My Adopted Home
oh, how many barriers were overcome36 total reviews
Comment from Raul1
I like how you structured this poem. The lines have rhyming patterns. The sentences flow and has clarity. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Nice work! I like it. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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I like how you structured this poem. The lines have rhyming patterns. The sentences flow and has clarity. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Nice work! I like it. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Raul thanks
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You're welcome.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
To follow such a tight form and get a message across is not easy. I do think it affects the quality of the flow - I think you could express this a bit more beautifully if you didn't have these parameters. I think the first stanza is very smooth and I like the eternal rhyme, but it falls apart a bit here "as if they were skittles
wins acquired
will aide in living happier"
and the last stanza is a bit off as well. Again, that is me, a total free-verse junky so keep that totally in mind! I like the message.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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To follow such a tight form and get a message across is not easy. I do think it affects the quality of the flow - I think you could express this a bit more beautifully if you didn't have these parameters. I think the first stanza is very smooth and I like the eternal rhyme, but it falls apart a bit here "as if they were skittles
wins acquired
will aide in living happier"
and the last stanza is a bit off as well. Again, that is me, a total free-verse junky so keep that totally in mind! I like the message.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Maragret, yep this style is clunky I too am a free verser by nature.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
A wonderful 4th of July tribute. You showed a thankfulness to the United States and how important freedom is.
The artwork is nice and complements your poem wonderfully.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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A wonderful 4th of July tribute. You showed a thankfulness to the United States and how important freedom is.
The artwork is nice and complements your poem wonderfully.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Rhonda, thank you!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written tri-fall poem about the country you adopted with your whole heart and us proud to be part of this country with everything it offers its citizens
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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A very well-written tri-fall poem about the country you adopted with your whole heart and us proud to be part of this country with everything it offers its citizens
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Sandra, thank you!
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Jim. It was a pleasure to read your commentary in Tri-Fall form about the love for your new home. Often those who choose to live in a country value it more than those born in it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this nice poem. Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Hi Jim. It was a pleasure to read your commentary in Tri-Fall form about the love for your new home. Often those who choose to live in a country value it more than those born in it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this nice poem. Marilyn
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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I am very grateful for many things including your kind review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
oh, how many barriers were overcome
My Adopted Home
by JLR
Hello my friend
America is my adopted home as well. Beautiful entry for the Potlatch Poetry Club Challenge: Tri-Fall poem. Good form. Thank you very much for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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oh, how many barriers were overcome
My Adopted Home
by JLR
Hello my friend
America is my adopted home as well. Beautiful entry for the Potlatch Poetry Club Challenge: Tri-Fall poem. Good form. Thank you very much for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Gypsy, thank you for being such a solid reviewer, have a great week.!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image, Jim,
and a good poem to go with it.
-I'm glad you included the notes
because I would have thought
Skittles was the candy!
-I didn't know you came here
from another country.
-You wrote a good poem about it,
using the form well, too.
-I like this line about all you need to do:
"just knock over life's barriers."
-Just a little thing!
-A good concluding verse, too.
-Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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-Very nice image, Jim,
and a good poem to go with it.
-I'm glad you included the notes
because I would have thought
Skittles was the candy!
-I didn't know you came here
from another country.
-You wrote a good poem about it,
using the form well, too.
-I like this line about all you need to do:
"just knock over life's barriers."
-Just a little thing!
-A good concluding verse, too.
-Well done.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Pam, thanks much..smiling back!
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You are very welcome, Jim, and I am glad you are smiling😊
Comment from amada
Very loving reflections in this poem about your adopted country. Your lines show gratitude and thankfulness. It's like a mantle of light, looking just sat the positive side of things is like a blessing. A lesson for all of us as well.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Very loving reflections in this poem about your adopted country. Your lines show gratitude and thankfulness. It's like a mantle of light, looking just sat the positive side of things is like a blessing. A lesson for all of us as well.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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amada, thank you! May your week be filled with laughter!
Comment from GWHARGIS
Welcome to the land of the free. Lol. I liked your poem. The line about smiling at the different neighbors was very vivid. I got a different picture in my head with each one. Great job. Have a wonderful week. Gretchen
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Welcome to the land of the free. Lol. I liked your poem. The line about smiling at the different neighbors was very vivid. I got a different picture in my head with each one. Great job. Have a wonderful week. Gretchen
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Gretchen, I thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Gloria ....
Nicely done, J. Skittles sounds like an interesting game, even though I first though of the candy treat. lol
Written to form throughout and a fine message too.
Excellent tribute to your country and many thanks for sharing today. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Nicely done, J. Skittles sounds like an interesting game, even though I first though of the candy treat. lol
Written to form throughout and a fine message too.
Excellent tribute to your country and many thanks for sharing today. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much.
