Swim-Bird!
surprise me14 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
"Swim-Bird!" is a story full of surprise. The goal, of course! It was well dramatized and comes to a nice, but shocking ending. I was most taken by the photo, very enjoyable, but hard to believe.
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"Swim-Bird!" is a story full of surprise. The goal, of course! It was well dramatized and comes to a nice, but shocking ending. I was most taken by the photo, very enjoyable, but hard to believe.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
Comment from Bill Schott
This flash fiction story, Swim-Bird, is a joyful tale of the frolicking animals around that enjoy the water when it is the only fun around. Delightful.
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This flash fiction story, Swim-Bird, is a joyful tale of the frolicking animals around that enjoy the water when it is the only fun around. Delightful.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2020
Comment from tfawcus
There'd be many people sharing your frustration at being housebound during this enforced isolation. You've put a delightful spin on it with this amusing anecdote. I like your relaxed, chatty writing style.
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There'd be many people sharing your frustration at being housebound during this enforced isolation. You've put a delightful spin on it with this amusing anecdote. I like your relaxed, chatty writing style.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2020
Comment from Gert sherwood
Thank you Iza Deleanu
for sharing your Surprise Me writing prompt, I found it a pleasure to read about kittens and smiles, to the photo of I take it is one of your kittens, enjoying a ride on a goose's back.
Gert
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Thank you Iza Deleanu
for sharing your Surprise Me writing prompt, I found it a pleasure to read about kittens and smiles, to the photo of I take it is one of your kittens, enjoying a ride on a goose's back.
Gert
Comment Written 11-Jul-2020
Comment from Teri7
I love this story you have penned for the Surprise Me writing prompt. You used such good words and an adorable picture of the cat sitting on top of the bird. A very enjoyable read. Is that your cat? Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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I love this story you have penned for the Surprise Me writing prompt. You used such good words and an adorable picture of the cat sitting on top of the bird. A very enjoyable read. Is that your cat? Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 11-Jul-2020
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
Great entry for the Surprise Me writing prompt contest. Good word count. The picture is nice and goes well with the story. Good character development. It flows well and it's easy to read. Surprising ending.
I'm trying to imagine kittens on birds and it's a crazy thought but it works in this story. Well done.
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Hello my friend
Great entry for the Surprise Me writing prompt contest. Good word count. The picture is nice and goes well with the story. Good character development. It flows well and it's easy to read. Surprising ending.
I'm trying to imagine kittens on birds and it's a crazy thought but it works in this story. Well done.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This story caught me off guard and I was surprised with the ending. This is a good entry for the Surprise Me writing prompt. Best of luck in the contest!
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This story caught me off guard and I was surprised with the ending. This is a good entry for the Surprise Me writing prompt. Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Jul-2020
Comment from Janetsue
Your picture is irresistible and I just had to find out about your story and the kitties. I have always loved cats. I enjoyed reading this Surprise Me entry. Just wondering: Should this be tub and not tab? -- and run into my tab full of water
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Your picture is irresistible and I just had to find out about your story and the kitties. I have always loved cats. I enjoyed reading this Surprise Me entry. Just wondering: Should this be tub and not tab? -- and run into my tab full of water
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your fun little story. You did a good job with the contest prompt. The picture is adorable and perfect for your story. I could see this as I read it. Yes, kitties love chasing birds and sneaking outside.
May I suggest:
Its sunny outside and life calls you [ me ] back to nature. My kitties are trying to escape through the open door and chase those proud birds that are moving their tails directly under their nose [ noses ].
Usually [ , ] this is my preferred time of the year, because I am traveling back to my home country to enjoy my beautiful Black Sea.
This year all my trips are Hasta [" hasta la vista,Baby! ]" ] la vista, baby! . Yup, kitties [ show a united front OR [ Yup, kitties unite! ] united front!
Suddenly [ , ] I catch a bird and meow: "Bird! Bird!" In [ At the . . .] the same time my kitties are temporarily abandoning their watching [ watch ] spot and run into my tab [ tub ] full of water. They scream: "Swim! Swim! Swim!"
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
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I enjoyed your fun little story. You did a good job with the contest prompt. The picture is adorable and perfect for your story. I could see this as I read it. Yes, kitties love chasing birds and sneaking outside.
May I suggest:
Its sunny outside and life calls you [ me ] back to nature. My kitties are trying to escape through the open door and chase those proud birds that are moving their tails directly under their nose [ noses ].
Usually [ , ] this is my preferred time of the year, because I am traveling back to my home country to enjoy my beautiful Black Sea.
This year all my trips are Hasta [" hasta la vista,Baby! ]" ] la vista, baby! . Yup, kitties [ show a united front OR [ Yup, kitties unite! ] united front!
Suddenly [ , ] I catch a bird and meow: "Bird! Bird!" In [ At the . . .] the same time my kitties are temporarily abandoning their watching [ watch ] spot and run into my tab [ tub ] full of water. They scream: "Swim! Swim! Swim!"
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Fantastic! I like this flash fiction, the theme as humour set in taletelling is nice; there is a good stand of surprise at the end, but I expected showing may have been more than telling the tale; I have found just a few inexpressive expressions (unclear expressions with or without grammatical errors): 1. Its sunny outside and life calls you back to nature. 2. It's summer, we have not had too many sunny days. 3. Suddenly I catch a bird and meow: "Bird! Bird!" 4. but mine are Bengalis, 5. I guess the moral of this story is: be careful what you wish for... "Swim! Swim! Bird! Bird!" I have enjoyed the read; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this; wish you good luck in the contest. ALCREATOR
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Fantastic! I like this flash fiction, the theme as humour set in taletelling is nice; there is a good stand of surprise at the end, but I expected showing may have been more than telling the tale; I have found just a few inexpressive expressions (unclear expressions with or without grammatical errors): 1. Its sunny outside and life calls you back to nature. 2. It's summer, we have not had too many sunny days. 3. Suddenly I catch a bird and meow: "Bird! Bird!" 4. but mine are Bengalis, 5. I guess the moral of this story is: be careful what you wish for... "Swim! Swim! Bird! Bird!" I have enjoyed the read; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this; wish you good luck in the contest. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
