The Past Comes Back
Fresh start - secrets revealed. (927 words)15 total reviews
Comment from Rikki66
Well done handling a delicate situation, I was expecting fathers mistress not the aunt. They had the same secret but from different view points.
RikkiLXXlll
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020
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Well done handling a delicate situation, I was expecting fathers mistress not the aunt. They had the same secret but from different view points.
RikkiLXXlll
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020
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Thanks very much for reviewing my story and for your comments for how i handled a delicate situation. I am adopted myself, but i always knew it; it didn't get revealed as a bombshell like in this story.
(Regarding what you initially thought: I doubt that father's wife would have liked to adopt the child of his liaison with a mistress. The father in the story did not have a mistress, he was caught in an awkward situation not telling his daughter earlier that she was adopted.)
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Fathers' seem to attract awkward situations.
Rikki
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Make that males in general, I think. haha.
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True.
Rikki
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Wow dear author, you pull every heart string possible with this post. What could I suggest to improve it? What part could I say I liked best? Do I just say I didn't find any typos in the script? or just that it was a good read?
I just hope you have found satisfaction with just the effort it took to share it !
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Wow dear author, you pull every heart string possible with this post. What could I suggest to improve it? What part could I say I liked best? Do I just say I didn't find any typos in the script? or just that it was a good read?
I just hope you have found satisfaction with just the effort it took to share it !
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
Comment from roof35
While the core of this story is not unique, you gave it a pretty good spin as required by the contest and I loved it. Your illustration pairs perfectly. This is very well done.
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While the core of this story is not unique, you gave it a pretty good spin as required by the contest and I loved it. Your illustration pairs perfectly. This is very well done.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
Comment from humpwhistle
An interesting topic, and a well-related story. I'm a little dubious though, about the coincidence--the mother shows on on the same day the daughter finds the adoption papers. I might have let Kimberley stew about the information for a longer period before having the 'aunt' show up. Might be a bit more realistic that way.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020
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An interesting topic, and a well-related story. I'm a little dubious though, about the coincidence--the mother shows on on the same day the daughter finds the adoption papers. I might have let Kimberley stew about the information for a longer period before having the 'aunt' show up. Might be a bit more realistic that way.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your comments. I've now modified the story a little, bringing in the father as an explanatory factor for why the 'aunt' has turned up.
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
What a moving story! Finding out that you are adopted is one thing, and causes quite a shock when you had not a clue before. But telling this to a total stranger and then realizing this stranger is your birth-mother... wow! That is heavy.
Written with passion and conviction, a good pace and believable dialogs, made this piece a pleasant read. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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What a moving story! Finding out that you are adopted is one thing, and causes quite a shock when you had not a clue before. But telling this to a total stranger and then realizing this stranger is your birth-mother... wow! That is heavy.
Written with passion and conviction, a good pace and believable dialogs, made this piece a pleasant read. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
