Faith In God
you have to have faith68 total reviews
Comment from Bill Pinder
Excellent short poem that expresses your faith in God very well. I like your picture of the dove being set free to fly as it matches your writing very well. Thanks for sharing your creativity with this important reminder. Bill
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Excellent short poem that expresses your faith in God very well. I like your picture of the dove being set free to fly as it matches your writing very well. Thanks for sharing your creativity with this important reminder. Bill
Comment Written 03-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Bill, so good to see you my friend...thank you for a wonderful review...and you are sooooo very welcome...love Linda xxoo
Comment from Minglement
Amen! I had to say that, first off. What a great faith Poem, affirming that we all have His love to set us free from strife.
Well done. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Amen! I had to say that, first off. What a great faith Poem, affirming that we all have His love to set us free from strife.
Well done. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Minglement, Thank You sweet girl for a wonderful review...and all your lovely stars...His love truly sets us free...we are so blessed...and He asked so little...thank you...and you are so welcome...love you...Linda xxoo
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My pleasure :) God bless.
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God Bless you as well...smiling back at you...xxoo love
Comment from MissMerri
I agree... we have to have faith. Especially now when the world seems so messed up. God is the only thing we have that never changes. But you have said it so well already. I see nothing I would want to change. I enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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I agree... we have to have faith. Especially now when the world seems so messed up. God is the only thing we have that never changes. But you have said it so well already. I see nothing I would want to change. I enjoyed this.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Adonna, thank you so much for a wonderful review...
and I agree with you as well...we have to have faith...
I never thought I would see days like these...and hope my children...an their children never see them again...I just pray
it passes soon....thank you...love...Linda xxoo
Comment from Aussie
Congratulations on All Time Best! When we let our head rule our heart, that is when confusion reigns supreme in a life without a dream. Well done my friend. K xx
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Congratulations on All Time Best! When we let our head rule our heart, that is when confusion reigns supreme in a life without a dream. Well done my friend. K xx
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Kace, Thank You so much sweetie pie...so much to take in these days...I just keep praying it all passes fast...thank you for a wonderful review my sweet friend...I hope all is well with you and Toby...God Bless...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment from Selyob
Good poem expressing your faith and confidence in your God. I like the continuity of the thought and emotions expressed in the word choice "lost" and "blind." Well done.
Concerning your complaint... I see what you mean about my failure to explain the lack of stars. Please accept my apology. I have grown tired of being slapped for offering honest critiques. Most people on here seem to merely want a pat on the head. Your desire for honest criticism, so that you can improve your writing is a breath of fresh air!
Below is my honest critique.
It feels too choppy to me. It lacks a smooth flow, almost as if three incomplete thoughts were simply stacked atop each other and called a poem. There is no transition provided, and thus it is very abrupt. That abruptness stripped it of its potential.
That may be what you intended, however, I would like to have seen more effort given to smoothing the transition between each thought/line. This smoothness could have been accomplished with only a few more words which would have retained the conciseness and yet removed the jagged abruptness.
Also, consider the following questions:
How do lostness and blindness connect?
Lostness and blindness... how does God's love free you from these?
There is no reference to bondage or imprisonment, so in what way are you made "free?"
Are you implying that lostness and blindness are a form of bondage or imprisonment? If so, in what way do they bind or imprison you? To what extent do they do so?
As I said in the beginning, this is a good poem... in the technical sense. But it is lacking the polish that would make it a truly magnificent poem... and magnificent it could very well become.
I would LOVE to read your revision should you choose to share one. And, thanks again for actually caring about how to improve your poetry, and caring what I think.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Good poem expressing your faith and confidence in your God. I like the continuity of the thought and emotions expressed in the word choice "lost" and "blind." Well done.
Concerning your complaint... I see what you mean about my failure to explain the lack of stars. Please accept my apology. I have grown tired of being slapped for offering honest critiques. Most people on here seem to merely want a pat on the head. Your desire for honest criticism, so that you can improve your writing is a breath of fresh air!
Below is my honest critique.
It feels too choppy to me. It lacks a smooth flow, almost as if three incomplete thoughts were simply stacked atop each other and called a poem. There is no transition provided, and thus it is very abrupt. That abruptness stripped it of its potential.
