Peach Sunset
3/7/5 Spring Haiku17 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Gypsy,
The image and verse work together in a very tight package within the Haiku format.
In this post, you chose very specific proper nouns to express your thoughts.
Mark
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Gypsy,
The image and verse work together in a very tight package within the Haiku format.
In this post, you chose very specific proper nouns to express your thoughts.
Mark
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much, Mark. I appreciate your time and excellent feedback. Have a lovely day.
Gypsy
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your concise haiku is excellent in every respect--vividly descriptive and lovely, depicting an amazing sunset, through use of appealing metaphors.
The artwork is awesome.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Your concise haiku is excellent in every respect--vividly descriptive and lovely, depicting an amazing sunset, through use of appealing metaphors.
The artwork is awesome.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from zanya
I think perhaps any poetic commentary of mine on this exquisite work would simply be superfluous - what a joy to read - wish I were there seeing that 'peach sunset'!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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I think perhaps any poetic commentary of mine on this exquisite work would simply be superfluous - what a joy to read - wish I were there seeing that 'peach sunset'!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words and six stars!
Comment from karenina
I know, I KNOW it's perfectly fine to be 3/7/5---- Still can you forgive me if I say I miss the tried and true way we all learned back in the day even as I compliment you on your wonderful photo and Haiku??? I know Basho said "First learn the rules, then break them." I'm a hard nut to crack I guess... I sat here trying to think of two words or one word with two syllables to suggest to you even though I KNOW your perfectly fine here!
Argh! I need a Haiku intervention! I was trying to hold it in but.... PASTEL! Pastel peach sunset! Okay, you can ignore me now... I couldn't put a cork in it! (smile)-----
Karenina
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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I know, I KNOW it's perfectly fine to be 3/7/5---- Still can you forgive me if I say I miss the tried and true way we all learned back in the day even as I compliment you on your wonderful photo and Haiku??? I know Basho said "First learn the rules, then break them." I'm a hard nut to crack I guess... I sat here trying to think of two words or one word with two syllables to suggest to you even though I KNOW your perfectly fine here!
Argh! I need a Haiku intervention! I was trying to hold it in but.... PASTEL! Pastel peach sunset! Okay, you can ignore me now... I couldn't put a cork in it! (smile)-----
Karenina
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Hah hah hah... sometimes my haiku turn out to be 5/7/5 but I don't force it. If I force it it's not haiku, it's a 5/7/5 too wordy. With haiku you aim to deliver a sentiment and a visual picture in the least amount of words. I follow the rules of haiku masters and the haiku society of America. There are beautiful haiku that have even less syllables than mine but I know a lot of people in fanstory have learned it wrong. It's 5/7/5 in Japan but not in English haiku because in Japan they don't have Syllables, they have short sounds they turn out to be 5/7/5 translated to English is less syllables.
I could add pastel but it's not needed...peach it's peach I don't need the shade to describe a sunset miles away.
If you have time, check this collection of haiku from the haiku foundation....
click here
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
PS... I taught haiku in fanstory, three years ago.
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Oh I do know all about the Haiku rules and "unrules"---and my post was meant tongue in cheek, while complimenting your poem. Glad you taught the form here because you obviously know what your doing...and by the way? Pastel was just a
"punch line" to all of those who literally give a 3 or 4 star review if a Haiku isn't 5-7-5. Your poem was lovely.--Karenin
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Pastel! I get it now. That is what we call cakes in Spain...pastel. okay, thank you.
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Um....yeah....let's go with that! (If only I knew Spanish!)----LOL--Karenina
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You painted an ambient picture here and the icing on the cake brought happiness and tastes of sweet pleasure on my tongue, much enjoyed, perfectly composed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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You painted an ambient picture here and the icing on the cake brought happiness and tastes of sweet pleasure on my tongue, much enjoyed, perfectly composed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Well - the photograph is gorgeous I can only imagine what it must make one feel like in person. Peach is a color I see in sunsets only over lakes I think - I don't think I've seen one here in the mountains...
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Well - the photograph is gorgeous I can only imagine what it must make one feel like in person. Peach is a color I see in sunsets only over lakes I think - I don't think I've seen one here in the mountains...
Comment Written 29-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
I woke up with this kaiku in my mind. Originally was pink sunset but when I found the right picture it was peach and it seemed to go better with frosting. :)
Comment from Gloria ....
Very lovely indeed, Gypsy. When the sunset at a particular time of the year strikes the mountains or any geographical the results can be quite striking as you have stated here.
A fine job and many thanks for sharing today.
Gloria
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Very lovely indeed, Gypsy. When the sunset at a particular time of the year strikes the mountains or any geographical the results can be quite striking as you have stated here.
A fine job and many thanks for sharing today.
Gloria
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, Gloria.
Comment from Gert sherwood
My Gypsy Blue you are getting super good with your haiku(s) with us picturing peach colored icing on a piece of cake.
I'm waiting to see what you are coming up with next.
Gert
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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My Gypsy Blue you are getting super good with your haiku(s) with us picturing peach colored icing on a piece of cake.
I'm waiting to see what you are coming up with next.
Gert
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much, Gert. :)
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You are welcome Gypsy Blue
Gert
Comment from Frank Jauregui
I enjoyed your Peach Sunset haiku. Got me thinking of peach icing on a cake. Never had it, but sounds good. Mount Fuji started morphing into Mount fudgy the more I pondered the possibilities. LOL! Thank you for the added info.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed your Peach Sunset haiku. Got me thinking of peach icing on a cake. Never had it, but sounds good. Mount Fuji started morphing into Mount fudgy the more I pondered the possibilities. LOL! Thank you for the added info.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from royowen
I love the ambiguous post here Gypsy. The cleverness of this makes it a very imaginative and pleasing "peach" of an haiku. The excellence is well conceive, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I love the ambiguous post here Gypsy. The cleverness of this makes it a very imaginative and pleasing "peach" of an haiku. The excellence is well conceive, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review.
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Welcome
