Marv and Levi
Marv: a person to avoid. Levi: someone you would like to be.35 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Sweetie pie this was wonderful. I absolutely loved it. I am listening to a binge of "Duck Dodgers" courtesy of the Boomerang channel. I forgot how clever the writing was. This story should have been The best story of the month when it came out,
Karen
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Sweetie pie this was wonderful. I absolutely loved it. I am listening to a binge of "Duck Dodgers" courtesy of the Boomerang channel. I forgot how clever the writing was. This story should have been The best story of the month when it came out,
Karen
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much, Karen, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. This story is actually about a real person I once knew who taught me a whole lot about life and has played a big part the way I've viewed things since. A kind, generous, and nonjudgmental person who would do anything for anyone. You've made my week! This is one of my favorite stories, but I don't guess it was for everyone. But I'm especially glad you liked it, and are the type of person I feel would. I appreciate YOU!
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A lot of folks are weinies about what they read. They can not read deep.important work.
Karen
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Don't take this the wrong way, your Tucker series was a fun read, but I have a whole new respect for you as a writer after reading this. You told me you write when you're bored, but this goes beyond boredom.
Was this published somewhere? It feels familiar, but I don't think I read it here.
This was authored by someone with a big heart.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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Don't take this the wrong way, your Tucker series was a fun read, but I have a whole new respect for you as a writer after reading this. You told me you write when you're bored, but this goes beyond boredom.
Was this published somewhere? It feels familiar, but I don't think I read it here.
This was authored by someone with a big heart.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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I seldom take anything the wrong way, so don't worry. Tucker is just exaggerated, over-embellished, simile-laden foolishness, as is most everything I write. Written to entertain myself with a break from boredom. Honestly, I can't remember if someone published this somewhere or not. I don't submit anything anymore, but for a couple years, I had quite a lot posted between different places and newspapers, back before they became obsolete. LOL. Thanks for your generous review and kind words. Me? A big heart? LOL. Young lady, have I got you fooled. Seriously, don't tell anyone . . . you'll spoil my image. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from lyenochka
Wonderful story! And I like how you had the longwinded Marv tell all about Levi. Actually, I admired how Marv protected Levi and made sure that his brother couldn't contact him unless it was Levi's choice. And Levi shows us that maybe any of those homeless men we see might really be a wealthy man with a better sense of values.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Wonderful story! And I like how you had the longwinded Marv tell all about Levi. Actually, I admired how Marv protected Levi and made sure that his brother couldn't contact him unless it was Levi's choice. And Levi shows us that maybe any of those homeless men we see might really be a wealthy man with a better sense of values.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Helen, for your kind words and generous review. As a young boy I was witness to most of this story and it altered my thoughts and views for life. People, and most things aren't ever truly what they seem. So, we just have to stay openminded. I can't thank you enough for always taking time to read one of my old posts. Hope your parents are doing well, and you are getting some much needed rest at home! Hugs!
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Thank you, Ric! I have caught up on sleep. I loved your story and I agree that we should never judge people on what we see. 💖
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is exceptional, Ric. I love Marv's chatty nature. And of course, Levi for he never losing pace of stride in what was deemed dear in his life. The end narrative in this story is absolutely beautiful. A heartwarming and reveling finish. Always a fan, my friend.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2022
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This is exceptional, Ric. I love Marv's chatty nature. And of course, Levi for he never losing pace of stride in what was deemed dear in his life. The end narrative in this story is absolutely beautiful. A heartwarming and reveling finish. Always a fan, my friend.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much, John, for going back to read my older story. As with most of the fiction pieces that I write, there is a lot of truth in this story. I'm glad it touched you in some small way, which puts a frog in my throat, since it's an emotional one for me. It's kind words and encouragement like yours that keeps this old hack scribbling along. I can't thank you enough. Much appreciated!
Comment from Ritasher
Aww! I can't help it, your stories are so real, so emotional... It's unbelievable how some people (like Levi) just choose to do good with nothing in return. I love this friendship between Levi and Marv and the way you describe it. Not sure how much of that is a true story, but I guess it doesn't matter- it certainly feels like this memory of someone special means a lot to you. I like your way of describing things in sentences like here:
"The front door opened with a gust of blowing snow, and frigid wind whistled through sending in a chill to make butts pucker."
"Marv pulled a stained handkerchief from his back pocket, blew his nose and wiped his eyes. In that order."
"... with a series of thumps, his diarrhea of the mouth never missing a word as he jabbered on."
