Favorite Short Stories, Vol. 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Inherited Rage"an eclectic fiction collection, old and new
6 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
There is a culture that many who do not live there cannot understand... a code that is not based on any known morality... A very well-written first-person accounting of such a culture... Thanx for sharing, my lady, and best of luck in the contest! ;) Yvette
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There is a culture that many who do not live there cannot understand... a code that is not based on any known morality... A very well-written first-person accounting of such a culture... Thanx for sharing, my lady, and best of luck in the contest! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from l.raven
HI Dawn, WOW you...I love the ending...leaving everyone
thinking...what would that favor be???...good or bad...
sad thing is sweet angel...so many out there truly live
lives like that...sigh...I love your story told...held my attention all the way girl...very well written...and a perfect picture my sweet friend...love you much...Linda xxoo
Hey You, so good to see ya...I hope you are doing well...and safe and sound ...I've been off and on still for awhile...just got home from helping mom...and about the get out again...I hope to land soon...LOL...you take care and God Bless...xxoo
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HI Dawn, WOW you...I love the ending...leaving everyone
thinking...what would that favor be???...good or bad...
sad thing is sweet angel...so many out there truly live
lives like that...sigh...I love your story told...held my attention all the way girl...very well written...and a perfect picture my sweet friend...love you much...Linda xxoo
Hey You, so good to see ya...I hope you are doing well...and safe and sound ...I've been off and on still for awhile...just got home from helping mom...and about the get out again...I hope to land soon...LOL...you take care and God Bless...xxoo
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow amazing piece of writing, not only with the lingo of a street kid, but the interraction with the reader is perfect. Very nicely done for the contest and no problems i could see, but then i was reading too fast. LOL
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Wow amazing piece of writing, not only with the lingo of a street kid, but the interraction with the reader is perfect. Very nicely done for the contest and no problems i could see, but then i was reading too fast. LOL
Comment Written 06-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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What a wonderful compliment! Thank you, Barb.
Comment from Gloria ....
Definitely a fine flash fiction with all excess words trimmed to the bone. The motion is swift, the tone a tsunami of "inherited" rage and there is going to be some payback going on when Dad gets out of jail.
A fine job with the Dawn and just one question in this sentence: somebody is always going to think you're better off than you are. I wondered if you meant better off than they are in that line.
Wishing you much luck with the Committee.
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Definitely a fine flash fiction with all excess words trimmed to the bone. The motion is swift, the tone a tsunami of "inherited" rage and there is going to be some payback going on when Dad gets out of jail.
A fine job with the Dawn and just one question in this sentence: somebody is always going to think you're better off than you are. I wondered if you meant better off than they are in that line.
Wishing you much luck with the Committee.
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Gloria, you are so, so kind -- thank you! Change made!
Comment from Earl Corp
Wow. This was a great piece of flash fiction, it seemed so real I expected to to see True Story contest entry when I got to the bottom. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow. This was a great piece of flash fiction, it seemed so real I expected to to see True Story contest entry when I got to the bottom. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2020
Comment from Susan X Smith
This is a pretty spooky story about a somewhat sordid situation. This young man certainly had an awful life as a child. It sounds like he is planning to kill his father eventually, which, while understandable, will only add to his problems. I enjoyed reading this one.
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This is a pretty spooky story about a somewhat sordid situation. This young man certainly had an awful life as a child. It sounds like he is planning to kill his father eventually, which, while understandable, will only add to his problems. I enjoyed reading this one.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2020
