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St Louis

Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "St. Louis Chapter 34 part 1"
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

19 total reviews 
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barb,
You know how to make a reader happy to see that McKenzie is safe and slowly on the mend. I'm still waiting to see if the relationship between Logan and McKenzie get very serious.
Gert

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    I have it on good authority that their relationship will get stronger. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Gert sherwood on 16-Aug-2020
    How nice to know, I wonder between the two who is getting anxious.
    Gert
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great flow of action and dialogue here.
"In a few minutes, someone'll come in to transport you to imagining."
I think you mean 'imaging' if it is the medical term.
Also, even though it is probably a rhetorical question, I would add a question mark to this: Where else would she be."
With a double verb a comma is not necessary in this sentence:
She started to stand, but grabbed her ribs.
I would, however, add a comma in this sentence:
Do you want me to send in a nurse or can Major Nelson help?"
put a comma after the word nurse
I think with this sentence, you mean 'cue' instead of 'clue.'
"That's my clue to wait outside."
So change it to: "That's my cue to wait outside."
Sounds like Logan is finally making things more official! At last.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was another great chapter. Looking forward to more of this. I wonder if you have included any court cases? Just the one little spag this time. "You're going to need [to] some help

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    I will make that correction. Thank you for the kind review. No court cases.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Those donuts look absolutely delicious, I'm glad I'm a savoury tooth. A excellent episode. They discovered Meghan'd phone in Park's secret apartment, and the calls are connected to Parks' phone. Good solid evidence he's most definitely a good suspect. Well done Barbara, excellent post. Blessings, Roy
Typo : I understand you get to (go) home.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    I have added the word. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 16-Aug-2020
    Most welcome Barbara, good going.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good news about Mac getting to go home. Why is it the patients have all the hard work to do? What the doctors do is easy compared to all the follow up care on the part of the patients. It looks like things end with Sidney, although I was hoping there'd be more of a surprise. Mac's still not completely trusting Logan, but she's making progress. Great characterization. Too bad about the schools being in such a state of flux. That's happening around here, too. One school opened and then had to close because some of the staff had coronavirus. judi

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    Some school districts have had 40 -60 teachers get covid during the inservice. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It sounds like the case is just about to be solved and Mackenzie is getting better. I look forward to seeing how you are bringing this story to a happy conclusion but I'll miss it.


"I understand you get to home. (get to go home?)

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 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sally Law
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Cops, doughnuts, and we are left hanging. A fine chapter that turned quickly. I'm glad she's been cleared and headed home. She needs a different setting.

Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs.....

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A simple event is so well expressed; as the taletelling is interesting and organised; I liked and have enjoyed the read; good flow of thoughts; good beginning and a casual ending; ALCREATOR

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, so this was a much happier chapter. Mackenzie now sees how much Logan cares and now she's being dicharged. I liked the banter that's going on
I only found one small thing: "I understand you get to home. = I understand you get to go home.
Looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
    I have added that little word. Thank you for the kind review.