That may be what you intended, however, I would like to have seen more effort given to smoothing the transition between each thought/line. This smoothness could have been accomplished with only a few more words which would have retained the conciseness and yet removed the jagged abruptness.
Also, consider the following questions:
How do lostness and blindness connect?
Lostness and blindness... how does God's love free you from these?
There is no reference to bondage or imprisonment, so in what way are you made "free?"
Are you implying that lostness and blindness are a form of bondage or imprisonment? If so, in what way do they bind or imprison you? To what extent do they do so?
As I said in the beginning, this is a good poem... in the technical sense. But it is lacking the polish that would make it a truly magnificent poem... and magnificent it could very well become.
I would LOVE to read your revision should you choose to share one. And, thanks again for actually caring about how to improve your poetry, and caring what I think.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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in the FanStory rules...I take it you haven't had time to read them yet...anything below five stars is to be explained why...reading your comments to some of the most talented writers on this site...even a teacher of poetry...you low stared them...you really don't have a clue...please read the rules...
I can take being low stared as well as anyone else...but should be earned...you say nothing wrong about this poem...yet you gave it a bad grade... like A,B,C's on a report card in school...it's the same as the number of stars given...thanks
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I can hear the frustration in your reply. I do apologize for causing that as I too want open and honest critiques.
Thank you for pointing out my error in not offering a clear explanation. That is not like me, let me go back and reevaluate my previous comments and correct my oversight.
As for my strong critiques of the work on this site, I am honest. I have no problem giving 5 and 6 stars when they are deserved. If I err it is usually to the side of kindness most of the time.
Concerning the teacher whom you feel wronged, If I found something to criticize, the work was incomplete, or deficient. Remember, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and so it is with poetry.
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I read some of the poems you low rated...
and they didn't deserve low grades...some deserved even higher than six stars...you still have a lot to learn about reviewing...
and I'm not just taking about the stars...
you don't take a persons poem and make it personal to what you like to be...that is their personal words written...not to be criticized..the pictures are their personal choice...shouldn't be questioned....the colors...their choice...
you should only be reviewing the flaws in the write/poem...
giving good ideas to what would make it sound or look better...in your opinion...but it is still their poem/writes...your ideas should not degrade the poem...spelling and other flaws are what you should be grading...not the persons feelings...
all the poems and writings these talented people display on this site...are beauty to their eyes...every poem...every story told...is a masterpiece to them...not just a page..or a story thrown out here to be degraded...make corrections when wrong...that's what FanStory is about...learning...teaching...
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maybe you should stop being tired of getting slapped for what you think is honest critiques...I want no pat on the head...and most on here don't as well...they truly want your opinions...but when right...
some of the thing you wrote were wrong in your corrections...I am not perfect in my reviewing as well...I have read the poems/stories wrong...but I don't make person remarks about someones poems/writings...when you say a poem is good...that is how you rate it...that's why I said...read the rules...I'm not trying to be mean...just help you from not getting slapped...these are really awesome people on site...they want help when wrong...I didn't read all of this...I know it is a good poem...people just get angry when their reviews read different from their stars...I always tell new comers to read the rules...so they understand...not to be mean...but to help...God Bless...goodbye
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If you feel my comments violate the spirit of or the rules for reviews, then please report it to the moderators.
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asking you to read the rules to understand the stars was trying to help you...don't read them...that is up to you...but don't get mad when people slap you...and that is not what I was trying to do...most new comers understand that...
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That is your opinion, and you are entitled to it.
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Thank you for your concern.
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I'm going to try to explain what this poem is saying...
when my heart seems lost...
that is saying...when I can't find what once made my heart sing...because of bad things going on around me...my heart isn't the same...it's unhappy...it's lost it's will to sing...to feel...
and when I say...
blinded by my emotions...this means...I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel...what I am feeling won't let go...and my heart is broken because of things going in the world...
the connection is...
when I feel lost and nowhere to turn...
and I can't see my way out...
