Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Contemplation"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
30 total reviews
Comment from kmoss
I love this! I like how the title is Contemplation and in a few short words(whispers) consolation.The artwork is beautiful also. Outstanding! Which I've come to expect from your writing! :)
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
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I love this! I like how the title is Contemplation and in a few short words(whispers) consolation.The artwork is beautiful also. Outstanding! Which I've come to expect from your writing! :)
Comment Written 17-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
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Thank you! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from LisaMay
I see you've got your head around metaphor! This is beautifully soothing - well worth the labour of crafting it to catch that mood so succinctly. You are stealing like an artist now, with Shakespeare's Soft!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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I see you've got your head around metaphor! This is beautifully soothing - well worth the labour of crafting it to catch that mood so succinctly. You are stealing like an artist now, with Shakespeare's Soft!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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The only thing I got out of H.S. Shakespeare! Thanks for stopping by--this is a rererepromotion--I assumed that you'd read it back when.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes! You chose just the right word. I think this is very beautiful, and so well thought through. It's that attention to detail which makes it just lovely. (I wish I could add on, but don't think I'm up to that yet.)
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2020
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Yes! You chose just the right word. I think this is very beautiful, and so well thought through. It's that attention to detail which makes it just lovely. (I wish I could add on, but don't think I'm up to that yet.)
Comment Written 15-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2020
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Thank you Wendy! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from AnnieDawn
Wow. This is beautiful. You always post something that has substance to it and makes one think. This one has an unusual picture but the compliment completes the poem. Great job.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2020
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Wow. This is beautiful. You always post something that has substance to it and makes one think. This one has an unusual picture but the compliment completes the poem. Great job.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2020
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Thank you AnnieDawn! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Very well done Elizabeth, In just a few words you set a mood in just a few well chosen words of solace.
I love the imagery you chosen as a cathedral to match your words.
Good work Elizabeth.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2020
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Very well done Elizabeth, In just a few words you set a mood in just a few well chosen words of solace.
I love the imagery you chosen as a cathedral to match your words.
Good work Elizabeth.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 15-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2020
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Thank you Mary! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
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Thank you Mary! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Strong alliteration. Meets the seven syllables per line of the couplet requirement of this unique form of poetry. First line would read better as silent, not silence, and maintain the two syllable count.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2020
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Strong alliteration. Meets the seven syllables per line of the couplet requirement of this unique form of poetry. First line would read better as silent, not silence, and maintain the two syllable count.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2020
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Thank you Brett. I used the noun silence to follow possessive sunset's--do you mean that I should say sunset (implied IS) silent? I'll poll my reviewers!
Comment from Alchera
"Soft! In sunset's silence sound
whispers of consolation"
Superbly described verses throughout alliteration and syllables counting enclosing a spectral natural beauty and comforter of human piety.
I love it all!
Yes, dearest friend, you are absolutely right! I felt this sensation on my skin when my mother died in the cathedral. That silent comforting silence permeates and penetrates your painful soul as you are for the last time near your lost beloved as the sun's rays of sunset penetrate the cathedral glass and recline to bid their farewell to the coffin and the beginning of the viaticum.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2020
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"Soft! In sunset's silence sound
whispers of consolation"
Superbly described verses throughout alliteration and syllables counting enclosing a spectral natural beauty and comforter of human piety.
I love it all!
Yes, dearest friend, you are absolutely right! I felt this sensation on my skin when my mother died in the cathedral. That silent comforting silence permeates and penetrates your painful soul as you are for the last time near your lost beloved as the sun's rays of sunset penetrate the cathedral glass and recline to bid their farewell to the coffin and the beginning of the viaticum.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2020
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What a lovely ssssssurprise! The only six I got for this one. I am touched by your heartfelt remarks. Stop by anytime!
(A reviewer said to change "sunset's silence" to "sunset silent" --what do you think?)
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I had a real problem with google and the web connection, too, when at dawn I had finished my reply and lost everything I had written. so sorry for my delay.
"Soft! In sunset's silence sound
whispers of consolation"
I like it as it is ...but...
as you can notice I used "silent" in my heartfelt review, too.
So if I should change it I would prefer for that dolorous minded-mind moment:
"Soft! In silent sunset sound
whispers of consolation"
but it's up to you now as you like!
Thank you again,Elizabeth, for your immense cultural help and blessings! Tony
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Thank you for getting back to me, Tony! I polled four others: one calls it a toss-up; three say leave as is, so STET wins!
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I am happy for you!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is a creative poem. Love how you set a mood with just two lines. And it's such an enjoyable one. Love the word choices. Thought your entire presentation was perfect. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2020
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This is a creative poem. Love how you set a mood with just two lines. And it's such an enjoyable one. Love the word choices. Thought your entire presentation was perfect. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2020
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Thank you! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork
and presentation, Liz.
-Effective imagery that
paints a picture of the sunset.
-I like the opening with
the single word, "Soft!"
-It reminds me of how
Shakespeare used it in
"Romeo and Juliet."
-There is a peaceful mood
with the beginning, "silence,"
and "whispers."
-Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2020
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-Very nice artwork
and presentation, Liz.
-Effective imagery that
paints a picture of the sunset.
-I like the opening with
the single word, "Soft!"
-It reminds me of how
Shakespeare used it in
"Romeo and Juliet."
-There is a peaceful mood
with the beginning, "silence,"
and "whispers."
-Well done.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2020
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Thank you Pam! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
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You are very welcome, Liz, and you did a good job.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written couplet in addition to the multi-author Renga book. At the end of the day when the sun sets we find peace within our hearts and put the stress at rest.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2020
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A very well-written couplet in addition to the multi-author Renga book. At the end of the day when the sun sets we find peace within our hearts and put the stress at rest.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2020
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Thank you Sandra! Metaphor and nature imagery is a stretch for me--pleased you found it worthy. Cheers. LIZ
