The Past Comes Back
Fresh start - secrets revealed. (927 words)15 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This is definitely the winner. I enjoyed this revelation. At some point we all knew that Christine was likely her mother, but your deft storytelling made it all worth waiting to see.
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This is definitely the winner. I enjoyed this revelation. At some point we all knew that Christine was likely her mother, but your deft storytelling made it all worth waiting to see.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2020
Comment from Lucy de Welles
Really wonderful. A dream come true for both women. Law of attraction at it's finest. A reminder that good things really do happen in this world. That life can and does go on, even in tragic circumstances, new and sometimes better things are here in the NOW. Lovely reminder to be appreciative and keep the faith.
Well done!
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Really wonderful. A dream come true for both women. Law of attraction at it's finest. A reminder that good things really do happen in this world. That life can and does go on, even in tragic circumstances, new and sometimes better things are here in the NOW. Lovely reminder to be appreciative and keep the faith.
Well done!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2020
Comment from BethShelby
This is a beautiful story with a happy ending. I enjoyed reading it. It is more than I expected form the contest. I can' imagine something like that would cause problems and mixed feeling. Someone is always the loser. Good luck in the contest.
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This is a beautiful story with a happy ending. I enjoyed reading it. It is more than I expected form the contest. I can' imagine something like that would cause problems and mixed feeling. Someone is always the loser. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
Comment from zanya
Yes this is a story with a theme for our times, as alternative ways to found a family are becoming more common - who knows what society's new mores may bring ?
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Yes this is a story with a theme for our times, as alternative ways to found a family are becoming more common - who knows what society's new mores may bring ?
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a poignant story. There are no sappy predictions or cliche' situations. You kept the reader listening to understand what was going on. We were sitting right there. I just have to mention a memory that was spurred on by the mention of the orange drink. When we went to get my father for our mother, my brother didn't come out so I had to go in next. My father had the bartender give some orange drink and a bag of State Line Potato chips. I found out why my brother had not come back out. On the way out I guiltily brushed the orange drink and potato chips off my face. I've been unable to find that same orange drink since.
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This is a poignant story. There are no sappy predictions or cliche' situations. You kept the reader listening to understand what was going on. We were sitting right there. I just have to mention a memory that was spurred on by the mention of the orange drink. When we went to get my father for our mother, my brother didn't come out so I had to go in next. My father had the bartender give some orange drink and a bag of State Line Potato chips. I found out why my brother had not come back out. On the way out I guiltily brushed the orange drink and potato chips off my face. I've been unable to find that same orange drink since.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the
Two women sit at a deserted bar writing prompt contest. It's a good story. I felt engaged and the characters were well developed. Kimberley and Christine hit it off well. It's an interesting twist. Mother and daughter...how wonderful. Good luck in the contest.
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Hello, anonymous,
Great entry for the
Two women sit at a deserted bar writing prompt contest. It's a good story. I felt engaged and the characters were well developed. Kimberley and Christine hit it off well. It's an interesting twist. Mother and daughter...how wonderful. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Oh my! This is such an awesome, warm and fuzzy, feel good story. What are the odds of such an encounter taking place. It was fate, destined to happen that day, and a divine appointment. This is good work and I enjoyed reading this inspirational and well written work. Well done!
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Oh my! This is such an awesome, warm and fuzzy, feel good story. What are the odds of such an encounter taking place. It was fate, destined to happen that day, and a divine appointment. This is good work and I enjoyed reading this inspirational and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
I wish I had six stars. This is a lovely entry for the Two women sit at a deserted bar writing prompt. It is well written and gripping from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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I wish I had six stars. This is a lovely entry for the Two women sit at a deserted bar writing prompt. It is well written and gripping from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your nice comments.
Comment from lyenochka
A moving piece with two women who were ready to share a revelation which deeply connected them. Nicely told and with natural dialogue and action tags to inform the reader of how each character feels by their movements. Best wishes in the contest!
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A moving piece with two women who were ready to share a revelation which deeply connected them. Nicely told and with natural dialogue and action tags to inform the reader of how each character feels by their movements. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your story flows well with great detail, dialogue, and descriptive wording. I like the pace of it. The discovery towards the end is reasonable and well-placed and developed. I like the positive ending.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
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You did a great job with your contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your story flows well with great detail, dialogue, and descriptive wording. I like the pace of it. The discovery towards the end is reasonable and well-placed and developed. I like the positive ending.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
