Eclipse of Humanity
Has it come to this? Have we allowed it to?55 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You've certainly captured the way things are in today's world, Yvette. The world has gone mad. I like the way you have written this, you have the bleakness, and then suggest a smile, a touch, all things that make you feel good inside. Simple, free things that never hurt anyone. Really enjoyed your poem, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
  |
You've certainly captured the way things are in today's world, Yvette. The world has gone mad. I like the way you have written this, you have the bleakness, and then suggest a smile, a touch, all things that make you feel good inside. Simple, free things that never hurt anyone. Really enjoyed your poem, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thank you, Sandra, for stopping in on this one, my lady - always good to see your smiling face and read your British accent - lol! Here's wishing you a Magnificent Monday out there... I'll be back on schedule in another week or so....? LOL! ;) Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
Comment from Janet Foor
We certainly are going through difficult times and the world seems bleak at times.
Excellent 20 line poem full of wonderful poetic devices. Lovely alliteration, excellent rhyme and meter.
Well done and good to read your work again.
Blessings and stay well.
Janet
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
 |
We certainly are going through difficult times and the world seems bleak at times.
Excellent 20 line poem full of wonderful poetic devices. Lovely alliteration, excellent rhyme and meter.
Well done and good to read your work again.
Blessings and stay well.
Janet
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thank you so very much, Janet, for such a beautiful starry smile here -- please know they and your comments mean the world to me! Here's wishing you a Magnificent Monday out there... I'll be back on schedule in another week or so....? LOL! ;) Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
Comment from Mastery
Excellent writing, Y.M. Gee, haven't seen you or your writing around for a long time. I hope all has been well with you. I do like this poem, especially this line:
"Grand plans and schemes and lifelong dreams
lie crumbling 'neath woe's paragon..."
Good to see you back, my friend. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
Excellent writing, Y.M. Gee, haven't seen you or your writing around for a long time. I hope all has been well with you. I do like this poem, especially this line:
"Grand plans and schemes and lifelong dreams
lie crumbling 'neath woe's paragon..."
Good to see you back, my friend. : ) Bob
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thanx for the review, Bob -- always so good to hear from you over here! ;) Yvette
-
So good to see you here again, Yvette. : ) Bob
Comment from Lobber
My Friend,
Truly beautiful. Alas, I missed the deadline. With an embarrassing line of - She says that she's in heaven, since his shoe size is eleven - the world's a better place without my frivolous entry. Yours is Epic! Colossal! I hope you win.
I missed the deadline since I was busy with a Zoom birthday party for FS Member pantygynt, - (FS Instructor, too) celebrating his 79th.
I took James Bartlett's course on Rhyme in May. A Free Verse assignment resulted in my poem )Deconstruct #1( which I recently posted and dedicated to him). I hope you'll take a gander at it.
It's written for three voices and it was launched yesterday in a live Zoom performance, along with a video of my garden.
The work is formula driven and Jim assures me it's totally original and unlike anything he's ever read. He even called the rhyming Shakespearean ... duh... not sure what that means.
Voice #1 is the complete rhyming couplet poem that I posted as )Senimental Sojourn( on April 22, 2020.
https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=976966
Voices #2 and #3 are two separately written Free Verse poems intertwined with #1, using a zillion internal rhymes and other standard poetic devices. In math terms - it's like geometry meets trig and calc - a madhouse of a romp.
I'm quite excited about the potential. I would love your "honest" opinion in a review - I've upped the funny-money value, too. Some of the reviews are worth reading, especially compared to what you think.
We just survived a lacklustre Canada Day. On the 4th, I'll celebrating by going to the clinic. I've been going every other day for almost 2 years. now! Hard to believe.
The length of this memo is payback for leaving us for so long. Oh, by the way. )Deconstruct #2( is in draft. Here's a tease:
1 Mary had a little lamb,
3 I'd be mad not to give a damn. Barely up . . . five AM and Snowflake's friggin nose right up to my fence . . . going "Baa! Baa! . . . worse then a balmy lad with a nickle whistle stuck in B-flat. Live or dead, it's a sound to dread.
