The Runaway
(667 words) Planning my stupendous adventure10 total reviews
Comment from writer723
This is such a cute and sweet little story. I felt like I was going on an adventure with the child. I was ready to pack up my things and run off, too. Your descriptions and thought processes of a toddler were spot-on. It is a stupendous tale! I really enjoyed the journey as it unfolded. Excellent work!
  |
This is such a cute and sweet little story. I felt like I was going on an adventure with the child. I was ready to pack up my things and run off, too. Your descriptions and thought processes of a toddler were spot-on. It is a stupendous tale! I really enjoyed the journey as it unfolded. Excellent work!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2020
Comment from Sheila Golding
Yes, this is so like a child. They think the worst when being told off or not getting their own way. It's good for the child to have a dog too, a friend when all else fails. Good luck ð???
|
Yes, this is so like a child. They think the worst when being told off or not getting their own way. It's good for the child to have a dog too, a friend when all else fails. Good luck ð???
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, ha, ha little baby have a fit, and when the things didn;t go her way she run away from home... straight to the tree across the street. "
Mommy and Daddy won't know I'm in the kennel tonight because they probably don't even know I've run away. They don't care about me. Bailey does. He's my bestest friend ever!! He kisses me with slobber just like Jason. " So Mommy and Daddy are the villains in this story, but all is well when it ends with macaroni and cheese. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
|
Ha, ha, ha little baby have a fit, and when the things didn;t go her way she run away from home... straight to the tree across the street. "
Mommy and Daddy won't know I'm in the kennel tonight because they probably don't even know I've run away. They don't care about me. Bailey does. He's my bestest friend ever!! He kisses me with slobber just like Jason. " So Mommy and Daddy are the villains in this story, but all is well when it ends with macaroni and cheese. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
-
Yum yum mac and cheese solves everything.
I remember running away and climbing a tree to hide from my villainous parents. Then I got hungry.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This sounds just like a child would speak Mystery Writer. I enjoyed reading this entry. I like the way the child 'analyzes' everything. The use of stupendous several times works, too. Kids like to repeat things, and that seems important here. The ending is perfect. Now the child can run way back home.
Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
This sounds just like a child would speak Mystery Writer. I enjoyed reading this entry. I like the way the child 'analyzes' everything. The use of stupendous several times works, too. Kids like to repeat things, and that seems important here. The ending is perfect. Now the child can run way back home.
Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
Thanks for your lovely review. I was trying to remember some of the times i "ran away from home" just because my feelings got hurt about some inconsequential thing. I've always liked to climb trees.
Comment from zanya
Ah-h-h this is such a cute piece of writing telling of the child's adventure hiding up there in the tree - experiencing some of life's little hiccups - the voice of the child has such an authentic tone
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
Ah-h-h this is such a cute piece of writing telling of the child's adventure hiding up there in the tree - experiencing some of life's little hiccups - the voice of the child has such an authentic tone
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing. I think I am a child at heart. I often want to run away and climb a tree, though maybe not eat dog biscuits!
Comment from elchupakabra
I have to be honest that picture of Dora is disconcerting lol. It's somewhat terrifying. The actual story is well done, very child like indeed. Great work, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
I have to be honest that picture of Dora is disconcerting lol. It's somewhat terrifying. The actual story is well done, very child like indeed. Great work, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
I think she looks cute in that picture and you find her terrifying! You should see her dog!!
Thanks for the terrific review. (actually, I just noticed that word looks like terrifying as well.)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about the child that get punished for things she did wrong and feel she is treated unfairly and plan to run away, but she only get halfway up the tree before her family find her and convince her to go home with them.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
A very well-written story about the child that get punished for things she did wrong and feel she is treated unfairly and plan to run away, but she only get halfway up the tree before her family find her and convince her to go home with them.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
Thank you. I love macaroni cheese too.
Comment from TommyWrites
This is sweet!
You defiantly did a good job writing it from a child's point of view. It was perfect! You kept me wanting to read more. It's funny, children's anger. One second they will be mad at something so silly, then they'll be happy.
Great story here, and great contest entry. Good luck!
TommyWrites~
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
This is sweet!
You defiantly did a good job writing it from a child's point of view. It was perfect! You kept me wanting to read more. It's funny, children's anger. One second they will be mad at something so silly, then they'll be happy.
Great story here, and great contest entry. Good luck!
TommyWrites~
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
Thanks for the great review. I ran away from home a few times when I was a kid and got in a huff but only got as far as the local park.
Comment from Michael Dane
Stupendous! This story captures the fleeting whims and naive innocence of a childhood adventure. The dog biscuits as "travel rations" brought a smile to my face. A thoroughly enjoyable story!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
Stupendous! This story captures the fleeting whims and naive innocence of a childhood adventure. The dog biscuits as "travel rations" brought a smile to my face. A thoroughly enjoyable story!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
Thanks for this lovely review. I liked eating dog biscuits when i was a kid.
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
A very nice "From the viewpoint of a child" story. It is so endearing to read what a little girl makes her cross at mommy and daddy. And how, in a tree, she is planning to run away the next day with her dog. I laughed at the list of things she has chosen to take with her. Beautiful innocence!
Mom and dad can lure her out of the tree with her favorite meal and a promise to paint a "mural" the next day. "Stupendous" piece!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
|
A very nice "From the viewpoint of a child" story. It is so endearing to read what a little girl makes her cross at mommy and daddy. And how, in a tree, she is planning to run away the next day with her dog. I laughed at the list of things she has chosen to take with her. Beautiful innocence!
Mom and dad can lure her out of the tree with her favorite meal and a promise to paint a "mural" the next day. "Stupendous" piece!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
-
Thanks for your stupendous review.
-
Welcome!