I turn to Gods love of me...and my faith in Him...and pray...and He frees my thoughts of bad things around me...to good things...
and it isn't long before God's love puts me back on my journey home...
you asked me how God's love could free you from these???...lostness and blindness...you put on your profile that your a Bible student....how could you not know the answer to that question???...my answer is...I believe God's love can free me from anything that is causing me pain...all I have to do is ask...know truly from my heart He is all...and love Him like no other...and He will be there for me...hope this helped
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I SOOOO appreciate your coming back and answering my questions. In fact... sincerely... I cannot thank you highly enough for doing so. However, I am afraid to respond to your comments as I fear you will be offended again... though nothing could be further from my intent. I feel that somewhere along the way, my comments were shifted from being directed to a poem, to being directed to a person... in fact, you said as much. But that is something I would NEVER do.
I would ask you to pause for a few minutes and to soul search concerning the questions I am about to ask... before you continue reading my comments. They may change your perspective of my comments on this site, and me by extension.
What would you do if you saw a poet who you knew had amazing potential... but was falling just short of "amazing" in the poems which they presented? How would you use your opportunity to review their poems? Would you pat them on the head with empty platitudes, or would you offer the criticisms which YOU felt could push them toward greatness?
No one ever achieved greatness based upon what they originally got right... they only achieved greatness when they overcame what they originally got wrong. They only knew what they needed to improve upon based upon the criticisms which they received from those who were bold enough to be honest.
"The Emperor's New Clothes" is a perfect example of this. If you are not familiar with this proverb, you can find it here:
https://andersen.sdu.dk/vaerk/hersholt/TheEmperorsNewClothes_e.html
Perhaps you might be familiar with:
Pro 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
I have chosen to be the friend that tells it like it is, as opposed to the one who merely pats people on the head.
Anyway....
If you remember... I did non criticize your poem initially.... I tried to go the route of offering merely the praise you were due for what I liked about it, while through the rating silently communicating I thought there was room for improvement.
Yet you condemned me for NOT critiquing your poem... then when I offered the critique you asked for, you condemned me for daring to critique it. Can you see that you put me in a position where there is no right answer?
It was only after you specifically requested my criticisms, that I gave you the detailed critique.. And, for the record, I would have done the exact same thing you did... I would have asked for a clear explanation as to what kept my work from achieving six stars. In fact, if you would take a few moments to go look at the comments on my own work, except for the most recent, you will see where I specifically asked each reviewer how they felt I failed to achieve perfection.
Also, please do not fail to remember that I said I liked your poem... it IS good... but it could be SOOOO much better.
You said, "you put on your profile that your a Bible student....how could you not know the answer to that question???"
Personally, I ABSOLUTELY know the answer to the questions I asked you... AND as one who has been diagnosed as "terminal," whom the doctors have given up on... one who has survived on prayer alone... I understood what you were saying in the poem... from personal experience.... You may find my poem "The Storm" interesting.
But if you will go back and re-read your latest comments... you ASSUME... EVERY... reader shares your understandings automatically. My questions were to highlight the fact that not everyone automatically understands what you have come to know reflexively. So I asked questions as if I had no idea about your God or how wonderful it is to rest in His arms and enjoy the undefinable peace which comes from His love alone.
Based upon your comments to me, it is clear you assumed the reader could relate to your own experience, and thereby connect the dots across the gaps which my questions pointed to. You assumed the reader understood from their own experience what you were describing... but what of the reader who does not know of the amazing healing power of our God?
To THAT person... how does the poem come across.................. in and of itself?
Let's get more basic.... What separates prose from poetry? Not just technically... but artistically? What makes a poem beautiful? How is that poem which is remarkable, different from that which is plain? How do the poems today, or the poem you are reading now, whomever it belongs to, compare to the classics?
When you look at a wedding dress, and garden, a house, a car... what separates the plain from the truly amazing? Is it not the embellishments? Is it not those components which rise above the norm, those details where the creator, the artist, went beyond the barest of essentials, adding deeply thought out decorative touches? Is it not where, when they could have chosen to lean minimalist... they chose rather to lean lavish with embellishments? What made Poe's The Raven, so powerful? Or Frost's The Road Not Taken, so universally praised?
I understand that the modern move is to write poetry using as few words as possible. The problem however, is the result resembles a skeleton, and nothing more. Beauty is not found in the skeleton... the minimalist approach... it is found in the fleshing out, the embellishments.