2 No peace and quiet. Everyone knows. And a smell like that - quite ripe and wrenching!
~ ~ ~
1 It's fleece was white as snow
2 Smelly, you know. It's not right. Filthy and greasy little bugger. Snowflake - always mucking about in the mud. Right well ripe, I say.
3 Fleece? Barely. It's just dirty hair, I say. No way, is it snowy. It's grey! Show me any turd that's more filthy and foul. And the smell's beyond compare. I say, Beware!
lol
- Jer, so Beware!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
My Friend,
Truly beautiful. Alas, I missed the deadline. With an embarrassing line of - She says that she's in heaven, since his shoe size is eleven - the world's a better place without my frivolous entry. Yours is Epic! Colossal! I hope you win.
I missed the deadline since I was busy with a Zoom birthday party for FS Member pantygynt, - (FS Instructor, too) celebrating his 79th.
I took James Bartlett's course on Rhyme in May. A Free Verse assignment resulted in my poem )Deconstruct #1( which I recently posted and dedicated to him). I hope you'll take a gander at it.
It's written for three voices and it was launched yesterday in a live Zoom performance, along with a video of my garden.
The work is formula driven and Jim assures me it's totally original and unlike anything he's ever read. He even called the rhyming Shakespearean ... duh... not sure what that means.
Voice #1 is the complete rhyming couplet poem that I posted as )Senimental Sojourn( on April 22, 2020.
https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=976966
Voices #2 and #3 are two separately written Free Verse poems intertwined with #1, using a zillion internal rhymes and other standard poetic devices. In math terms - it's like geometry meets trig and calc - a madhouse of a romp.
I'm quite excited about the potential. I would love your "honest" opinion in a review - I've upped the funny-money value, too. Some of the reviews are worth reading, especially compared to what you think.
We just survived a lacklustre Canada Day. On the 4th, I'll celebrating by going to the clinic. I've been going every other day for almost 2 years. now! Hard to believe.
The length of this memo is payback for leaving us for so long. Oh, by the way. )Deconstruct #2( is in draft. Here's a tease:
1 Mary had a little lamb,
3 I'd be mad not to give a damn. Barely up . . . five AM and Snowflake's friggin nose right up to my fence . . . going "Baa! Baa! . . . worse then a balmy lad with a nickle whistle stuck in B-flat. Live or dead, it's a sound to dread.
2 No peace and quiet. Everyone knows. And a smell like that - quite ripe and wrenching!
~ ~ ~
1 It's fleece was white as snow
2 Smelly, you know. It's not right. Filthy and greasy little bugger. Snowflake - always mucking about in the mud. Right well ripe, I say.
3 Fleece? Barely. It's just dirty hair, I say. No way, is it snowy. It's grey! Show me any turd that's more filthy and foul. And the smell's beyond compare. I say, Beware!
lol
- Jer, so Beware!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Well, I was trying to get through these before i started cleaning again (see P.S.) with just a quick 'paste' response, but there was no way I was doing that here!! ;) It is so good to hear from you! ;)
And I did review that cool offering... don't you remember my saying you should be on the winner's marquee because of it?? Really was awesome. :)
I don't seem to have the time to take the classes (and not sure I would stick with it given my schedule, especially lately)... kindof just go with what works at the time - lol! ;) You are a much more dedicated poet than I am... call me the fly-by-night or even fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type! ;) :)
And now I can't wait to read the #2 -- anybody that can make Mary and that Lamb twistedly funny is worth more than a 'gander'.... :) :) Maybe even a goose! ;) :) :) LOL!
Take care up there and I promise to try to get back to some semblance of a routine in a a couple more weeks... :)
Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thank you, Raul, and have a wonderful day!
-
Thanks and you too have a wonderful day! You're welcome! :)
Comment from Sandra Leon-Gonzalez
Hi my friend, this is so deep. It really draw you in and gives you such pause to think. The ending was such a great wrap. Thank you so much for sharing. Be well, be safe and be blessed.
Sandy.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
Hi my friend, this is so deep. It really draw you in and gives you such pause to think. The ending was such a great wrap. Thank you so much for sharing. Be well, be safe and be blessed.
