On the Hunt
A Duodecatain poem28 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This format has a very pleasant rythm and flows nicely. The crows you write of searching for food in Winter, prompts me to think, of course,
"That's why most birds go south." So, we should bear in mind the plight of those that stay behind. Very well composed words. I enjoyed reading and will Bookcase it for the duodecatain description. It's quite complicated to remember.
Ralf
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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This format has a very pleasant rythm and flows nicely. The crows you write of searching for food in Winter, prompts me to think, of course,
"That's why most birds go south." So, we should bear in mind the plight of those that stay behind. Very well composed words. I enjoyed reading and will Bookcase it for the duodecatain description. It's quite complicated to remember.
Ralf
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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What an honor. Thank you.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Damommy,
I might have to try this form. I really enjoyed reading it, flows very well as you tell the story of these hungry, desperate crows scanning the rural village for breakfast.
My favorite lines,
"They tend their herd,
set chores in play" ... I like how you describe the countryside from the crows' point of view. Farmers start their day early, and crows won't miss a thing. It's all about survival, and they are scavengers.
"Black, shiny eyes search desperately
for any berry, seed, or pea." ... Hunger, desperation. Sometimes life isn't easy.
"When all else fails,
fate tips the scales."... This is the perfect ending couplet. The crows are victorious, and they've staved off hunger. Family intact.
Thanks for teaching this form. You did a super job with it. I could feel the cold air over the countryside, and the desperation of the adult crows in their search for a morning meal. Loved the artwork as well.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Hi Damommy,
I might have to try this form. I really enjoyed reading it, flows very well as you tell the story of these hungry, desperate crows scanning the rural village for breakfast.
My favorite lines,
"They tend their herd,
set chores in play" ... I like how you describe the countryside from the crows' point of view. Farmers start their day early, and crows won't miss a thing. It's all about survival, and they are scavengers.
"Black, shiny eyes search desperately
for any berry, seed, or pea." ... Hunger, desperation. Sometimes life isn't easy.
"When all else fails,
fate tips the scales."... This is the perfect ending couplet. The crows are victorious, and they've staved off hunger. Family intact.
Thanks for teaching this form. You did a super job with it. I could feel the cold air over the countryside, and the desperation of the adult crows in their search for a morning meal. Loved the artwork as well.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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I am speechless. What a wonderful review. Thank you so much.
Comment from Pantygynt
Not only did I introduce you to some fine poetry in my classes but to some fine art as well. Here we have one of Breughel's winter scenes. Your poem is an excellent companion piece to Mr Breughel's snow scene.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Not only did I introduce you to some fine poetry in my classes but to some fine art as well. Here we have one of Breughel's winter scenes. Your poem is an excellent companion piece to Mr Breughel's snow scene.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thank you. Yes, you did it. You opened new horizons for me. Thank you.
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And seeing what you gave done since has been my reward.
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Thank you! What a nice thing to say.
Comment from Mastery
Very well written, Yvonne. Lots of powerful descriptive terms used throughout. You paint a fine image of the weather, like:
"Black, shiny eyes search desperately
for any berry, seed, or pea.
The freezing cold and bitter air
give nothing back but deep despair.
The ground's interred...."
Brilliant writing, my friend. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Very well written, Yvonne. Lots of powerful descriptive terms used throughout. You paint a fine image of the weather, like:
"Black, shiny eyes search desperately
for any berry, seed, or pea.
The freezing cold and bitter air
give nothing back but deep despair.
The ground's interred...."
Brilliant writing, my friend. : ) Bob
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thank you for reviewing, and for the lovely compliment.
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Very well deserved, Yvonne. : ) Bob
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Very well deserved, Yvonne. : ) Bob
Comment from mauial
I haven't seen this poem form before. I think it would be a bit difficult for me to write one of these. ð??? Any way I really loved how it was so rhythmic. Loved the imagery in this:
The freezing cold and bitter air
give nothing back but deep despair.
The ground's interred
and tucked away.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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I haven't seen this poem form before. I think it would be a bit difficult for me to write one of these. ð??? Any way I really loved how it was so rhythmic. Loved the imagery in this:
The freezing cold and bitter air
give nothing back but deep despair.
The ground's interred
and tucked away.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thank you. I appreciate these great comments.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Hi Yvonne. I will pass on trying this form. It is too complicated. Your message is a good one. LOL Feed our feathered friends in the winter when food is hard to find.
Great picture for the poem. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Hi Yvonne. I will pass on trying this form. It is too complicated. Your message is a good one. LOL Feed our feathered friends in the winter when food is hard to find.
Great picture for the poem. Nancy:)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thank you. I'm glad you got the message. hahahaha
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow and no i wont even think about trying. The notes were followed perfectly and the story of fate taking charge of the feeding, was written in so perfectly
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Wow and no i wont even think about trying. The notes were followed perfectly and the story of fate taking charge of the feeding, was written in so perfectly
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Wow! Thank you so much, Barb. I truly appreciate this lovely review. Awww, now, come on. You can write one.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Duodecatain about the crows looking for something to eat but only finds a blanket of snow and no movement from the humans in the village just before they give up they see a pod of seeds peeking from breath the snow and find a man a meal for the chicks.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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A very well-written Duodecatain about the crows looking for something to eat but only finds a blanket of snow and no movement from the humans in the village just before they give up they see a pod of seeds peeking from breath the snow and find a man a meal for the chicks.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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You got it! Thanks, Sandra.
Comment from Eternal Muse
I wish I had a six for it. This was a true beauty. Your words paint amazing pictures and invite a reader to these places you describe. Your visuals are so good I feel like I've been there. And I have to compliment you on your artistic presentation.
This is a top drawer work.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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I wish I had a six for it. This was a true beauty. Your words paint amazing pictures and invite a reader to these places you describe. Your visuals are so good I feel like I've been there. And I have to compliment you on your artistic presentation.
This is a top drawer work.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thank you for such a wonderful review and lovely comments.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem does an excellent job of describing this winter scene--people just living their day oblivious to the hungry, desperate birds--ending with the resourceful creatures finding sustenance.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Your poem does an excellent job of describing this winter scene--people just living their day oblivious to the hungry, desperate birds--ending with the resourceful creatures finding sustenance.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
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Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