Let me ask you a few more rhetorical questions. Why did you write your poem? What were you intending to communicate? What was your hope for the person reading your words for the first time? Were you seeking to provide something that THE READER found full of grace and beauty? Or, were you merely throwing words on paper to say your wrote a poem?
If you were writing only for the personal pleasure of writing, and did care whether the reader liked it, or connected with you through it, then why did you post it for review? If rather, you wrote it with the reader in mind, why did you become offended when a reader expressed how they felt it could be improved upon... or how they felt it failed to communicate effectively?
I can tell by your words that you are capable of so much more than merely a skeletal structure... you are capable of a fully functional and articulated being. Rather than a flower in a pot... you are capable of a full country side abounding in meadows overflowing with blossoms of every hue.
OH... and concerning your comments insinuating that I am little more than a troll, or ogre with no goodness or ability to offer praise where it is due... I have given out two 6 star ratings, and at least two 5 stars in the last 48 hrs. I have no problem recognizing perfection...
...when I see it....
Peace.
Comment from Boogienights
This is very deserving of the awards it has received. Its lovely and says in very few words, what your faith in God means to you. Thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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This is very deserving of the awards it has received. Its lovely and says in very few words, what your faith in God means to you. Thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Hey You, so good to see you...thank you for a wonderful review...and all your kind words...and you are so very welcome...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment from Kermit R. Mullins
"Blinded by emotions," I find this to be very true. Our character will determine what emotions will drive us to actions and thoughts when certain times in our lives expose themselves. Best regards.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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"Blinded by emotions," I find this to be very true. Our character will determine what emotions will drive us to actions and thoughts when certain times in our lives expose themselves. Best regards.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Kermit, exactly...thank you for a wonderful review...I'm so glad you like it... love Linda xxoo
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Linda, Your poem made me think of this song by Rend Collective. I play guitar in the worship team at Grand Bay Baptist, and we do this song quite often right now... "More Than Conquerors"
https://youtu.be/2p8_4NbrcKA
We must always trust and never give up.
You've nailed a great message in this 5-7-5 poem.
Thanks for sharing!
Blessings
Kimbob
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Linda, Your poem made me think of this song by Rend Collective. I play guitar in the worship team at Grand Bay Baptist, and we do this song quite often right now... "More Than Conquerors"
https://youtu.be/2p8_4NbrcKA
We must always trust and never give up.
You've nailed a great message in this 5-7-5 poem.
Thanks for sharing!
Blessings
Kimbob
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi Kimbob, so good to see my sweet friend...I have been off and on the site for awhile...
at our church we have a worship team as well...I love them...
and I love the music they sing...or we all do...I miss going in the church so much...I watch it on the net....and love my pastor...but it's just not the same...I hope they open soon...all we can do is pray...thank you for a wonderful review...and you are sooooo welcome....Blessings to you as well...love Linda xxoo...
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I'm just trying to get back in here myself, Linda. It's so nice to see you writing again!
Hugs,
Kimbob
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it's nice to see you writing again as well...stay safe...and have a wonderful days...big hugs back at you...love xxoo
Comment from January L'Angelle
I think that without faith, we have nothing. Yes, we are easily blinded by our emotions. Those emotions will get us into trouble every time. It is that faith that keeps us safe. I like this poem. It is so powerful! Well done. -January L. :)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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I think that without faith, we have nothing. Yes, we are easily blinded by our emotions. Those emotions will get us into trouble every time. It is that faith that keeps us safe. I like this poem. It is so powerful! Well done. -January L. :)
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2020
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Hi January, thank you soooo much for a wonderful review....and you are so right...it is that faith that keeps us safe...thank you...and smiling back at you...love Linda xxoo
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
Simply stated this wonderful poem gives the perfect definition of faith. Relying on God to save us when we "seem lost" and knowing that He will be there is what true belief really is.
Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Simply stated this wonderful poem gives the perfect definition of faith. Relying on God to save us when we "seem lost" and knowing that He will be there is what true belief really is.
Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Hi Louise, so true sweet girl...thank you so much for a wonderful review...He will always be here to get us through...thank you...and you are so very welcome...love Linda...xxoo
