Sheltered Life
4/7/3 Haibun17 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Bednar
A snippet in the day and life of a very old tortoise! Haibun is one of my favorite poetic styles. Can you imagine living for 187 years... astounding.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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A snippet in the day and life of a very old tortoise! Haibun is one of my favorite poetic styles. Can you imagine living for 187 years... astounding.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words. I can't even imagine living to 90... LoL
Comment from Ulla
Hola arival, It's a lovely haibun. Not easy to write, but I thinkthat you've manage very well.I loved the haiku at its conclusion. If I have a critique it would be that the prose biit should be more succinct. Short senteses as bullet points. I liked it. Un abrazo, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Hola arival, It's a lovely haibun. Not easy to write, but I thinkthat you've manage very well.I loved the haiku at its conclusion. If I have a critique it would be that the prose biit should be more succinct. Short senteses as bullet points. I liked it. Un abrazo, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Hello, Ulla,
Gracias guapa, the lo agradezco mucho.
short telegram style prose for haibun is not recommended in classic haibun. If you read my author notes I reference the rules by Matsuo Basho, the creator of haibun. The written part, the prose can be from a short paragraph to a journal entry. It's not as limited as the western poets think, especially in fanstory.
Thank you very much for your review and feedback.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is an excellent haibun--with a prose beginning that's a good length (I've read some with really loooong prose paragraphs) and a great haiku.
I can just see the wise old guy sitting there One thing: 187-year-old is
correct, hyphenated--because it's a direct modifier--and with no "s." (retired English teacher!)
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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This is an excellent haibun--with a prose beginning that's a good length (I've read some with really loooong prose paragraphs) and a great haiku.
I can just see the wise old guy sitting there One thing: 187-year-old is
correct, hyphenated--because it's a direct modifier--and with no "s." (retired English teacher!)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Hello, Janice, thank you very much for your review and valuable feedback. I will correct it. The haibun can be longer but i went with the short one. Haiku teacher ;)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed learning about Johnathan here and I am amazed by his age, your words pay tribute to this grandad of the earth, fabulous words, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed learning about Johnathan here and I am amazed by his age, your words pay tribute to this grandad of the earth, fabulous words, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words about my Jonathan. May you have a peaceful day.
Gypsy
Comment from lancellot
Very nice. We don't see too many Haibuns on the site. This one is very good and I have to say. I like that expand your poetry to many different forms. I can always expect something new.
Thank you.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Very nice. We don't see too many Haibuns on the site. This one is very good and I have to say. I like that expand your poetry to many different forms. I can always expect something new.
Thank you.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Have a peaceful evening....or day... wherever you may be. :)
Gypsy
Comment from Gert sherwood
Thank you Gypsy Blue for introducing me to a haibun.
Smiles, you certainty did well showing us an 87 year old
tortoise with your excellent prose and your haibun.
My what a huge tortoise.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you Gypsy Blue for introducing me to a haibun.
Smiles, you certainty did well showing us an 87 year old
tortoise with your excellent prose and your haibun.
My what a huge tortoise.
Gert
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Have a peaceful evening....or day... wherever you may be. :)
Gypsy
Comment from Joan E.
I have always been fascinated by turtles and thoroughly enjoyed your haibun about Johnathan and the intriguing close-up picture. Thank you for your additional notes about Basho's use of the form. I enjoyed your lavish use of alliteration in this descriptive piece as well. Big smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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I have always been fascinated by turtles and thoroughly enjoyed your haibun about Johnathan and the intriguing close-up picture. Thank you for your additional notes about Basho's use of the form. I enjoyed your lavish use of alliteration in this descriptive piece as well. Big smiles- Joan
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, Joan. Take care, my friend.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are educating, interesting and creative. The poem
flows and connects well. The author's words describe the tortoise with details. Also thank you for the author's notes - I liked hearing about
the history of the Haibun form. The artwork is great and compliments
this poem.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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The author's words are educating, interesting and creative. The poem
flows and connects well. The author's words describe the tortoise with details. Also thank you for the author's notes - I liked hearing about
the history of the Haibun form. The artwork is great and compliments
this poem.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, Harmony. Take care, my friend.
Comment from royowen
I wonder how they manage to live so long, they don't move very quickly, nor do they move much at all really, but they are a wonderful creature, I've never known what they eat to provide energy for themselves, well done, Gypsy, good post, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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I wonder how they manage to live so long, they don't move very quickly, nor do they move much at all really, but they are a wonderful creature, I've never known what they eat to provide energy for themselves, well done, Gypsy, good post, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words :) have a wonderful evening.... Or day.
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You too,
Comment from lyenochka
Jonathan the Tortoise is amazing! I wrote about him last year when he turned 187. https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=939709&userid=781545&tf=0
I think if he's still living, he could be 188 now.
Enjoyed your haibun - especially the title!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Jonathan the Tortoise is amazing! I wrote about him last year when he turned 187. https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=939709&userid=781545&tf=0
I think if he's still living, he could be 188 now.
Enjoyed your haibun - especially the title!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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When looking for a picture, I found some fake news about him. A 500 pound woman sat on him and crashed him. I doubled checked and another news was a different lady, different weight, same end....dead. some people are so mean and ignorant.
I read your poem about Jonathan... it's very good!
Thank you very much for your review and kind words :) have a wonderful evening.... Or day.
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I was shocked to see that fake news. I guess the National Enquirer type of mags have infiltrated the internet. Sigh! I hope Jonathan is doing well. Have a lovely evening! ♥
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Yeah, I think he is fine. Stupid people :/