Sandy.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thank you, Sandra, for stopping in on this one, my lady - your support is so appreciated! Here's wishing you a Magnificent Monday out there... I'll be back on schedule in another week or so....? LOL! ;) Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
A beautifully crafted poem but I get a message of despair. I am trying to fill in the blanks when I see this...
"No promise of companionship
is found within the light of dawn -
Grand plans and schemes and lifelong dreams
lie crumbling 'neath woe's paragon."
Ralf
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
A beautifully crafted poem but I get a message of despair. I am trying to fill in the blanks when I see this...
"No promise of companionship
is found within the light of dawn -
Grand plans and schemes and lifelong dreams
lie crumbling 'neath woe's paragon."
Ralf
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thank you, Ralf, for stopping in on this one, my lady - your support is so appreciated! Here's wishing you a Magnificent Monday out there... I'll be back on schedule in another week or so....? LOL! ;) Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
Comment from Cindy Decker
Yvette,
I read your poem 3 or 4 times, and I admit, I do not understand it. I know that doesn't mean it's confusing or bad, it might be an awesome poem. I just can't grasp the meaning. But I wish you good luck in the contest.
Cindy
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
|
Yvette,
I read your poem 3 or 4 times, and I admit, I do not understand it. I know that doesn't mean it's confusing or bad, it might be an awesome poem. I just can't grasp the meaning. But I wish you good luck in the contest.
Cindy
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
-
S'okay, Cindy -- sometimes it is what it is. Believe me, I would much rather you be honest, my lady, than make up some mumbo-jumbo that you hope 'sticks'... it was more a reflection of the present reality, although not in my usual specific terms, so, in that respect, you are right: I changed the motif on you!! I'm gonna claim author privilege on that one and hope you'll stick around for the next one.... who knows? Maybe all this sorting and packing and packing and sorting is getting to the blonde brain - lol! ;) Take care and thanx, as always, for being there! ;) Yvette
-
Yvette, thank you for your kind note and for understanding. As long as I?ve been on Fanstory, I have always noticed how beautiful your poems are. Have a great week.
Comment from Debbie Pope
This one really spoke to me, Yvette. I attribute some of your words to your present downsizing efforts. Your "exhaustion" and your "being removed from all that makes" life whole. But, I'm not moving, and I feel the same bereft soul. My walls also mock for they are no longer bastions of fellowship. That's the way that life goes, but it does leave the soul hurting. Life comes when my grandson comes to visit, but so does exhaustion like I've never felt.
This is beautifully poignant. A winner for sure.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
This one really spoke to me, Yvette. I attribute some of your words to your present downsizing efforts. Your "exhaustion" and your "being removed from all that makes" life whole. But, I'm not moving, and I feel the same bereft soul. My walls also mock for they are no longer bastions of fellowship. That's the way that life goes, but it does leave the soul hurting. Life comes when my grandson comes to visit, but so does exhaustion like I've never felt.
This is beautifully poignant. A winner for sure.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Yeah, I wouldn't bank on that, but you sure know how to make a girl smile, BBF!! :) :) Thank you so very much for such a beautiful starry smile here -- your comments always mean the world to me! Here's wishing you a Magnificent Monday down there... I'll be back on schedule in another week or so....? LOL! ;) Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
-
Are you going to Huntsville?
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
What do i say to this?
Excellently presented in rhyme and flow.
A message added to richen the spot on total package.
VEry nicely done, i loved it and a winner for sure.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
|
What do i say to this?
Excellently presented in rhyme and flow.
A message added to richen the spot on total package.
VEry nicely done, i loved it and a winner for sure.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
-
Thank you so very much, Barb, for such a beautiful starry smile here -- please know they and your comments mean the world to me! Here's wishing you a Magnificent Monday out there... I'll be back on schedule in another week or so....? LOL! ;) Yvette
P.S. Sorry, I'm soooooo far behind on everything as we are trying to 'downsize' over here. Just about finished going through the whole house and deciding what to donate and what to put in storage so that the house 'presents' as attractive and roomy - lol! Now I'm slogging (REALLY slow going - ugh!) through room by room and cleaning from floor to ceiling and in-between... forgot how much I HATE moving because you get the house the way you would like it to 'look' and then sell it! :) :)
