Uri's full bodied wine
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Uri's full bodied wine"A fiction murder mystery
6 total reviews
Comment from elchupakabra
This almost sort of kindof reminds me of Snowpiercer meets Sweeney Todd meets Sideways lol but it's definitely your own thing and I for one loved it. If I had a six star left I'd give it to you for the story as a whole. Great work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
  |
This almost sort of kindof reminds me of Snowpiercer meets Sweeney Todd meets Sideways lol but it's definitely your own thing and I for one loved it. If I had a six star left I'd give it to you for the story as a whole. Great work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
-
I like the Sideways, Sweenie Todd analogy. Will have to ponder Snow piercer, one of my favs. Thanks for the review, and much appreciated for the stars.
Comment from Xochellexo
I love this story. You have a wonderful strong beginning. I couldn't stop reading from star to end. The ending was wonderful. I love when the whole story comes together and I can actually picture the ending.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
|
I love this story. You have a wonderful strong beginning. I couldn't stop reading from star to end. The ending was wonderful. I love when the whole story comes together and I can actually picture the ending.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
-
Wow, thank you, much appreciated. I couldn't ask for a better review than that.
-
Hi, I've been having problems with showing chapter 1, If you missed it, Its on my site, very top, small lettering, chapters 1 and 2.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, wine with the taste of... body parts. I hope idea will not come reality for some of our winemakers. This chapter is quite concentrate, but I like it. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
|
Wow, wine with the taste of... body parts. I hope idea will not come reality for some of our winemakers. This chapter is quite concentrate, but I like it. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
-
Many thanks. When researching this story I was told by winemakers the greeks used to put animal bones in their wine for the calcium. Hope thats all they put in. :>)
-
Wow, I didn't know that 😇
-
Hi, I've been having problems with showing chapter 1, If you missed it, Its on my site, very top, small lettering, chapters 1 and 2.
-
I think I read chapter 2 already I will check chapter 1
Comment from Mia Twysted
Isn't that something. The trouble one little dog can cause when they find something that they shouldn't. I love how the wine is described at the end, "having a bold, meaty taste."
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
|
Isn't that something. The trouble one little dog can cause when they find something that they shouldn't. I love how the wine is described at the end, "having a bold, meaty taste."
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
-
Yes, that little pooch spoiled everything. Glad you liked it, thanks for the positive review. Much appreciated.
-
Hi, I've been having problems with showing chapter 1, If you missed it, Its on my site, very top, small lettering, chapters 1 and 2.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This was a most thrilling two chapter post. It was intriguing from beginning to end. You did a magnificent job writing this.
Noticed one typo:
They knew Tuesdays were always a slow time for business, so fewer distractions as the (they) probed.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
|
This was a most thrilling two chapter post. It was intriguing from beginning to end. You did a magnificent job writing this.
Noticed one typo:
They knew Tuesdays were always a slow time for business, so fewer distractions as the (they) probed.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
-
Many thanks Rebecca. I'm searching out that typo.
-
Tuesday night was a good time for Inspector Officers Mallory and Dean to visit the little town of Oliver. They knew Tuesdays were always a slow time for business, so fewer distractions as the probed. Dex was working one side of the street, Fred the other. They could case the town faster that way.
-
Did you find it? I copied the entire paragraph.
-
Hi Rebecca, I was away a bit, but finally fixed that typo.
I see we are tied in the contest, at second. Thats an honor for me. Your story is an excellent read.
-
What contest? ha ha
-
I had completely forgotten this contest. Your entry should win. I'll be very happy if you do.
-
And I you.
Comment from Lucy de Welles
Hi Brad,
Everything is smooth the straight forward here. Story moves consecutively forward, good pace, characters interact well, consistent emotional development, characters operate well within their venues, the creepy is just right creepy, begins and ends to wrap a solid whole.
Only one suggestion:
"That night Kat sat at the table very excited, she described her call to Uri from the magazine."
It's not saying what you are wanting it to say :) Kat is describing her call from the magazine to Uri in an excited manner. Not a call TO Uri...at least I think that is what you are meaning here...
Love the "Kat joke." never heard it before...
Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
|
Hi Brad,
Everything is smooth the straight forward here. Story moves consecutively forward, good pace, characters interact well, consistent emotional development, characters operate well within their venues, the creepy is just right creepy, begins and ends to wrap a solid whole.
Only one suggestion:
"That night Kat sat at the table very excited, she described her call to Uri from the magazine."
It's not saying what you are wanting it to say :) Kat is describing her call from the magazine to Uri in an excited manner. Not a call TO Uri...at least I think that is what you are meaning here...
Love the "Kat joke." never heard it before...
Well done!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
-
Thanks for your great review. I went back and cleaned up that area as you noted, to make it clearer. Kat had good news from the magazine for Uri. Then next day, even better news from her distributer, saying her wine, sold out. But it was the wrong wine... Lot 3!!! That's when she found out it was Honrich.
-
Hi, I've been having problems with showing chapter 1, If you missed it, Its on my site, very top, small lettering, chapters 1 and 2.