You have a talent of a picturesque expression. I am glad I've read this story.
Have a nice day, Ric! :)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Aww! I can't help it, your stories are so real, so emotional... It's unbelievable how some people (like Levi) just choose to do good with nothing in return. I love this friendship between Levi and Marv and the way you describe it. Not sure how much of that is a true story, but I guess it doesn't matter- it certainly feels like this memory of someone special means a lot to you. I like your way of describing things in sentences like here:
"The front door opened with a gust of blowing snow, and frigid wind whistled through sending in a chill to make butts pucker."
"Marv pulled a stained handkerchief from his back pocket, blew his nose and wiped his eyes. In that order."
"... with a series of thumps, his diarrhea of the mouth never missing a word as he jabbered on."
You have a talent of a picturesque expression. I am glad I've read this story.
Have a nice day, Ric! :)
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Hello, Rita, and thank you so much for your extra-special six-star review. This story's characters are real people, as are the happenings. Of course, I can't remember the actual conversations and wrote them to suit myself, but the jest of everything happened. Levi made a lasting impression on my life with his kindness and willingness to forgo his status and money to be with and help the people he cared about most. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ric :-)
Comment from Cindy Decker
Tic, that is an awesome story. I felt my age when you mentioned jaw breakers, and pixie sticks.
I like the Levi character , someone who isn't spoiled by money, nor consumed by it. Exceptional work, Ric. Congrats on 45 best.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Tic, that is an awesome story. I felt my age when you mentioned jaw breakers, and pixie sticks.
I like the Levi character , someone who isn't spoiled by money, nor consumed by it. Exceptional work, Ric. Congrats on 45 best.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much, Cindy, for taking time to go back and read my story. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated! You have made my Independence Day weekend an extra-special one. Blessings to you! Ric
Comment from Melissa Russell Deur
I was intrigued by this one-sided conversation. It reveals as much about Marv as it does Levi. I was and still am suspicious of Bill. I'm not convinced he is Levi's brother. He was uncommunicative with Marv until he learned that Levi was a wealthy man. Then suddenly he announces he's Levi's brother. Maybe he is his brother. The 'not-knowing for sure' makes the piece all the more interesting.
I was surprised that Marv volunteered to a stranger that he'd named Levi as his sole beneficiary. Then more surprised when I learned that Levi was already wealthy. I couldn't understand why Levi--plenty rich--needed more money...until I learned he had a heart for the homeless and shared his money. I think Marv and Levi's friendship is based on their in-common concern for those down on their luck. I, too, am worried about what will become of Levi's philanthropic efforts after he dies. Because of the way Marv rambles and blabs to anyone who walks into his store, he seems naive. So I loved that he was instantly on guard when Bill asked for Levi's contact information...and he wouldn't give it to him.
"...end of conversation." What a great way to end the conversation and end the article! Well done.
As an aside, I think you have a typo: "big ol' burly customer who straggled in stomping the slush off this four-buckle galoshes." Did you mean "his four-buckle galoshes"?
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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I was intrigued by this one-sided conversation. It reveals as much about Marv as it does Levi. I was and still am suspicious of Bill. I'm not convinced he is Levi's brother. He was uncommunicative with Marv until he learned that Levi was a wealthy man. Then suddenly he announces he's Levi's brother. Maybe he is his brother. The 'not-knowing for sure' makes the piece all the more interesting.
I was surprised that Marv volunteered to a stranger that he'd named Levi as his sole beneficiary. Then more surprised when I learned that Levi was already wealthy. I couldn't understand why Levi--plenty rich--needed more money...until I learned he had a heart for the homeless and shared his money. I think Marv and Levi's friendship is based on their in-common concern for those down on their luck. I, too, am worried about what will become of Levi's philanthropic efforts after he dies. Because of the way Marv rambles and blabs to anyone who walks into his store, he seems naive. So I loved that he was instantly on guard when Bill asked for Levi's contact information...and he wouldn't give it to him.
"...end of conversation." What a great way to end the conversation and end the article! Well done.
As an aside, I think you have a typo: "big ol' burly customer who straggled in stomping the slush off this four-buckle galoshes." Did you mean "his four-buckle galoshes"?
