When my son was born
This is what I saw9 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Oh, I think when those grandkids arrive, you will change your mind. Or at least I hope you do. A sweet poetic tale of longing and then another kind of longing. Life is an incredible journey.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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Oh, I think when those grandkids arrive, you will change your mind. Or at least I hope you do. A sweet poetic tale of longing and then another kind of longing. Life is an incredible journey.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Lance. speaaking from having had boku experience rising kids i can safely tell you children will change your life in so many ways.
That condo in Hawaii? Make it on Maui, if you want real paradise. I have been ther twice and would love to live there. Good poetry from top to bottom...full of emotion. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Hi Lance. speaaking from having had boku experience rising kids i can safely tell you children will change your life in so many ways.
That condo in Hawaii? Make it on Maui, if you want real paradise. I have been ther twice and would love to live there. Good poetry from top to bottom...full of emotion. : ) Bob
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Bob. Yes, I've been twice too. I really plan to retire on Maui or the the Big Island. My boy is 20 now. So, it's not too far off.
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I love Maui. :) Bob
Comment from judiverse
Good luck with the Hawaii condo, and your son has been forewarned. I love the progression in this from the wonder of the newborn and then seeing him off to college. Although your home might know silent days there's an upside in that you can sell the pricey place. I like your caution to him to call before coming for a visit and a reminder that there's no free babysitting.. The touches of humor are great. Best of luck with this free verse. It's a pleasure to read. judi
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Good luck with the Hawaii condo, and your son has been forewarned. I love the progression in this from the wonder of the newborn and then seeing him off to college. Although your home might know silent days there's an upside in that you can sell the pricey place. I like your caution to him to call before coming for a visit and a reminder that there's no free babysitting.. The touches of humor are great. Best of luck with this free verse. It's a pleasure to read. judi
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thank you
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from papa55mike
Yeah, you hold on to that babysitting the grandkids for money. It never happened for us. What a wonderfully written poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Yeah, you hold on to that babysitting the grandkids for money. It never happened for us. What a wonderfully written poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much
Comment from roof35
This is a nice tribute to a son and to your mate. I really enjoyed reading it. I would mention a typo so you can fix it if you agree. I think "costed" should just be "cost." I give you five stars because it is nicely done.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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This is a nice tribute to a son and to your mate. I really enjoyed reading it. I would mention a typo so you can fix it if you agree. I think "costed" should just be "cost." I give you five stars because it is nicely done.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thank you. I was a bit confused about cost.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry and as a mother of four boys, I do understand. They are so precious. I have discovered that grandchildren are equally precious. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry and as a mother of four boys, I do understand. They are so precious. I have discovered that grandchildren are equally precious. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Cute poem! I liked it all until the last part, it kinda went left a little bit, in my opinion.
Also, there was no line breakage and it ran it all together, it would've benefited from a line break! It would have made it a lot easier to follow;-)
That needs attention;-)
The words, until then, flowed nicely throughout the piece;-)
Good job!
I appreciate and thank you for sharing this lovely piece and may God bless you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Cute poem! I liked it all until the last part, it kinda went left a little bit, in my opinion.
Also, there was no line breakage and it ran it all together, it would've benefited from a line break! It would have made it a lot easier to follow;-)
That needs attention;-)
The words, until then, flowed nicely throughout the piece;-)
Good job!
I appreciate and thank you for sharing this lovely piece and may God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much
Comment from Irene Bratton
Your poem is really great. It begins with such sweet images that the ending is completely unexpected. It made me laugh and I had to read it again. I love it. Thank you for sharing.
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Your poem is really great. It begins with such sweet images that the ending is completely unexpected. It made me laugh and I had to read it again. I love it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very touching poem, with a twist of humor! I did not realize that the infant staring at me in the photo (who isn't actually your son!) is now grown, and that in the short space of a free-verse poem, you would take HIM from infancy to fatherhood! So your poem had a surprisingly forward momentum.
I suggest just one minor revision:
I saw the home that your mother and I will sell because it costed us a fortune,
-->
I saw the home that your mother and I will sell because it costed us a fortune,
I enjoyed reading this poem.
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Very touching poem, with a twist of humor! I did not realize that the infant staring at me in the photo (who isn't actually your son!) is now grown, and that in the short space of a free-verse poem, you would take HIM from infancy to fatherhood! So your poem had a surprisingly forward momentum.
I suggest just one minor revision:
I saw the home that your mother and I will sell because it costed us a fortune,
-->
I saw the home that your mother and I will sell because it costed us a fortune,
I enjoyed reading this poem.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
