The Message
Someday, if we are listening, an answer may come8 total reviews
Comment from Beverly A McBride
Intriguing story. Very well written. I was pulled in hook, line and sinker. These philosophical ideas are sorta above me, but I hope someone out there can keep track and sort through as should be. I don't think our little human brains are mastering this kind of thinking, yet. I hope someone can. And we have no answer for it. Good job with the story.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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Intriguing story. Very well written. I was pulled in hook, line and sinker. These philosophical ideas are sorta above me, but I hope someone out there can keep track and sort through as should be. I don't think our little human brains are mastering this kind of thinking, yet. I hope someone can. And we have no answer for it. Good job with the story.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much Beverly. You made my day.
Comment from Lucy de Welles
Definitely a six star entry. (Wish I had one to give). Best thing I've read in ages. Strong, solid, interesting, attention grabbing, flows fast from beginning to end. Engaging characters interacting emotionally with the topics under discussion. Conclusion left open ended. Just jump in anywhere and start swimming. Outside the box. Situation believable.
Solution, of course, will be in a child's toybox because all truly complex things are so simple that only a childlike mind will receive.
Very lovely engraved poem on the locket. Riddle.
Reader holds breath wondering what is going to happen when the child is done pronouncing the magic words!
Typo: EPILOG(UE).
Also, maybe whoever, would be running or rushing or hurling, out of the woodwork. that sentence falls flat.
Otherwise, I don't see anything to fix. Except, if you might put a separation space in the few places where one is needed to divide tiny paragraphs. There are a few of those places. Aesthetics, and all...
It is so perfect, Brad. Top shelf stuff here.
Pleasure to read it.
Lucy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Definitely a six star entry. (Wish I had one to give). Best thing I've read in ages. Strong, solid, interesting, attention grabbing, flows fast from beginning to end. Engaging characters interacting emotionally with the topics under discussion. Conclusion left open ended. Just jump in anywhere and start swimming. Outside the box. Situation believable.
Solution, of course, will be in a child's toybox because all truly complex things are so simple that only a childlike mind will receive.
Very lovely engraved poem on the locket. Riddle.
Reader holds breath wondering what is going to happen when the child is done pronouncing the magic words!
Typo: EPILOG(UE).
Also, maybe whoever, would be running or rushing or hurling, out of the woodwork. that sentence falls flat.
Otherwise, I don't see anything to fix. Except, if you might put a separation space in the few places where one is needed to divide tiny paragraphs. There are a few of those places. Aesthetics, and all...
It is so perfect, Brad. Top shelf stuff here.
Pleasure to read it.
Lucy
Comment Written 27-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Wow, thank you, Lucy, it's not the 6 stars I crave, it's being truly read and understood, and you made my day. My spell check says Epilog is OK, my Canadian one corrects it. Will look at the woodwork quote, I think I said, 'crazies, will be coming out of it, I was using a slang term referring to radicals. I'm just happy you even noticed it. It's obvious many reviewers don't read all of a text, or just skim through it. A reviewer like you is a true joy. Thank you again.
Comment from RShipp
"When it's hot, Texans can fry eggs on the hoods of cars. When it rains, it comes like a splash from a giant, overfilled bathtub. It hits the ground so hard; it bounces back up, drenching everything, rendering umbrellas useless." Texeans seem to brag about everything!
"he could have been the finest physicist of our generation. But he branched off into mysticism and mumbo jumbo theories of the universe. Even the radicals think he's a fruit bar." ... There always seems to be a fine line between GENIUS and CUCKOO-CLOCK?
I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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"When it's hot, Texans can fry eggs on the hoods of cars. When it rains, it comes like a splash from a giant, overfilled bathtub. It hits the ground so hard; it bounces back up, drenching everything, rendering umbrellas useless." Texeans seem to brag about everything!
"he could have been the finest physicist of our generation. But he branched off into mysticism and mumbo jumbo theories of the universe. Even the radicals think he's a fruit bar." ... There always seems to be a fine line between GENIUS and CUCKOO-CLOCK?
I enjoyed!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2020
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You got it! Great review, and thanks for the stars. Serious scientist are so boring, gimme a fruit bar any day.
Comment from Dick Narvett
An intelligent sci-fi story that involves multiple locations and a cast of characters which are fairly well developed given the amount of space allotted. You bait the reader with the opening message, then lead them down scientific and metaphysical paths to the simple but unexplained conclusion of a child's discovery. I guess grandpa actually did find the method of communication afterall.
I advise you to re-edit for punctuation in general, but I'd like to point out a few word corrections needed:
I believe ".. the edge of the gapping dish" wants to be gaping.
"... they say you have incite into matters..." wants to be insight.
In the last couple of paragraphs before the epilog, you use the word "except" three times. It should be "accept".