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much, Melissa, for reading and reviewing my story. And, I hope you don't mind me referring to you my your first name? I'm glad you caught that Marv is not exactly right, simple minded, and someone we try to avoid, but he was loyal. He left everything to Levi because he was the only person he could trust. You are the first person who has liked that I left the story for readers to decide how they want it to end. My biggest complaint has been people wanting to know what really happened. So, here it is, so you can decide which way you would like it best. Bill was diagnosed with cancer and not given very long to live. He set out to find his brother hoping they could settle their differences before he passed. Bill lived on the top floor of a luxury hotel. Levi stayed on the streets, since he smothered inside. But they managed to be almost inseparable over the next two years before Bill died. Oh, and thanks for finding my mistake that was right there all along and nobody, including me had ever seen it. LOL. Sometimes, I make lots of mistakes. I get in a hurry with thoughts pouring out faster than I can type them, and then, I can read through foolish mistakes and never see them. Like I explained to you about the bombs and looking for Dairy Queen. Sorry, didn't mean to write you a novella. Thanks, again. Much appreciated!
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"My biggest complaint has been people wanting to know what really happened."
I assume you are saying the complaints you receive are from people wanting to nail down an ending. I've gotten that, too, on two recent posts I made. I like a reader to participate, to think about it later, to come to their own conclusions. But many people feel untethered if they can't have a pat resolution. I think the true story of Bill and Levi is touching, but not as compelling from a literary standpoint as wondering about ulterior motives informed by the readers' world views.
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I agree with you wholeheartedly! I'm not doing all the work, the reader needs to come to some sort of conclusion on his/her own. LOL.
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Right!
Comment from DeboraDyess
Little over a half >> A little over a half
warm. Surrounded by >> warm, surrounded by
The front door opened with a gust of blowing snow, and frigid wind whistled through sending in a chill to make butts pucker. >> Beautiful sentence. I'm from Texas. I don't think I've ever had my butt pucker from the cold. :) Great image. lol
I'll have three, two-liter bottles of Stoli vodka," the man, replied. >> I'll have three two-liter bottles of Stoli vodka," the man replied.
a round here before mister. >> around here before, mister.
painted over the graffiti covered buildings, >> painted over the graffiti-covered buildings,
waving like a traffic cop on crack. The man just stood with a look of exasperation. >> LOL. Love the description. The second sentence, 'The man' should be an independent paragraph, I believe. It's not Marv, so it needs it's own spot in the story. :)
Most, are just >> Most are just >> Never separate the subject from the verb.
sixty/plus >> sixty-plus
Marv's big mouth is going to get Levi in trouble!
you say your name was newcomer?" >> you say your name was, newcomer?"
"Sorry mister, >> "Sorry, mister
Oops ... his brother? Hmmm...
said, Bill Ledbetter, red-faced and bristled. >> said, Bill Ledbetter, red-faced and bristled. >> I have issues with speech tags, so let me start with that. :) There's absolutely no need for 'said' in this. YOu can reword it to indicate it's Bill speaking but not use a tag. Something like, "Bill Ledbetter bristled, red-faced.' Same with Marv. He is obviously flustered. I can tell that from his speech. But instead of 'Marv said', why not show us what he's doing with his hands or if he flushes or looks nervous instead of 'said'.
Frustrated, Bill Ledbetter's mouth drops wide-open. >> You have this after the interrupted speech. It seems out of order. Does he do that after he's interrupted by Marv? If so, put it there. It's unikely he is interrupted by his own action, which is how this reads.
Marv is a good friend! I'm glad to read that.
This was a fun read, although is it a longer story? I didn't see that it remained a contest piece, although it would have been a great one. :)
HOw blessed you were to know these men. :)
Be blessed some more!
Deb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Little over a half >> A little over a half
warm. Surrounded by >> warm, surrounded by
The front door opened with a gust of blowing snow, and frigid wind whistled through sending in a chill to make butts pucker. >> Beautiful sentence. I'm from Texas. I don't think I've ever had my butt pucker from the cold. :) Great image. lol
I'll have three, two-liter bottles of Stoli vodka," the man, replied. >> I'll have three two-liter bottles of Stoli vodka," the man replied.
a round here before mister. >> around here before, mister.
painted over the graffiti covered buildings, >> painted over the graffiti-covered buildings,
waving like a traffic cop on crack. The man just stood with a look of exasperation. >> LOL. Love the description. The second sentence, 'The man' should be an independent paragraph, I believe. It's not Marv, so it needs it's own spot in the story. :)
Most, are just >> Most are just >> Never separate the subject from the verb.
sixty/plus >> sixty-plus
Marv's big mouth is going to get Levi in trouble!
you say your name was newcomer?" >> you say your name was, newcomer?"
