I'll Remember the Laughter
Remembering childhood activities14 total reviews
Comment from Becky Kern-Taylor
How beautiful a poem and I was right there with you. It was joyful and tearful, but so upliftingly sad. I don't know if that makes sense, but it was just life that we all know has its ups and downs. Beautiful but not depressing, I think because it was just LIFE. I would have given you 6 stars but the last verse I didn't like the memory and cemetery rhyme. How about "Helps our memories fulfill our needs".
last line "In the cemetery pulling out weeds".
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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How beautiful a poem and I was right there with you. It was joyful and tearful, but so upliftingly sad. I don't know if that makes sense, but it was just life that we all know has its ups and downs. Beautiful but not depressing, I think because it was just LIFE. I would have given you 6 stars but the last verse I didn't like the memory and cemetery rhyme. How about "Helps our memories fulfill our needs".
last line "In the cemetery pulling out weeds".
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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Thank you for suggesting I attend to the last stanza. I had felt uneasy about the 'cemetery' and with your comments i knew i could make it better. I've amended it to read:
It all comes to pass
that our rose-tinted glass
helps to safeguard our memory?s needs.
I?ll remember the laughter forever after,
in the graveyard as I pull out weeds.
Comment from zanya
Ah-h-h this poem citing many happy, carefree days of childhood spent in the midst of a loving family and friends is also sundered as time passes and the final line really tugs at the heartstings
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Ah-h-h this poem citing many happy, carefree days of childhood spent in the midst of a loving family and friends is also sundered as time passes and the final line really tugs at the heartstings
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
Comment from Melissa Russell Deur
You've captured a childhood that reminded me of mine. But I'm guessing you grew up outside the U.S. because my mother never called me home for TEA! I ran the neighborhood barefooted too. We still have a cowbell at our house, but now our children our parents. Two lines grabbed my attention: "Now there's just me" and "Oh, if only those days were re-run". So I was prepared for the final line, but it made me sad nonetheless. This is a sweet, evocative poem that should do well in the contest. The artwork you paired with your poem illustrates a major highlight in your childhood. Great choice!
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You've captured a childhood that reminded me of mine. But I'm guessing you grew up outside the U.S. because my mother never called me home for TEA! I ran the neighborhood barefooted too. We still have a cowbell at our house, but now our children our parents. Two lines grabbed my attention: "Now there's just me" and "Oh, if only those days were re-run". So I was prepared for the final line, but it made me sad nonetheless. This is a sweet, evocative poem that should do well in the contest. The artwork you paired with your poem illustrates a major highlight in your childhood. Great choice!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
Comment from royowen
What a marvellous poem my friend, you've done a great job of crafting this work, could to see the name mum, it shows we are near. Written in quintrains with mixed meter, and mixed rhyme, well done articulate and fascinatingly similar to my childhood, good luck, blessings, Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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What a marvellous poem my friend, you've done a great job of crafting this work, could to see the name mum, it shows we are near. Written in quintrains with mixed meter, and mixed rhyme, well done articulate and fascinatingly similar to my childhood, good luck, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
