Traffic
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Hill"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
11 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like the tension in this one, waiting, wondering and waiting some more. I liked the aside about the cedar chest. I could small it and see the saved baby items in it because my mom had one too.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
  |
I like the tension in this one, waiting, wondering and waiting some more. I liked the aside about the cedar chest. I could small it and see the saved baby items in it because my mom had one too.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
-
Thank you for your review & feedback. I'm glad it had that effect on you.
Comment from aryr
You did a great job with this chapter Liz. Although I am reading the chapters that brought us to the cave, I tend to read the chapters in reversed numerical order. This way I don't lose the story in my mind. You were very descriptive, outlining the character's specialty and role they played in the escape. Well done.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
|
You did a great job with this chapter Liz. Although I am reading the chapters that brought us to the cave, I tend to read the chapters in reversed numerical order. This way I don't lose the story in my mind. You were very descriptive, outlining the character's specialty and role they played in the escape. Well done.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your loyalty to the girls. Many of the following chapters involve their horrendous stories of being captured. I will be posting a poem from my poetry club every so often so you won't be disappointed.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like this special and tough story of adventure, very challengingly and interesting narrated; enjoyed the read; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
|
I like this special and tough story of adventure, very challengingly and interesting narrated; enjoyed the read; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 04-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your insightful review. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
**Spoiler** There is barely a calm moment in this whole story. I hope you can follow it.
Comment from AJ McCall
I don't read many books about Native Americans. And Runs through the Grass reminds me a little of myself when I was around ten years old, running ahead of my dad pushing the stroller who would then start jogging with it to catch up to me. I enjoyed reading this very much!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
|
I don't read many books about Native Americans. And Runs through the Grass reminds me a little of myself when I was around ten years old, running ahead of my dad pushing the stroller who would then start jogging with it to catch up to me. I enjoyed reading this very much!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your enthusiastic review. Runs through the grass is about to go into action in the next chapter. There is hardly a calm moment in this whole story. I hope you continue to follow it.
-
You're welcome! And I will! :)
Comment from lancellot
It is a well written chapter. You do well showing the fear and anxiety of the teens. Your description of their further escape plan gives the reader everything they need to know. The anticipation is heavy, and now we just await the release. Good hook.
A well written chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
|
It is a well written chapter. You do well showing the fear and anxiety of the teens. Your description of their further escape plan gives the reader everything they need to know. The anticipation is heavy, and now we just await the release. Good hook.
A well written chapter.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. There is hardly a calm moment in this whole story. I hope you continue to follow it.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh my goodness, Liz, you've got me wanting to turn the page here.... and there's no page to turn!! ;) :) Look forward to the plan being put into action -- thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
Dove patiently expeditiously, elaborated upon the point. --> Dove patiently and expeditiously elaborated the point.
the bushes, until her pursuers --> the bushes until her pursuers
She was free to go --> She would be free to go
to a plan laid out, of which she could never have imagined. --> to the plan being laid out; she could never have imagined something like it.
happened and they were --> happened, and they were
memories
of another time she was consumed by cedar, washed over her. --> memories [eliminate the unnecessary 'carriage return' here] of another time she had been consumed by cedar washed over her.
[new paragraph here and make everything in the memory in italics so that it is easier to follow the flashback...]
She noted must be no one had opened --> She noted that no one must have, as yet, not opened
flagging emotional and --> flagging with emotional and
Silence shattered, with --> The silence shattered with
next, reminded her --> next reminded her
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
 |
Oh my goodness, Liz, you've got me wanting to turn the page here.... and there's no page to turn!! ;) :) Look forward to the plan being put into action -- thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
Dove patiently expeditiously, elaborated upon the point. --> Dove patiently and expeditiously elaborated the point.
the bushes, until her pursuers --> the bushes until her pursuers
She was free to go --> She would be free to go
to a plan laid out, of which she could never have imagined. --> to the plan being laid out; she could never have imagined something like it.
happened and they were --> happened, and they were
memories
of another time she was consumed by cedar, washed over her. --> memories [eliminate the unnecessary 'carriage return' here] of another time she had been consumed by cedar washed over her.
[new paragraph here and make everything in the memory in italics so that it is easier to follow the flashback...]
She noted must be no one had opened --> She noted that no one must have, as yet, not opened
flagging emotional and --> flagging with emotional and
Silence shattered, with --> The silence shattered with
next, reminded her --> next reminded her
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
-
thank you for your supportive constructive review. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is such a good story from beginning to end. I am anxiously waiting for your next post. Your characters and all conversations are real and believable.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
|
This is such a good story from beginning to end. I am anxiously waiting for your next post. Your characters and all conversations are real and believable.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I joined a poetry club so there may be an unrelated poem between episodes. The next one is their running toward the cave for safety.
-
Can't wait!
Comment from Mistydawn
This is another great chapter in your Liz and Linda book. It's very well-written, suspenseful start to finish. You had me on the edge of my seat, hoping they could make their escape. I could feel their anxiety, their tension as they waited it out. I do hope their well thought out plan goes the way they hope.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
|
This is another great chapter in your Liz and Linda book. It's very well-written, suspenseful start to finish. You had me on the edge of my seat, hoping they could make their escape. I could feel their anxiety, their tension as they waited it out. I do hope their well thought out plan goes the way they hope.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your loyal attention. And enthusiastic review. I joined a poetry club so there may be an unrelated poem between episodes. The next one is their running toward the cave for safety.
Comment from lyenochka
I like how poetically you portrayed the emotions here, especially the personification of Fear. 'crept through the branches, twisting, writhing, coiling around everyone's throat.' But I wasn't sure where everyone was and if the van's arrival meant the girls will be noticed as being gone.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
|
I like how poetically you portrayed the emotions here, especially the personification of Fear. 'crept through the branches, twisting, writhing, coiling around everyone's throat.' But I wasn't sure where everyone was and if the van's arrival meant the girls will be noticed as being gone.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
You are never safe and never alone, this is what surfaces from the depth of this chapter."
It crept through the branches, twisting, writhing, coiling around everyone's throat. That's what fear did to people. Strangled them. Weaving, entwining, wrenching courage from their weary hearts. Everyone was flagging emotional and physical fatigue. They wanted this horrible nightmare to be ended." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
|
You are never safe and never alone, this is what surfaces from the depth of this chapter."
It crept through the branches, twisting, writhing, coiling around everyone's throat. That's what fear did to people. Strangled them. Weaving, entwining, wrenching courage from their weary hearts. Everyone was flagging emotional and physical fatigue. They wanted this horrible nightmare to be ended." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. You chose some of my favorite lines too.
