Reviews from

Dr. Manhattan

Tyburn Poetry contest entry

2 total reviews 
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Mystery Writer,
Cool premise and artwork; however "prover" does not rhyme with your other chosen words. Additionally, "The last two lines(must) rhyme and incorporate the first, second, third, and fourth lines as the 5th through 8th syllables."

Still time to edit!
Please let me know so that I may edit my rating.

Take Care!
diane

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2020

reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem! I have fixed the error. The Tybur poem is supposed to be 2,2,2,2,9,9. The fifth line is correct. Check it again, please.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
    The poem is Tyburn. I corrected here. My mistake.
reply by Mrs. KT on 07-Jul-2020
    Hello Again!
    Yes, your four words now rhyme, but please look at the rhyming couplet. It does not conform to the format requirements of a Tyburn.
    Please know I only wish to help...

    Thank you!
    diane
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
    Okay, yes you can help me. I will try to fix it. Now I know what you mean about a tyburn poem. Any suggestions? I want help.
reply by Mrs. KT on 07-Jul-2020
    Hello!
    Not certain how much help I can be, but I can show you how the final couplet needs to be arranged:
    X = a syllable:
    Line 5:
    XXXX bluer, truer X = 9 syllables
    Line 6:
    XXXX doer, fuer(fewer?) X = 9 syllables

    Pretty tricky, I'll admit!

    Best Wishes!
    diane
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
    Okay. Thank you, my friend! I corrected the mistakes. You can check it again. I hope this works.
reply by Mrs. KT on 07-Jul-2020
    Much better!
    I have no idea what it means, but your poem now has the correct format! :)

    Best Wishes!
    diane

reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
    Thanks! :)
reply by Mrs. KT on 07-Jul-2020
    My pleasure.

    diane
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very interesting Tyburn poem, the theme is good and fascinating.
I think there is a bit less precision in the word "leader", the not-rhyming last two lines, and the nine-syllables instead of the required eight.

Still, worth five stars, I think.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2020

reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem! I changed the word. :)
reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 07-Jul-2020
    Welcome!