In the paragraph when you first describe traveling to the telescope at Arecibo, it appears you mix both past and present tenses.
Very well-written and interesting story overall.
Dick
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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An intelligent sci-fi story that involves multiple locations and a cast of characters which are fairly well developed given the amount of space allotted. You bait the reader with the opening message, then lead them down scientific and metaphysical paths to the simple but unexplained conclusion of a child's discovery. I guess grandpa actually did find the method of communication afterall.
I advise you to re-edit for punctuation in general, but I'd like to point out a few word corrections needed:
I believe ".. the edge of the gapping dish" wants to be gaping.
"... they say you have incite into matters..." wants to be insight.
In the last couple of paragraphs before the epilog, you use the word "except" three times. It should be "accept".
In the paragraph when you first describe traveling to the telescope at Arecibo, it appears you mix both past and present tenses.
Very well-written and interesting story overall.
Dick
Comment Written 18-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much Dick for this review. I wish I had your ability to edit properly, but unfortunately, I can look at a sentence a dozen times and not see the error. Spelling weakness doesn't help either.
I believe most of the punctuation mistakes you mention are in comma location? My other bain.
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Yes, some are, and commas are my (bane) also. I won't dwell on them, but in some cases, you have commas where periods would be more appropriate.
I will give you a few more corrections, however, since you asked.
"... Oh my God!" He gasped, (")isn;t that..."
"... with its weary group of scientist(s)..."
"I realize we are just the messanger(')s here gentlemen..."
"...resident professor(')s(') housing area."
"...ivy(-)draped(,)brick facades"
"... but Whiteside(')s was explicit."
"...piled(-)high books..."
Dick
Comment from Ben B.
Finally, writing that isn't so down to earth just like mine. Amazing how this much conflict is usually resolved in a novel rather than just a short story but you managed. Nice touch with that "God complex" up in the middle there. Other than Star Trek, most Sci Fi stories don't even bring up religion.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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Finally, writing that isn't so down to earth just like mine. Amazing how this much conflict is usually resolved in a novel rather than just a short story but you managed. Nice touch with that "God complex" up in the middle there. Other than Star Trek, most Sci Fi stories don't even bring up religion.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much Ben. You've made my day. There are a few that didn't understand this story. You've given me hope there is room for Sci Fi here, this story means much to me. Thank you again.
Comment from elchupakabra
Making him look far older than his fifty years. (better as part of a sentence rather than a whole one)
"Approximately 0227:18 Puerto Rican time." (time typo, Puerto Rico's time)
The crazy's will be out of the woodwork. (crazies)
EPILOG(UE)
There were several small edits needed throughout the piece, I sort of gave up until the epilogue because that really stood out. Otherwise though, focusing on the story, I thought it was a solid story. Good work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Making him look far older than his fifty years. (better as part of a sentence rather than a whole one)
"Approximately 0227:18 Puerto Rican time." (time typo, Puerto Rico's time)
The crazy's will be out of the woodwork. (crazies)
EPILOG(UE)
There were several small edits needed throughout the piece, I sort of gave up until the epilogue because that really stood out. Otherwise though, focusing on the story, I thought it was a solid story. Good work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Many thanks from here. Yeah, I dumped this on without giving it enough attention. Wrote this many years ago, but I still can't spot those niggling typo's. Will go through again.
Comment from CandySoda777
Please give more explanation and background. Too many things were happening too quickly without any background. I also do not understand the ending. Even though I was very confused the parts I did understand was very interesting. Perhaps if you would give some more explanation it would be easier to understand for less educated people like myself?
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Please give more explanation and background. Too many things were happening too quickly without any background. I also do not understand the ending. Even though I was very confused the parts I did understand was very interesting. Perhaps if you would give some more explanation it would be easier to understand for less educated people like myself?
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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This is a story about a Radio telescope receiving a non-sensical message. This sets off a problem, they must try and decipher it. They approach a famous scientist for help. That man tells us anything is possible, that it's beyond science, and into the world of mysticism. The closing section at the bottom, where the mother explains the locket to her child, reveals how the message was sent. It was her child's voice that became the message, (bold print.) In other words, her grandfather, who discovered our world in his job as a scientist, didn't know he could have easily reached us, by merely by talking into the locket.
At the bottom in the author's notes I try to show my intent.
Comment from equestrik
This is interesting and well written. I also like that the message was connected the a child whose innocence makes it perfect. The religious part isn't really me but I get the point. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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This is interesting and well written. I also like that the message was connected the a child whose innocence makes it perfect. The religious part isn't really me but I get the point. Nicely done.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Thanks, I explain my religious view at the bottom in the author's notes. This story was written many years ago.
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yes, i read that :)
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Many Thanks, for your read, and your review. I'm going back and editing a bit, I've had one reader who didn't understand it at all. If you feel there any areas that need clarity, please let me know.