"Sorry mister, >> "Sorry, mister
Oops ... his brother? Hmmm...
said, Bill Ledbetter, red-faced and bristled. >> said, Bill Ledbetter, red-faced and bristled. >> I have issues with speech tags, so let me start with that. :) There's absolutely no need for 'said' in this. YOu can reword it to indicate it's Bill speaking but not use a tag. Something like, "Bill Ledbetter bristled, red-faced.' Same with Marv. He is obviously flustered. I can tell that from his speech. But instead of 'Marv said', why not show us what he's doing with his hands or if he flushes or looks nervous instead of 'said'.
Frustrated, Bill Ledbetter's mouth drops wide-open. >> You have this after the interrupted speech. It seems out of order. Does he do that after he's interrupted by Marv? If so, put it there. It's unikely he is interrupted by his own action, which is how this reads.
Marv is a good friend! I'm glad to read that.
This was a fun read, although is it a longer story? I didn't see that it remained a contest piece, although it would have been a great one. :)
HOw blessed you were to know these men. :)
Be blessed some more!
Deb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you, Debora Dyess, for spending so much of your time in helping fix my mistakes. Careless and always in a hurry, I have a tendency to make mistakes that I know better than. I can read right through anything without seeing a thing wrong. Of course, I do little to no proofing or editing. I just write. Sorta like driving through a war zone, bombs whistling and exploding all around me, bricks and mortar flying, and all I can think about is getting to the Dairy Queen just out of sight. Who am I kidding, there is no Dairy Queen in a war zone, but in my mind there is. I apologize that I'm even more rusty than usual, since I haven't written anything in two years. But, knowing little to nothing about punctuation and barely a noun from a verb, sometimes I make a complete mess of things. Anyway, sorry for the novella, and thank you very much for your generous and enlightening review. Much appreciated!
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Dude, I'm totally in it for the DQ, too! lol I'm pretty bad about posting before something is 'ready', too, and I've worked as an editor before! I did enjoy the tale. You were a blessed guy to know these two men. :) Keep writing! You aren't THAT rusty, and there's always a Dairy Queen in sight. :)
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LOL. Thanks, Debora, dear, maybe it's about time for me to start paying more attention to the particulars. It sure reads better once I took your much appreciated advice. Thanks, again!
Comment from BHWatson
A special bond has developed over the years between Marv and Levi. The vagrants behind Marv's liquor store have been part of the landscape for many years, and it appears that at one stage Levi may well have been a member of the group. It turns out he was an inventor of sorts, with royalties pouring in each month, to make him one of the wealthiest men in America. He shares his wealth with those who need his help the most; making sure that the liquor store doesn't go to the wall in the process.
Levi falls in love and shares a period time with a woman he adores named Shirley, until she freezes to death one night, unable to get into the mission house. Life does not seem to matter so much any more. Levi continues to help others, but chooses to keep himself largely to himself.
Marv is suspicious of Levi's brother turning up. Where there is money, there are parasites wanting to get their share.
This short story leaves me thinking and wondering and wanting so much more. I want to know Levi and Marv more intimately.
I hope I got this gist of this right. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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A special bond has developed over the years between Marv and Levi. The vagrants behind Marv's liquor store have been part of the landscape for many years, and it appears that at one stage Levi may well have been a member of the group. It turns out he was an inventor of sorts, with royalties pouring in each month, to make him one of the wealthiest men in America. He shares his wealth with those who need his help the most; making sure that the liquor store doesn't go to the wall in the process.
Levi falls in love and shares a period time with a woman he adores named Shirley, until she freezes to death one night, unable to get into the mission house. Life does not seem to matter so much any more. Levi continues to help others, but chooses to keep himself largely to himself.
Marv is suspicious of Levi's brother turning up. Where there is money, there are parasites wanting to get their share.
This short story leaves me thinking and wondering and wanting so much more. I want to know Levi and Marv more intimately.
I hope I got this gist of this right. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much, B H Watson, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. The biggest complaint with my story has been people wanting to know more. I intentionally left it so people could take the story where they choose. But here is how the story truly ends. Marv is the person we would most like to avoid, although he is a loyal friend to Levi. Bill came to find Levi and settle their differences. Bill lived on the top floor of a luxury hotel. Levi stayed on the streets, since he smothered inside. Bill had been diagnosed with cancer and given a short time to live, so he wanted to settle differences with his brother before passing. Levi did contact Bill and the two brothers spent two inseparable years together before Bill died. I'm glad you liked the story and hope the true ending doesn't spoil it for you. They did get to spend two happy years as brothers. Thanks again for reading!
