The Pharaoh Queen
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Reunion and a Broken Hearts."Hatshepsut - Egypt's Greatest Woman Pharaoh
4 total reviews
Comment from Barnaby Wilde
You seem to have researched your subject matter well. Very good narrative and flow. I'm looking forward to reading more so I'll keep checking back to see how it's going. Great job!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
You seem to have researched your subject matter well. Very good narrative and flow. I'm looking forward to reading more so I'll keep checking back to see how it's going. Great job!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
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HI Barnaby; Thank you for reviewing my chapter.
Now don't think this matters to me, but I am curious.
You seem pleased with the work, you remark it is 'Very good narrative' and agree I've done good research.
You even use the words 'Great Job'
So, how does it not fit the criteria of at least meriting five stars?
Just wondering how I can improve.
Regards Pete.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like this tragedy chapter and have enjoyed the theme, the generalized narrative taletelling, skimmed plot development, resolved and curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
I like this tragedy chapter and have enjoyed the theme, the generalized narrative taletelling, skimmed plot development, resolved and curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
Comment from lancellot
A very good Chapter, very emotional. And you left us with a cliff hanger and bit of worry for what the Queen will do or say to her sister.
notes:
her constantly aching body."
-add space-
Neferure began to weep again;
final service to her," he sobbed. "I failed to bring her home alive to you--I'm sorry, I failed you all."
- add space-
Neferure was wailing now, hardly able to speak because of her distress, "
A very good Chapter, very emotional. And you left us with a cliff hanger and bit of worry for what the Queen will do or say to her sister.
notes:
her constantly aching body."
-add space-
Neferure began to weep again;
final service to her," he sobbed. "I failed to bring her home alive to you--I'm sorry, I failed you all."
- add space-
Neferure was wailing now, hardly able to speak because of her distress, "
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Your story is a hit for me once again! EXCELLENT job! Everything is on point and this story continues to be well written and well thought out;-) It's intensely creative as well!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
Your story is a hit for me once again! EXCELLENT job! Everything is on point and this story continues to be well written and well thought out;-) It's intensely creative as well!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020