...but unconditional love lasts forever...
Warm Smiles,
rd
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Hi Jesse! Finally, I got my keyboard.
This is highly expressive. The emotional pitch is stirring! So sorry for your recent loss.
LOVE THIS PHRASE:
the universal weave
Well timed and rhymed. One spag...since you used WHY, this needs a question mark:
Why do they leave
me grieving so,
with memories, I can't retrieve--
my lonesome heart in tow.(?)
Here too:
I've asked myself, why do they leave
while I scan the universal weave.(?)
Suggestion:
too soon(,) they're gone--
Another pair of questions:
Will I ever know the sweet hello
that never says goodbye.(?)
Or will I cry,
my head bowed low,
and never realize why...(?)
Strong poem. So sad.
People do come and go...but unconditional love lasts forever...
Warm Smiles,
rd
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Hello Rama. Thank you for your 'suggestions' but I prefer to keep my poem uncluttered with question marks. I appreciate your kind comments and insights. Thank you for the excellent review and rating.
Take care,
Jesse
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Thanks for sharing your perspective, Jesse. It's entirely your right to choose no punctuation!
Warmly,
rd
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PS Another reason I suggested question marks is that you've used OTHER punctuation, so it feels like they are missing. Minimal punctuation is definitely a style choice option. May I suggest you consider not using periods since you've not used ? marks? That would align with the style choice. Up to you, of course.
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Another reason I made the suggestion:
Personally, I found it distracting to have a period INSTEAD of a question mark, since a question is usually followed by a ?. I'm curious if other reviews noticed or mentioned this?
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Thanks!
Jesse
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Thanks, Rama. I've followed your suggestion and edited my poem to remove the periods.
Jesse
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No one has mentioned, so far, the lack of question marks, or incorrect punctuation. Your keen eyes deserve a lot of credit. Thanks!
Jesse
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Aw, thanks. Most people don't bother with critique because many Fanstorians react negatively...but some do. Mostly prose writers, I've noticed. 💖
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Super!
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Yes, I've also noticed that more prose writer's are open and invite critique. More of them are serious at writing. Yet, some poets, like rspoet and tfawcus, are as serious at writing poetry. There are several more, I just mentioned a few standouts, in my mind.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for dedicating this poem to your friends who have passed through this life, and one in particular who is moving on tonight. I admired your addition of rhymes and intense scanning of the "universal weave". Your title says it all! -Joan
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Thank you for dedicating this poem to your friends who have passed through this life, and one in particular who is moving on tonight. I admired your addition of rhymes and intense scanning of the "universal weave". Your title says it all! -Joan
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Joan, it's been a while since we conversed. I am happy to hear from you again. I appreciate your kind comments on the parts you liked best, especially the title. I came up with several before deciding on this one. I am glad you like it!
Have a nice week, and stay safe and well.
Take care,
Jesse
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I have been reviewing and not been posting, since I am dealing with health issue. Take good care of yourself- Joan
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I apologize for misunderstanding your words and intention. I hope you feel better soon from your health issue. So sorry, Joan.
Jesse
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No apologies needed--we all potentially bring a different understanding of a poem we have read for the first time, especially with no introduction to the subject matter. Many thanks for your good wishes- Joan
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You're welcome, Joan.
Jesse
Comment from mermaids
There is emotion and feeling in your words. The theme of friends leaving is a sad one and I hope there are some friends that remain in your life. Your poetic form is smooth and your rhyming of words adds to the strength of your words.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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There is emotion and feeling in your words. The theme of friends leaving is a sad one and I hope there are some friends that remain in your life. Your poetic form is smooth and your rhyming of words adds to the strength of your words.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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I have one special dedicated friend who remains in my life. Others tend to come and go. I don't social network, (besides FS) so, it is hard to keep in touch when they move on in their lives. My memories are all I have to keep me warm. I am grateful for those. Thank you for your kind comments on my poetic form and the strength added by my use of rhymes intermittently. Have a great day.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Gone Too Soon, is one which asks why people and times can't remain. Things change, folks move on to new places or off the mortal coil. We all miss what was good, when what replaces it lacks any comparison.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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This poem, Gone Too Soon, is one which asks why people and times can't remain. Things change, folks move on to new places or off the mortal coil. We all miss what was good, when what replaces it lacks any comparison.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Good point, Bill. When we lose friends that are irreplaceable it hurts especially so. I also agree with your analysis that things change--constantly. Time and people can't remain in a static form for any of us. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Gone Too Soon
by Jesse James Doty
Hello, Jesse,
Nice poem about friends who have moved on. It's hard to see them go. I'm not sure if you mean they died or they moved away.
Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Gone Too Soon
by Jesse James Doty
Hello, Jesse,
Nice poem about friends who have moved on. It's hard to see them go. I'm not sure if you mean they died or they moved away.
Well done.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Gypsy, for your impressive comments. This poem was meant to be interpreted however it suits the reader. It can mean those who passed away or just moved on to another juncture in their lives which will take them away from me.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Colin John
Hi Jesse, you have made a good observation here and pretty sure lives changes means some people move on (not all) and friends get left in the aftermath , it made me think straight away of lost friends, so thanks. Cheers Colin
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Hi Jesse, you have made a good observation here and pretty sure lives changes means some people move on (not all) and friends get left in the aftermath , it made me think straight away of lost friends, so thanks. Cheers Colin
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Hello Colin. You're welcome for encouraging you to think of lost friends. It's good to remember. I cherish my memories, and that I still have them. Thank you for your kind words. Have a great week.
Take care,
Jesse
