Time Paused Today
A Rondaful65 total reviews
Comment from Coco Jane
Nicely done!
This is an unusual pattern, and you execute it well. I like the way the last stanza works; this takes some planning as you write the first two stanzas.
What a sad poem. Neat idea that a bird is the lost beloved person.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Nicely done!
This is an unusual pattern, and you execute it well. I like the way the last stanza works; this takes some planning as you write the first two stanzas.
What a sad poem. Neat idea that a bird is the lost beloved person.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thanks for your review and kind comments. It?s a form that?s easier to construct backwards, starting with the closing couplet.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and
presentation, Tony.
-A well written poem
with Dolly's new form.
-A good topic that
reflects on what was.
-I like all of the bird
references that serve as
reminders of youth, and
how fast it goes by
"and took wing."
-I also like "small domestic truth."
-The open ended nature of
the poem is also done well,
leaving us with the reasons
for turning away.
-Well done.
-Hope everyone is doing well.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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-Good image and
presentation, Tony.
-A well written poem
with Dolly's new form.
-A good topic that
reflects on what was.
-I like all of the bird
references that serve as
reminders of youth, and
how fast it goes by
"and took wing."
-I also like "small domestic truth."
-The open ended nature of
the poem is also done well,
leaving us with the reasons
for turning away.
-Well done.
-Hope everyone is doing well.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review, Pam. Much appreciated. All well here. We were hoping to fly up to Brisbane towards the end of September for Henry's first birthday, but there's a second wave of Covid-19 sweeping through the eastern states at the moment, so that's now in doubt. So far, nothing significant in South Australia. I trust all is well with you and Robert. Thinking of you. Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome, Tony. I can't believe Henry is going to be one! I am glad to hear things are still good where you are. Things are good here, too. Take care. Any word regarding your book?
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Still working on the structural edit!
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Thanks for the update. Continued good luck with it!
Comment from mermaids
There is a light flow and feel to your words. The image of the small bird takes the reader out into nature and the feel of the bird representing someone is clear. Excellent poetic form with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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There is a light flow and feel to your words. The image of the small bird takes the reader out into nature and the feel of the bird representing someone is clear. Excellent poetic form with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks very much for your review and kind comments, Mermaids. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a lovely, touching piece. It vividly parallels the enjoyment of scenes in nature with the personal events--in this case, painful ones--that they remind us of.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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This is a lovely, touching piece. It vividly parallels the enjoyment of scenes in nature with the personal events--in this case, painful ones--that they remind us of.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks very much for your review and kind comments, Janice. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
A very interesting form, that I will Bookcase to study further. Your chosen words are composed well with the metaphoric bird. To pause and think back, and. as you do, the bird flies by.
"But, as my memory of you took wing,
a bird flew by" Very nice!
Ralf
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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A very interesting form, that I will Bookcase to study further. Your chosen words are composed well with the metaphoric bird. To pause and think back, and. as you do, the bird flies by.
"But, as my memory of you took wing,
a bird flew by" Very nice!
Ralf
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks very much for your review and kind comments, Raif. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from gramalot8
Very good poem for this complicated style. Thank you for your insightful message. Too often we seem to ignore those we love the most by not paying attention at that right moment, or brushing off a comment with a 'huh' or a shrug, or just not being there when needed. And too many times it's too late.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Very good poem for this complicated style. Thank you for your insightful message. Too often we seem to ignore those we love the most by not paying attention at that right moment, or brushing off a comment with a 'huh' or a shrug, or just not being there when needed. And too many times it's too late.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks very much for your review and empathetic comments, Gramalot. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Selyob
This is not a style I normally would enjoy, yet with masterful magic you have made it not only pleasureful to me, but deeply moving. Simply an amazing poem! Thank you.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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This is not a style I normally would enjoy, yet with masterful magic you have made it not only pleasureful to me, but deeply moving. Simply an amazing poem! Thank you.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and the accolade of a sixth star, Selyob. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
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Tony, thank you for writing something worthy of those fifth and sixth stars! I am considered the scum of the Earth around here for my harsh reviews... it is so very pleasing to be able to find a perfect poem!
I look forward to reading more of your work... as long as it is not positioned opposite my own in a contest... it sucks voting for someone else's work over my own! LOL.
Comment from Boogienights
A great poem written in an interesting format. A poem filled with longing and regret, of something lost. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem. I really enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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A great poem written in an interesting format. A poem filled with longing and regret, of something lost. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem. I really enjoyed this.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Thanks very much for your review and kind comments, Boogienights. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from karenina
What in interesting form. What a relatable theme. Regardless of age we have all had moments when a simple and unexpected "cue" has called forth a memory, a feeling, a loss--and we are left, for a moment, with one foot in the here and now and one in the event that, with perspective, we may well view very differently.--Karenina
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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What in interesting form. What a relatable theme. Regardless of age we have all had moments when a simple and unexpected "cue" has called forth a memory, a feeling, a loss--and we are left, for a moment, with one foot in the here and now and one in the event that, with perspective, we may well view very differently.--Karenina
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review, Karenina. Much appreciated. Yes, it is strange the way small incidents can rekindle old memories, isn't it? All good wishes, Tony
Comment from amada
"Time paused todayh..." I think this is a very beautiful line, it could be used in several instances, both good ones or not so good ones. Your poem, the Rondaful reads like a musical piece, almost. Great.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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"Time paused todayh..." I think this is a very beautiful line, it could be used in several instances, both good ones or not so good ones. Your poem, the Rondaful reads like a musical piece, almost. Great.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review, Amada. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