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Nice. No not a spoiler. Glad the real story was kinder.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
-P1 - Have you given any thought to restructure P 1 and move Marv's liquor - misfits after on tap? Reads more active that way.
-P2 paints an illusion of the scene that is clear and easy to picture the homeless camp
-bet cha should be betcha, the contraction of bet/you.
-Forty years behind the bar. He probably has more stories he could tell than Carter's has pills. Always something occurring in these sorts of places.
-diarrhea of the mouth - accurate description of Marv's never ending chatter.
-Though well-intended, the improvements to the scenery put in by the city are indicative of most towns that cosmetically spruce up an area for a short while only to allow it to fall back into disarray again. With the homeless camp on the property the setting is probably on the outskirts of town.
-L shape should be L-shape.
-traffic cop on crack - another good depiction.
-Strong characterization of Marv. For the most part, the customer just seems to lie low and play sounding board.
-Seems Marv has compassion for the homeless.
-hair styles should be hairstyles.
-others regal bloodlines should be other's regal bloodlines.
-Surprising the customer is Levy's brother. Marv's reaction indicates there is more to their story than what has been revealed.
My reviews are mere suggestions. Feel free to use anything that provides assistance and/or chuck the whole shebang.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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-P1 - Have you given any thought to restructure P 1 and move Marv's liquor - misfits after on tap? Reads more active that way.
-P2 paints an illusion of the scene that is clear and easy to picture the homeless camp
-bet cha should be betcha, the contraction of bet/you.
-Forty years behind the bar. He probably has more stories he could tell than Carter's has pills. Always something occurring in these sorts of places.
-diarrhea of the mouth - accurate description of Marv's never ending chatter.
-Though well-intended, the improvements to the scenery put in by the city are indicative of most towns that cosmetically spruce up an area for a short while only to allow it to fall back into disarray again. With the homeless camp on the property the setting is probably on the outskirts of town.
-L shape should be L-shape.
-traffic cop on crack - another good depiction.
-Strong characterization of Marv. For the most part, the customer just seems to lie low and play sounding board.
-Seems Marv has compassion for the homeless.
-hair styles should be hairstyles.
-others regal bloodlines should be other's regal bloodlines.
-Surprising the customer is Levy's brother. Marv's reaction indicates there is more to their story than what has been revealed.
My reviews are mere suggestions. Feel free to use anything that provides assistance and/or chuck the whole shebang.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
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Hello, Brett Matthew West, it seems like only yesterday when you first joined the site and I started reading your work. Glad to see you are still hard at it. After being gone for two years and not writing, I am not yet in a position to devote much time to writing, judging or even reading. Thank you so much for taking time to read, offer suggestions, and review my post. My bad habit of writing fast and seldom doing little or any editing, I always tend to have mistakes that I read right through while writing, as most of us have a tendency to do. So, I always appreciate someone pointing them out. Marv is someone we would rather avoid, although a devoted friend. Levi is someone most of us would like to be. And Bill is just there, since Marv gives him no chance to talk. The property was, and still is, right in the middle of the city, not the outskirts of town. You are right, there is much more to the story, but I left it for people to fill in the way that suits them best. Which has drawn me lots of flack. So, here goes. Bill was diagnosed with cancer and not given long to live. He came to settle his differences with his brother Levi. Bill lived on the top floor of a luxury hotel. Levi stayed on the streets, since he smothered inside. They were lucky enough to spend almost two inseparable years together before he died. Thanks again for your outstanding review. Much appreciated!
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Stumbled across this under Read, saw your name, and read the story. Bios, and the sort, always interest me. Glad to see you posted something after being absent so long. I don't do too much on site right now. Battling some health issues. Once past them, perhaps. Still got a couple books been wanting to finish. So can not say for sure.
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Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you're having health issues. I hope not too serious and that you are soon back to full-steam ahead. So are you no longer on the committee we shared being a part of? Sorry, I can't say it with more understandable details. Thanks for dropping by and reading my post. You will be in my prayers and I hope you are well soon!
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The questioned asked is answered yes. Facing a couple surgeries, but glad you are back on site. Mind if I friend you?
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Of course, I'm honored and will do the same. And, please, tell the group hello. I still receive notifications, and in time I hope to rejoin them, if they will still have me. LOL. Take care and get well soon!
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Done Deal. Good to see you have returned to the fold.
